


Chaos theory

by Lotter



Series: The Butterfly effect [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Realism, Attempt at Worldbuilding, Character Death, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Fuinjutsu, Kinda fix it story, M/M, Mito and seals, Multi, Pre-Canon, Pre-Konoha Village, Reincarnation, Time Travel, Uzushiogakure | Hidden Eddy Village, it will be, mention of suicide, technically, you will have to wait quite a bit before meeting Uchihas or Senjus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2020-09-23 16:09:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 63,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20342923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotter/pseuds/Lotter
Summary: It started with pain and despair.A seal that failed. A desperate attempt at saving a moronic shinobi. A desperate girl.And it got better.The flap of a butterfly's wings can lead to a storm. Unfortunately, Nagisa is one hell of a butterfly. But a few ripples can't change the world, right?Reincarnated-OC-with-a-twist.Uzushio and Uzumaki's worldbuilding. Let's destroy canon together.





	1. Prologue : be the fail master instead of the seal master

**Author's Note:**

> Hey !
> 
> I'm back with a Naruto fanfic! It's probably more than I can chew but whatever.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Fair warning: It's a Naruto fanfiction, which means shinobi world. There'll be death, sadness, suicide and others funny things that may or may not trigger some of you. Also, it's a very short prologue.
> 
> You have been warned.
> 
> Also, I do not own Naruto.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Maria screw up.

Prologue: Be the fail master instead of the seal master.

* * *

Bare feet gently slapped against the cool wooden floor, Maria Nadehori slowly walked through her kitchen, catching a red apple on her way. The house was quiet and, after four years of living here, still lacked decorations. Bland. Sterile. There wasn't any hint of warmth or personality, but then, she reckoned, the house in itself was costly enough that she didn't want to spend her money carelessly.

Her hand ghosted over the walls as she walked, lightly stroking the smooth wooden surface before she froze, recoiling. It felt too much like a goodbye.

She stopped near the stairs, put a hand on the wall, and with a small amount of chakra, raised the protection around the basement. Her seal appeared under her hand, emitting a soft glow before vanishing. She closed her eyes, exhaling.

A tiny, tiny part of her knew it wasn't a good idea but she was far too invested to back down now. It had to be done. For her and... her breathing faltered and she clutched the headband fiercely, for him.

Strength Maria, strength.

She opened her eyes, moving her tense shoulders. No matter what, she would pull through it. She needed to act quickly, some shinobi sensor was bound to feel her chakra - or rather, the lack of chakra - inside the civilian district.

Under normal circumstances, she doubted the shinobi would bat an eyelid at that; it wasn't that uncommon. But-

Konoha has been in an uproar lately with the Uchiha clan massacre. Everyone suspected everyone and no one wanted to be shunned.

She knew how people reacted when faced with fear. They acted rashly, pushing and shoving away until the cause of their fear was no more, all the while basking in their own ignorance. Knowledge may be power but knowledge is uncomfortable, and so, rarely used.

Perhaps, she mused, this world would be better if everyone cared and tried to understand. It was only wishful thinking of a lonely girl, unrealistic and unrealizable.

Life in Konoha was good as long as you didn't have a strong moral compass. Indeed, that way you could easily ignore that poor little boy with whiskers hated by everyone, the scapegoat of the hidden village. The monster.

I'm not a monster. I'm Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo.

Her insides twisted, the urge to frown not easily set aside.

Uzumaki… That was a cursed name. It took guts and foolishness to proclaim such a thing as loudly as he did nowadays. Being branded an Uzumaki was the same as having a giant target painted on the back. It was a name associated with pain and fear: always hiding, always lying, and never trusting.

After the fall of Uzushiogakure, nineteen years ago, when the remaining members of the clan had no other choice but to go into hiding, the Uzumaki became a rare species. And rare is expensive.

The black market was soaring every time they managed to catch one. People shoved each other aside, hoping to catch a glimpse of the exotic rarity that was this clan's members. You could probably feel their glee from the other side of the world, licking their fingers at the prospect of millions of ryo they would gain from one Uzumaki.

And there was a reason they were hunted down. A small, tiny reason that drew rich scientific bastards like blood does sharks: their chakra. A weird chakra, always better than average, that mutates on an individual basis and sometimes, if the lineage wants it, can heal with a drop of blood.

It made them go crazy.

On the black market, they caused a sensation: she had heard that they never stay more than a day before being bought by some soulless bastards, or Kiri.

Everyone wanted an Uzumaki. They became the new trend, slowly losing their identities to become a thing. From who, they became a what. From a human, they became a thing.

If everyone cared, no one would have to go through that. If everyone cared, she wouldn't have to be haunted by those sad blue eyes.

She shook her head. It was too late now, he would be forever scarred and no one cared anyway. And she-

She already had a stupid Uchiha with a stupidly bright smile to save. She couldn't help someone else. It would only bring attention to her and she really didn't need that. She had enough of that already as she was known among the citizens to have been a good acquaintance of Itachi Uchiha, the prodigy turned mad killer. And now, they were watching her out of the corner of their eyes, waiting for her to snap just like him. She was tainted by association.

Of course, pressure and youth were used as the official reason for his kin-slaying; explaining everything and nothing at the same time. Typical shinobi village.

But she knew better.

She had asked her Uchiha about his eyes, if their power came, as the rumor has it, from hatred. She had probed him for a full week, almost losing their friendship, before he gave in.

The strength of the Uchiha came from love and trauma. And loving too much could lead to madness.

* * *

They were silently sitting on her wooden porch, her toes gently swaying, grazing the grass.

"Hey, Shishi-chan."

He winced at the nickname, wistful smile dropping before coming back full force, and tried to casually boop on her nose. She swatted his hand away.

"Don't frown, you're gonna get wrinkles." He teased, waggling his finger in front of her face.

"I'm trying to be serious, here." She scowled, perhaps a bit more upset than expected. Though, the corner of her mouth wobbled when she locked eyes with him. "I'm sorry you've been through so much. I'm sorry you've lost so much."

His eyes softened, the ghost of a caress on the back of her hand before he circled her wrist. His hold wasn't particularly clingy, slacker than anything else but it was enough for her to feel the roughness of his hand, the tiny crevices made by hard work, and many cuts.

She was tempted to turn her hand and curl her fingers, stroking his palm and fingertips, hopefully soothing some old scars. She didn't, ultimately, having only realized that his touch was making her nervous, guts full of knots and swirls.

Something in her chest burst into warmth. Under the weight of his eyes, she could feel herself coming undone. And she wanted it. She wanted to peel these layers of secrets she clothed herself in and-

-and as quick as his reputation painted him to be, he booped her nose. "Thank you."

He was dangerous, Maria realized- no, she had always known that, yet, as he smiled at her, the setting sun shining behind his head, she simply never realized that he would be a threat to her heart.

Her sunny Uchiha boy.

* * *

She had been mildly satisfied that day. She had wanted to ask more -always more, too curious- but knowing what he shared with her was already a clan secret had been such a profound show of his trust that she hadn't.

Itachi loved Shisui, deeply. And his death drove him mad.

It was the only logical explanation.

And in the deepest, darkest corner of her heart, she understood. Because the death of her Uchiha had driven her mad enough that she even entertained the idea of going back in time to save this asshole. Because when Itachi visited her... when he announced her that her sunny boy just committed suicide and gave her his headband, something inside her had snapped.

* * *

Sad dark eyes rimmed with red bore into her own, lips moving to deliver painful news she wasn't ready to hear.

She gasped, head going blank.

It took him three words to change the axis of her world. And it made her so angry.

She told him to leave and as the door closed, the first bowl exploded.

* * *

She had been so angry, furious even. He had no right to do that to her! She had broken things; she had screamed; she had even broken a wall. She couldn't understand. Why would he do that? That's not the brave way to die. Just the most selfish one. Wasn't he a proud Konoha shinobi?

And then, guilt seized her throat, held her heart in hostage, and slowly, painfully shredded part of her sanity. Had she been so self-centered that she had been blind to Shisui's malaise? Had she been a good friend?

She scoffed at herself.

He died believing her to be someone she wasn't. She had been a horrible friend, lying to his face and expecting the truth from him.

Finally, despair settled and crushed her last bit of sanity. He couldn't be dead, not him, not her sunny boy!

And she had cried, screamed again and cried some more. She felt sick, dark thoughts weighting on the heart. She stopped sleeping at some point, just staring at the walls. Even going outside was a challenge.

She couldn't face anyone. It was too hard, too tiring; she couldn't bear it. Because if she went outside, then she would see it. Life was still going on, not bothered by the death of her Shisui. And it was unthinkable.

Until she found food on her doorstep, dangos to be specific. There was only one person who would think dango would lift her spirit. And it did. For a small second, she had laughed and just after, cried. And strangely, the thought of Itachi going through the same pain and still trying to care for her inspired her: because she knew neither of them could live without him, she decided to stop his suicide altogether.

She had the means after all. She may have become rusty but she had an inkling understanding of the theory. She could do it. She would do it. And all of that took her to tonight.

She would set things right.

After checking that all of her security seals were up, she stepped into the hallway, going for her basement. On her way, movement caught her eye. Someo-

Her reflection.

From the deep purple bags under her eyes to her baggy clothes, all screamed neglected. Her eyes were bloodshot, she bit her nails bloody, her black hair was dull and greasy, and- her fucking roots were showing.

Again? I did them less than three months ago, they shouldn't-

But they should and they did.

She had used far more chakra these last two months than in all her time in Konoha. And chakra manipulation boosted the body, strengthening it and speeding up mitosis. Or at least, that was what her old Obaa-Sama, Sango Uzumaki, had told her.

Shaking her head, she headed into the basement where –lo and behold- a thirty layered seal was waiting for her on the ground.

She was confident in it, or at least, in the first few layers.

The base of the seal was composed of ten first layers. The four first layers were circled-shaped, all designed to make the seal, upon activation, self-sufficient. The following six were for stability, all square-shaped, -number four was the number of stability after all.

And at each corner, there was a seal. The Cooing Doves Seal associated with the Sea Turtle Seal regulated the chakra flows through the seal while the Brown Button Seal and the Cresting Waves Seal shared chakra evenly.

Then, it was the details.

She cheated at that point and slapped seals from Uzushio scrolls on it; the one that her grandmother made her promise she wouldn't use. Oh well, she was dead, it's not like she could do anything about it.

The primary objective of her seal was to send her back into her body about two months ago with, of course, all of her memories intact. So the following thirteen layers were concentrating on protecting the soul and her physical energy and tied them together. That way, because physical energy cannot be outside of the body, her own physical energy would lead her soul back to her body.

Which led to the last seven layers. The most difficult. They focused on the time-traveling part in itself and it took her two weeks to finish it. But she did it.

And the seal was done.

Once everything was in place and activated, her chakra would be converted into time.

The golden rule of fuinjutsu was to not use a seal without testing it first. But with this kind of seal, it was more a 'work or die' situation. You couldn't test it and she would not let someone else test it for her.

She would have to take the risk herself.

Hands put on the first layer, she evenly spread chakra. Her fingertips were cold, chakra leaving them faster than she intended and a shiver ran up her back.

She easily dismissed it.

But as she was filling the fourth layer, a small thought crossed her mind.

Did I write the time limit?

And in a moment of brief, uncontrolled, sheer terror, her entire plan failed before her eyes.

Her hands were glued to the ground, chakra siphoning out of her and into the seal, taking more and more until she felt lightheaded and sick.

She tried to inverse the flow, to disrupt the seal by sending parts of her remaining chakra into its center. In theory, it should have triggered the seal and as it wasn't entirely saturated with her energy, it would have... well, exploded but not as big as an explosion if the seal was full.

She could not stop it. It was too late. She had been reckless. She should have put in more layers; she should have created a way to stop the seal should she lose control.

Stupid!

A strange shiver shook her, instinct screaming full blast in her head.

She would have berated herself for that –because sealing is a dangerous art and you should always have a safety net should your seal malfunction unexpectedly.- if it wasn't for a dark purple hand with pointy black nails that pierced her stomach.

The room dropped below freezing temperature. She felt numb.

It wasn't the physical pain that made her scream. It was more the painful, ominous feeling of her soul being seized and ripped out of her body that did.

She choked on spit and blood, arms shaking, colors fading from her skin.

With her last strength, she raised glassy eyes, meeting the black sclera of her killer. Her heart missed some beats. Oh God, why was he here? She had never met him, but the description and horror stories her grandmother had told her about him could never compare to having the real thing in front of her.

She never felt that much terror in such a short time.

She screamed.

With a sneer, he cut the wire binding her soul to her body and her vision went black.

...

To be continued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Betaread by M1LTK3A
> 
> Maria: 紅 (mari) meaning "crimson, deep red"
> 
> Shisui did not deserve to die. This small bean should've been protected and cherished.
> 
> Anyway, how was it?
> 
> If some of you didn't get it, Maria is an Uzumaki and it's that secret that weighs so heavily on her heart. Is she in love with Shisui? Was it reciprocated? Did receiving his headband was a proof of his love? Who know?
> 
> You just have to understand that Shisui was really important to her.
> 
> And, Maria, just like every citizen of Konoha, does not know about Shisui real cause of death.
> 
> Also, big kudos and love to Cherfleur (who write the wonderful 'Tsundoku' (y'all should check that one out)) and laternenfisch ( her tumblr account that you should also check out (she draws and it's beautiful !)) for giving me so many ideas (some will be used in chapter 1).
> 
> And that's it. That's all I needed to say.
> 
> I'm out !


	2. Ironically alive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Maria wakes up... not as Maria anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 1 !
> 
> There are some curses in there.
> 
> Have fun !
> 
> Betaread (16/08/2020)

_ Chapter 1: Ironically alive. _

She stared into the black nothingness, weightless and bored. The black nothingness stared back.

Startled, Maria rubbed her eyes. What was that? Eyes? Tiny diamonds? There were things shining and disappearing. Weird.

A faulty seal. Her  _ own _ doing, her stupid carelessness.

That was all it took to kill her.

How the hell did she manage to summon the Soul Reaper?

The Soul Reaper was supposedly living in a different dimension, a veil separating the living from the dead. So she somehow tore it, seized the Reaper chilling there, and summoned it.

This experience had not been on her bucket list. And it didn't even cross her mind to put it there.

Basically, she had failed big time. Like a big, enormous fail of elephantine proportion.

She was dead. It was over.

Maria floated on her back, fingers interlaced on her stomach.

But what had happened to her seal after? Did it explode?

It usually was the fate of faulty seals; they exploded. That was why sealing was such a dangerous art; you could lose your fingers with only one bad stroke.

Did it erase itself after killing her?

She hoped so. Konoha's shinobi, while being the lesser evil, could not be trusted, especially not with such a dangerous seal.

There was a thing named backstabbing and it could happen very quickly. That was the reason the Uzumaki willingly taught them a watered-down version of their sealing.

How long has she been staring at nothing? A second, a few minutes, an hour, an eternity?

Maria sighed. Time has no meaning here, why bother?

Now that she thought about it, there was a saying that applied quite well for that situation: in sealing, once the theory is assimilated, imagination becomes the only limit. So, if a seal didn't work, the reason was either you didn't get the theory right or you weren't open-minded enough.

But that applies  _ only _ if you've mastered the Uzumaki's sealing art.

In her case, chances are she didn't get the theory well enough.

Time is confusing at best and gibberish at worst. A linear continuum of instants. Matters deteriorated, it lost energy and some elements disappeared. And going back in time would have meant restoring all of that to their initial states.

She must have failed to transcribe that in her seal. Which led her to... Well, her demise.

At least, she would see her sunny boy soon. She hoped her shitty grandma would never learn about it wherever she was in the afterlife. Or else…

She shivered. That damn old woman would kill Maria herself.

It was dark.

Wonderful. Alone in the dark. But she could still see the hand she put in front of her eyes.

...

Weird.

_ Is it really? Mari _ a blinked. Did that thought belong to her? It felt like an echo, reverberating everywhere and nowhere.  _ But it's nothingness, how is it possible? _

Weird.

_ Does it really matter? _ Probably not. It's not like it would impact her much any-

Her hand blurred. Maria laughed, shaking it. It was like her hand became mist, the more she shook it, the clearer it became. How funny.

_ Why would it impact me? _

The sudden thought froze her. What? Who? How? Maria blinked at the sudden lethargy that feel on her. Her limbs weighed so much. She could probably calculate it.

_ Yes, of course with the Pythagoras theorem. _

_ She _ was a genius.

She...? She, who...?

What was she anyway?

Maria frowned.

A human? A being? A living corpse? Multiple molecules? One molecule? An atom? A dump of chakra? The light? The sound? Stardust?

Nothing? The void? An old planet?

She felt young and old at the same time. Everything and nothing.

What was she?

She couldn't remember, her brain was mush, and she didn't try to, either. All that mattered was-

Darkness.

She was floating harmlessly in darkness, drifting away, alone with her thoughts. She didn't have the strength to move; it felt all too much effort. Just let her lay here.

She wasn't doing any wrong.

It was so comforting and warm and knowing she didn't need to hide anymore was so freeing.

_ Wait- _

Why was she hiding in the first place? And why was she here, anyway?

_ Whatever... _

She was content, being cocooned like a child in the embrace of his loving mother. It was calm, soundless, and timeless.

And then, the darkness  _ rippled _ .

Slightly at first, becoming far more pronounced as time passed before being torn apart. And a hand, a horrifyingly familiar purple hand with long black nails tore through darkness and – _ oh, god no _ -, she  _ remembered _ .

She was human,  _ alive dead  _ and that long, bony hand-

She just knew who it belongs to.

It wasn't that hard because it was the last thing she saw and–

_ What is it doing here?  _ She thought a little hysterically and very much terrified. She tried to move back, to run away but,  _ but- _

She couldn't.

And then, the  _ whole _ arm appeared, extending itself and crawling toward her, and the noiseless, tasteless, soundless void she was in was filled with grunt and growl and  _ she _ wasn't making these noises. And the arm kept coming closer, and closer and– _ oh god, no, no, no! _ \- she tried to move, uselessly kicking around and she asked and prayed the darkness to take her somewhere safe.

And it did.

Or it tried to do as small tendrils of black curled around her limbs like tiny octopus tentacles, pushing back and away from the horrible, nightmare-inducing hand. But it wasn't enough, especially not when the whole freaking Soul Reaper just crawled in until the waist, a snarl showing pointy teeth plastered on his face.

_ Shit _ was all she could think before it – _ he? _ \- snatched her and it felt like she exploded, her atoms were all but pulling her in different directions.

She was on fire.

And then, a bright as hell light just burned her eyes and she couldn't open them anymore. Sounds fell in deafened ears like she was underwater.

Her body felt weak and constricting and terrified.  _ What's happening? _

Her lungs filled themselves harshly and painfully with air and-  _ oh god _ she was breathing.

She felt absolutely, completely  ** _alive_ ** .

_ What? WHaT? _

Heart stomping against her chest, head pounding, she felt herself being moved, shifted, and held before being put down against something warm and less clammy.  _ Clammy? _

She felt gross and terrified and fragile.

_ What is happening?! WHAT'S HAPPENING!? _

Back to being held and presented and finally, FINALLY, her ears cleared with a pop. A baby was wailing somewhere and-  _ Wait _ .

_ She _ was wailing too.

_ Oh, God _ .

And-

"What a strong, beautiful girl you just made, Kazashi-san." A deep voice rumbled near her. "She'll make the clan proud. I know it."

_ No- _

A breathless feminine voice answered. "Thank you, Ashina-sama."

She cried.

"Welcome home, Nagisa Uzumaki."

She  _ screamed _ .

During days and nights, she cried, worrying the woman that was her new mother. She screamed her anger, wailed her pain, sobbed her homesickness, and slept her longing away.

She had to grieve.

For she had been reborn in the body of another Uzumaki and had lost all of her anchors.

The Uzumaki.

A strong clan of shinobi whose sealing jutsu abilities was greatly feared among their peers. A clan that believed itself to be on top of the world, only they received a harsh wake-up call and ended up eaten by those they deemed below.

They disappeared right before the Third Shinobi War struck.

The remaining Uzumaki all went into hiding, living in fear of being discovered. She knew that; the cold, jittering terrors, the prickling sensation of being watched, the paranoia, the lies, and deception, she  _ lived _ through that.

As they became an uncommon sight, a rarity, the twisted minds of the traffickers reeled. A rarity with uncommon abilities? A whisper here, a smile there and every wealthy wanted one. Their prices skyrocketed and the hunt began.

It was common knowledge.

So why the hell had she been proudly proclaimed an Uzumaki? Again? Didn't she suffer enough the first time?

Being branded an Uzumaki was dangerous, akin to a curse, one that would follow you all your life. Safety was a long-forgotten word for the Uzumaki, just survival.

Her mind reeled when it happened to her, for the _second_ _time_.

She didn't understand. Why would you do that to your child, your flesh and blood?

And with her being a baby – _ a baby! _ -, she couldn't do much except sleeping, grumbling, and seeing blobs of colors.

Red was the most common. It was on the crib, on the ground, and in the woman's hair.

_ What the heck is happening? _

To survive as a baby with an adult soul, one has to forget about pride: you're dependent on someone, like a real living, screaming log.

_ Humiliating. _

And let's not talk about the betrayal of her body or else she might throw a hissy fit. Bowel control? In your dream. Breastfeeding? You got it. Also-

She screamed.

Her vision started to clear somewhere during the third month of her new life. Or what she assumed was the third month. Time was a strange concept for a baby, slippery as fuck, so she tried to keep track of the day with the cold chakra.

It was strange, Maria has never been a sensor and yet, she could feel chakra now. It was new. She had a new sense that added a new dimension, a new meaning to the world. All of her senses were thrown off.

There were two chakras inside the house: a warm and airily one and a cold and smooth one. The warm one belonged to the woman, her mother. She was always at her side, answering to her every whim, showing her the house with a low, melodious voice –but woman, she couldn't see. What's the point?- and singing. There was a lot of singing involved and every time it put her to sleep.

Like really,  _ every time _ . A song. Maria is out.

The cold chakra that must belong to her father was rarely in the house. It had happened once that she woke up to the feeling of cold chakra in her room and something warm pressed on her cheek but it was leaving the moment she was fully awake.

It was morning; she was four-month-old and the room she was in was made of stones. Not of wood, like everywhere in the Fire country,  _ of stones _ .

She frowned, puzzled.

Where was she?

Her mother's chakra stirred in response to her own waking up. She heard a groan then the slow clap of feet against stones before she appeared in her vision. Startled at first at finding her in her crib not fussing but focusing, a slow and tired smile graced her lips, lighting her face up.

"Good morning, Nagisa-chan. Slept well?"

_ Feed me, woman _ .

Talking while being a baby was the biggest tongue twister of the world. She knew the words; She knew how to pronounce them and yet, she could not say them. So she just babbled in answer.

"You're talkative this morning." She said before humming a song.

Resting in her arms like she was, Nagisa could distinguish smaller details, like the freckles on her mother's cheeks or the golden specks in her dark blue eyes.

They moved together and then she put her down on a baby blue blanket.

Nagisa wouldn't have it.  _ I'm tired to look at the ceiling for fuck's sake. _

So she wiggled out of the burrito blanket she was cocooned in and turned her ridiculously heavy head.  _ So tiring. _

What appeared to be a living room was merely decorated. There was blue and there was red, there were painting and sea-shells, stones and glasses –colored glasses-; there was a table, a sofa, and a kitchen. And there was the thrumming of chakra everywhere. It was faint, but the woman –her mother's chakra was saturating the air.

_ Seals, _ she thought.  _ Her seals, everywhere _ .

But there was no trace of cold chakra. Like he didn't live here.  _ How strange- _

The woman was back hardly two minutes later, a fond exasperated expression on her face, eyes twinkling with love and her baby bottle in hand.

_ Food! _

It wasn't hard to call her Kaa-san.

She never had one in her past life. Her parents died protecting Uzushio and winning time for baby her and her grandmother to leave the island.

And Maria quite liked the woman anyway.

She was gentleness and warmth, had a really lovely voice and she would always do the silly voices when she read to her.

Some weeks later, she rolled on her own and the quest to crawl began.

She woke up in tears, the nightmare of a clan massacre, a boy with curly hair and a sunny smile and a purple hand still lingering in her memories.

The hands that slipped under her body and lifted her out of the crib startled her so much she squeaked. Heart beating furiously, she let out an almost-sob-but-not-yet and prepared to scream but the feeling of cold chakra against her back dissuaded her.

Still, she cried a bit in the man's chest, a deep rumbling trying to soothe her.

Nagisa blinked. Once, twice before her face settled in a puzzled expression.

It was the first time she saw more than a glimpse of his face. He had dark circles under his eyes, seafoam eyes, a young face -perhaps older than Kaa-san- but the most striking was his deep crimson hair.

He had red hair, just like her mom. He was an Uzumaki too?

_ Two Uzumaki parents...? _

She was deeply fucked if words got out. A pureblood Uzumaki.  _ Great _ .

Faced with her startled face, and perhaps mistaking it for something else, he said. "Nagisa-chan, I'm your Tou-san, Daichi Uzumaki."

_ Daichi. _

…

_ Then who the hell is Ashina? _

A week after, she told her first word, 'Kwaa-sah' as she offered a mostly toothless smile and her mother shed a tear, beaming with joy and warmth. Her smile was the prettiest.

Less than a month later, she took her first step before promptly eating the ground.

Her father missed all of her firsts.

It was around that time that Nagisa finally took her first stroll out.

She whined and fussed as her mother tried to put a third coat on her. Damn, she was excited to go outside and her mother kept retarding them.  _ Hurry up! _

Frustration built inside her.

"No!" She blurted in anger, wailing her arms. She could barely move her arms.  _ It's too warm already, enough! _

Her mother kept trying.

"It's freezing outside my little angelfish, you need to put your coat."

The Uzumaki were known for their vitality and health dammit. She had played in the snow when she had been only six years old with merely a coat and she hadn't caught a cold. She would be fine!

"No!"

Kazashi's mouth fell open as her own hair raised in anger before doubling over. "And Daichi was afraid you were too meek... You've inherited the Uzumaki temper just fine." She wiped some tears, her smile turning sharp, hair filled with chakra curling around her, almost suffocating her.  _ Oh, oh _ . "However, this is not how you talk to your mother, young lady!"

_ ... Scary... _

She quickly nodded and took her third layer.

Her mother smiled, satisfied as she took her in her arms. Nagisa, a disgruntled starfish, drooled in her hair in revenge.

No one said she couldn't be petty about it.

The outside was stony, colorful, and flowery.

The paths were paved, the houses, in stones, and timber with colored woods. There were arches made of copper stone and heavily decorated pillars that held flowers trays high in the sky.

Gates of red littered the main road, pillars of wood carved and etched with black and gold inks. Swirls, curls, and straight lines.

Red, black, and gold, the colors of the Uzumaki, were the dominant colors in Uzushio. Vibrant green and blue, here and there, like specks of dust, added life.

Salt, faint flowers, and that stench that characterized the streets no matter where you live all but mixed in her nose, the bitter smell of cold burning her nostrils.

Some windows were partially covered in frost; the stones were shiny, like billions of tiny diamonds spilled on the ground. Yet vegetation still strived.

"Kaa-san." She pointed at a small square with big interrogating eyes.

She could still not articulate well and it was so frustrating.

Speaking was one of the most basic needs of humans. Hell, the very first reflex of babies was to cry, to make a sound, to communicate their distress. The only thing that a baby could do was communicate one simple but incredibly fundamental message:  _ help _ . Communicating was, if not the most, an important need.

And she couldn't do that. The muscles in her face, her tongue, and the mack of most of her teeth forbad her from doing so.

She inched their way toward a small garden square before stopping right at the entrance. It was mesmerizing in a colorful way. It wasn't pretty, just colorful and it was enough to captivate her.

Kazashi hummed in her ear, before shifting her hold.

"Do you see the small scribble on the fence? It's a seal. Once we step inside the garden." She walked inside and heat washed over her. "It's warm. That way we can keep the flower pretty."

Nagisa ooohed.

Their house was on the side of a mountain with no neighbor in front, high enough she could see the shore and the copper rocks below and near the biggest building she has ever seen –bigger than Konoha Hokage's tower.

And what a building.

As large as three whales and whiter than the snow, it was painful looking at it.

Two perfectly symmetrical squared buildings were stuck together, with acting like the glue, a big tower looking like a lighthouse with its bubble-shaped roof and  _ a huge _ bell. Right at the entrance, two small colorful gardens were neatly arranged.

But the most important remained what she could  _ feel _ . It was vibrating with chakra, wild and untamed, familiar, and radiating in such a big amount that Nagisa could choke on it.

She squirmed in discomfort.

"Are you okay, angelfish?" Voice soft and worried, her mother gave her a concerned look.

Nagisa nodded firmly.

No way she would give her mother a reason to bring her back inside.

"All right." Kazashi took them near the side of the mountain.

A little below was the roof of a house. And even below was another. And again and again, until the houses reached the side of a river.

From what she could gather, the village, town, island? had been constructed following an idea of encased rings: at the base of the mountain, the largest ring of houses then the higher you reached, the smaller the ring became.

_ So if I'm near the top, does that mean I'm a part of the important people? A noble? Or is there no such thing here? _

Nagisa frowned, finally focusing on the people below. There were a lot of colors, with red the most present.  _ How- _

It didn't look like Kaze no Kuni, where she knew most of the red hair comes from, as it has no border with the sea.

Someone jumped on a roof before sprinting - _ shinobi? _ \- and leaping away on the houses below.

Somewhere, a loud 'bang' detonated.

_ Wha- _

Nagisa flailed startled tears in her eyes. An explosion? Where they at war? Why no one was running? What is happening? Wha-

Her mother was the picture of ease.

Why wasn't she reacting? Did she not hear the sound? Was her mother deaf?

She yanked the red strands, capturing her attention.

"What is it, Nagisa-chan?"

Because she couldn't quite explain what was happening without using complex words that she most definitely should not know. She went for the easy course: "Boom!"

Kazashi  _ stared  _ before it finally dawned on her.

"Oh! That's what startled you?" She chuckled, "I don't even hear them anymore. It's just someone playing, angelfish, no need to worry."

Someone playing with an explosive? What the hell was wrong with these people? Where was she anyway?

"Nagisa-chan, look." She said, pointing at the sea. "Do you see the ripples on the surface?"

She squinted, finding difficulty to swallow, heart beating uncomfortably in her chest. The wind suddenly picked, sending strands of red hair flying in front of them. The sun was casting a warm golden glow on the blue-green sea, making it shines like jewelry.

She saw it.  _ Them _ . As in the multiple, enormous things that were definitely not just ripples and promised death and a huge headache to come.

Swirling continuously, clashing against each other in a deadly dance that vowed salt and drowning, the whirlpools were giant, as big as the size of the building behind her.

Dread pooled in her guts, alarm bells ringing in her head.

"It's our most famous protection: the whirlpools." She explained, kind eyes boring into hers.

_ Oh my god- Don't tell me. _

"It's also from them we got our name, the Uzumaki." She continued, a wild smile slowly making it ways on her lips.  _ Uzumaki, the whirlpools _ ...

_ YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING M- _

"They have been protecting our land, Uzushio, for centuries."

Nagisa felt like throwing up.

She was in Uzushio.

And because her emotions were hard-wired to her tear ducts, she burst into tears.

Hiccupping with bleary eyes, Nagisa snuggled deeper in her mother's chest, half hoping she would not have to affront reality and half wanting to die, while Kazashi hurried somewhere.

Her seal worked.

Kinda.

It did its primary job, which was, sending her in the past but the details were mixed and she had been sent in Uzushio while the Uzumaki were still thriving and-

_ Oh god _ , her seal  _ worked _ .

But because she did not give a time limit, the seal took all her chakra and converted it in the number of years to send her back. This was her fault, she had been forgetful.

And because she had probably neglected the interaction between the Sheltered Crane seal - to protect her soul - and the Growing Seaweed - for her body -, her soul was somehow reaped from her body –which explained the apparition of the Soul Reaper- before being slammed down into a new body. She may have neglected so many other interactions that might have resulted in her being here.

Her head was spinning.

But then, all was not lost. She could try it again, going forward this time, and save her sunny boy. She could change it. Because if she was in Uzushio then Shisui was most definitely not born; she had been four years older after all.

But wouldn't that affect this timeline? She knew nothing about this Nagisa Uzumaki. Well, she knew about one Nagisa Uzumaki, her grandmother's older sister who fought alongside the Senju, but Nagisa was a fairly popular name, it could be anyone.

What if this Nagisa had saved someone important, like… The Yondaime's parents or whatever? No Yondaime meant the Kyubi attack would be successful, which meant that Shisui might die regardless.

But living as Nagisa will automatically change the future, right? Because with her knowledge, she's bound to not take the same course of action.

_ Ugh, it's such a drag. What I'm going to do? _

Well, right now, nothing. She would have to wait, getting older was the principal objective. Then, she would plot.

_ Uzushio... _ Mind officially blown.

She took the place of someone else's soul and her actions may impact the future. And by fooling around with seals beyond her understanding, she created a new past.

Wonderful.

She really fucked up.

Let's just hope Nagisa Uzumaki did not lead a glorious life because she might not live it up.

It would be hard but Nagisa –previously Maria - would roll with it. She had too.

She opened her eyes on an unfamiliar brown ceiling, chakra searching her mother's.  _ Weird. _ She didn't remember falling asleep. Seems like her earlier outburst tired her far more than she thought.

She felt her mother nearby alongside another unknown yet kind of familiar chakra. It was warm, just like her mother but far more subdued, like caged.

She stirred before eyeing the room she was in. There were jewels everywhere. On a shelf, on a wooden sculpture, stuck on the ceiling and even on the ground. Her head was spinning.

So pretty. So much money.

Upon nearing the pretty things, what appeared to be chips of gems revealed to be seashells and sea glass. Beautiful, colorful seashells all carefully crafted together on a bone comb. It was shining; it was colorful.

She just  _ had _ to touch it.

Carefully exploring it with her hand, she gingerly examined a particularly pretty pink and white shell with tiny black spirals inked on it. That was until her nail caught the underside of said shell and it fell off.

_ Oh no _ .

And like the domino effect, all the other ornaments followed suit until she was only holding a simple bone comb.

_ Oh no! _

Eyes the double of their size, starting to sweat bullets, Nagisa flailed.

_ Shit, shit, shit. _

Trying to put everything back was useless: it wouldn't stick and her chubby hands were clumsy, she just couldn't do it.

_ What do I do? I just ruined someone's work and- _

The door in her back opened. Nagisa stiffened.  _ Oh no- _

"Little angelfish? What's happening? I felt your panic."

Trying to not look too sheepish, Nagisa slowly turned toward her mother, -she was the adult, she could repair it- showing her the comb.

Except, there was not just her mother at the doorstep.

She was far thicker, older, and smaller than her mother with a kind, amused smile, and wrinkles that showed she had lived a thrilling life.

Nagisa froze, face whitening.

The woman laughed, bright eyes shining mischievously. "She may have her father look but this side, she got it from you, Kaza-chan."

Kazashi rolled her eyes in the back of the woman who kneeled in front of her.

"Hello little Nagisa, I'm Kasa-chan, your Obasan." She whispered before taking the comb from her chubby fingers. "And don't worry about that."

She took the two prettiest seashells –the pink one and a blue one- and put them on the two ends side of the comb and just like magnets all the other ornaments just flew to the comb.

_ Holy sh- That's fantastic! _

Kasa laughed at her bewildered face. "It was a courting gift from your grandfather and as you can see, he didn't have much taste."

Nagisa didn't answer; she actually thought the comb to be quite beautiful.

"Can I hold you, Nana-chan?" asked her grandmother.

Nagisa just raised her arms in answer, a little bashful. She seemed kind and Nagisa loved to snuggle.

Being held by Kasa differed from being held by her mom, she just was far more comfier. Where her mother was sharpness, muscles, and bones, her grandmother was smoothness, fat, and warmth. And the red hair that she immediately took hold of was a really deep red that was nothing like her mother.

"How old is she again?" She asked, moving them into the room next door.

"Nine months." Her mother answered evenly.

_ Wait. Nine months? _ She thought she was only six.  _ Woah, where did the three months I missed go? _

"I see." They exchanged a look. "You were right in saying she was aware. Do you think-"

"No." Her mother cut in abruptly. "They won't."

Her grandmother didn't look convinced but relented. "If you say so."

Nagisa gritted her teeth. She didn't know what they were talking about and they kept referring to something that they both refused to state out loud, which was incredibly frustrating. Especially considering the fact they were talking about her.

By an unspoken agreement, both decided to talk about something else, the neighbor's marriage with an outsider and other things that Nagisa drown out, attention wandering on the room. It reminded her of the sea.

There were shells, sand, corals, and blue. A lot of blue.

They chatted for what seemed like days before her mother carried her home.

"Are you happy to have met your Obasan, little angelfish?"

"Yeah." She mumbled sleepily against her shoulder. "T'was nice."

A quiet rumble shook her mother's chest.

Nagisa fell asleep.

"Kaa-san, what are you doing?"

Kazashi – her mother, bronzed skin, muscly hourglass body, and blue eyes - stopped her humming and raised her head from the paper she was working on. Next to her, on the table made of stone, was a huge pile of paper that was higher than her.

Once her gaze was on her, she lifted her hands in the internationally known up sign.

"I'm sealing." She answered, a tired smile on her face but she still picked her up and sat her on her knees. Immediately, her eyes glued themselves on her work.

_ Explosive tag, uh? _

Her old Obaa-sama always told her that a fuinjutsu work explained a lot about a person. It was all in the strokes. And her mother's strokes were… firm, assured, she knew what she was doing. The kanji were neatly separated and her calligraphy was beautiful. All screamed professionalism, confidence, and love.

She saw the last one in her eyes.

"It's part of a wider and far older art that is said to be created by the Uzumaki: the Fuinjutsu."

And like the dutiful clueless child, she was supposed to be, she asked back. "What is Fuinjutsu?"

"Fuinjutsu is a category of jutsus that gives power to words. It's divided into two main branches: the sealing, named Fuin and the controlling, Juuin."

"Juuin?"

Kazashi nodded, a gentle smile gracing her lips. Her mother looked unabashedly proud of her interest, eyes twinkling. "See it as imposing your will. You write what happens to the target then it'll do whatever you want."

Her head was spinning. Imposing her will? She never knew she could do that.

"What can we do with Juuin?"

"The Juuin no Jutsu." She started, petting her hair. "Once your target is tagged, you can give or take chakra or immobilize them. Your grandfather, Ashina-sama, is adept at it. He is said to give death even from far away, all because of these seals." Her fingers reached down her jaw before cupping her cheeks. "But beware, these seals are very chakra expensive and far beyond everyone reaches."

Nagisa nodded small tendrils of red moving in and out of her face.

"Fuin no Jutsu, on the other hand, is significantly less consuming and solely based on seals created by formulas, kanji, and hiragana." A pause. She then added, "Everyone on this island knows the art of Fuin no Jutsu."

"Everyone?" A bit of her bewilderment must have swept in her tone because her mother smirked.

"Everyone." She confirmed. "They just didn't deepen the knowledge enough."

_ The civilians…? _

Kazashi turned her back, positioning her right in front of a clay tablet before giving her the stick. "Unwavering strokes are needed for Fuin no Jutsu. So you must start early if you want to become a sealing master."

And until Nagisa yawned, they together worked on her writing.

She knew how to write before she knew how to run.

Something like a routine settled between the two, she would wake up, her mother would feed her then she was left alone to play with toys and books on the ground while Kazashi made seals. Then they would work together on her writing, writing kanji and hiragana on the clay tablet. Then back to eating.

The afternoon began with her walking around, building some muscles – being a baby, while it was cool because everyone carried you everywhere, was unnerving if, just like Nagisa, you loved being independent -, they would then take a stroll outside.

She would always end up a bit freak out by the number of red hair she was seeing everywhere and the sheer amount of  _ stairs _ . They were everywhere and so damn long. It was going to be a bitch and a half once she became older.

During the warmer day, they went to the beach and Nagisa could experience how little balance she had on the sand. She tripped and ate sand countless times under the laughing gazes of hundreds of citizens as, with the warmer days coming, the beach was crowded.

She learned so much about life in Uzushio.

Uzushio was very community-centered.

Feasts and parties where everyone brought something, redistribution of used objects to the poor and sick, charity and bartering as another means of payment.

The island was always buzzing with activities; there were street vendors who screamed at top of their lungs and deeply tanned fishermen with gleaming eyes who sang with deep raucous voices like the roar of the sea. There were mischievous children who loved to dunk each other in the sea, dancers practicing their art everywhere, music, and laughter.

And the noise…

If it wasn't music, street vendors, or children, it was the loud, bone-rattling explosions or some noisy jutsus.

Uzushio was never quiet and she never realized it - her mother soundproofed their house.

But she loved it. It was strange, it felt so…  _ Alive _ .

Uzushio was not only composed of the Uzumaki clan.

There were civilians who sought shelter after their village had been destroyed and the smaller clans, like the Daiba clan, a clan of pearl divers who've perfected jutsus that allowed them to hold their breath longer, who thrived better on an island. Sometimes, merchants were allowed on Uzushio to trade but it usually was the other way around: their merchants went on land to sell their products.

Life in Uzushio, though, was mostly governed by the Uzumaki.

Not everyone lived on the island. Further away, half-way between the whirlpools and the shore, wooden platforms were carefully built all-around Uzushio and on each was a family protecting its. It was their second protective barrier, should the whirlpools fail to keep the danger away, it was up to those families to protect Uzushio. A sign of privilege, only families deemed trustworthy by the Uzu-leader were given this task.

The leader of the second protective unit was an Uzumaki, son of the clan leader.

Nagisa watched from the beach the arrival of the ship of the fishermen with a smile.

The dock was crowded to welcome the men and women home. Sometimes it felt like they were hailed as heroes.

During half a year, the fishermen of Uzushio indulged in whale-hunting and would be back for Benten-hime's day, where a huge feast would be thrown and most excess would be tolerated for the day.

Last year, Kazashi missed it because surprise, surprise, she was a summer baby –unlike the first time-, born the 21 of June. And in less than a month, she would turn one.

Nagisa rushed back to her mother, ready to leave the beach.

Daichi met them on their way back, on the harbor. He was talking to a tanned man with hair as red as him, something akin to a smile on his lips. They separated with a loud tap on the shoulder.

It was that day she understood Daichi belonged to the important people. Everyone greeted him and called him 'Daichi-sama'. Some even called her 'Nagisa-hime'.

She had been so overwhelmed she cried.

It may or may not have embarrassed her father, but at least they got home faster.

After the stroll, Nagisa would take a small nap. But she stopped falling asleep immediately, so she usually played with her chakra, trying to reach it and feeling it circulate inside of her until she fell asleep.

While it wasn't cold like her father, it wasn't warm either. There was a coolness in her hara, something intangible and moving, flowing. Something she just couldn't catch, seeping through her hands.

When nap time was over, Nagisa and Kazashi would cuddle against one another while she taught her the kanji and hiragana.

Finally, she would be settled on the counter, watching her mother cook while she bugged her with questions.

...

What can she say, she has always been a curious child.

Her first birthday took her by surprise: she had received far more gifts than she expected.

Like  _ tons _ .

This led to a question: had she other family members? Because that's far too much for only the three people she had met.

"Kaa-san, do you have siblings ?" She asked as she opened another pink baby blanket. Ugh, so much pink.

"No," her mother began, "I'm an only daughter."

Then who?

Her question must have been written on her face because Kazashi laughed. "It's from your father's side, it's quite a big family. Perhaps, if you ask nicely, your tou-san will bring you with him to meet them. You could thank them too."

_ Ask Daichi…? _

That promised to be fun.

Her dad came home early today.

Was it because of her birthday? The answer would be written off in the century's mystery book.

He even patted her head and kissed her forehead for her birthday.

Her heart did something funny and her stomach twisted while warmth invaded her cheeks. Was she that much a sucker for his attention? Looked like the answer was yes.

But she didn't let that divert her from her aim. Small hands on her hips, wobbly legs firmly planted in the ground, she adopted a business look: looking squared into his eyes, lips a thin line and squinting. She was sure it looked ridiculous on her baby face but he had to understand she meant business. She wasn't there to laugh into the sunset; she would get what she wanted.

"Tou-san, tomorrow, I go with you." Daichi cocked a brow, unimpressed.

"No."

"But!" She raised her arms before turning to her mom, pleading her case with her eyes.  _ Help me, I don't know how to talk to him _ . "Please, tou-san, I'll be good."

Of course, Daichi was immunized to the puppy eyes; it wouldn't be challenging otherwise.

"What she's trying to say is that she wants to meet your side of the family." Intervened her kaa-san.

"Yes." She nodded sagely.

He barely glanced her way, eyes boring into her mom's before a long-suffering sigh slipped out. "This is the last time I bow down to your whim."

Nagisa frowned.

Her mother simply smiled. "It's for your daughter."

Being awakened by Daichi was a strange change. He didn't hover above her with a sunny smile and sparkling eyes, he shook her awake and took her to the kitchen while she was still not awake. After waiting for a few seconds for Nagasi to fully emerge, her mother gave her food –some fried fish with rice- that she stubbornly ate alone.

Daichi was eyeing her strangely, noting her every move before turning to her kaa-san with a strange glint.

Something was as fishy as the fried fish she was currently destroying. But she was too hungry to ponder on it.

It was well-known that hungry equals unable to think.

She was making a mess. But it was amusing her mother and her, so she didn't care all that much.

After breakfast, it was just a matter of getting cleaned up and clothed –and she was happy to not wear the pink kimono she had been gifted the day before- before she waited for her father at the door.

"Enjoy your day, angelfish." Her mother smiled, reaching down to caress her chubby cheek. And then, they were off.

Outside, he presented her his hand, expecting her to grab it and walk alongside.

_ As if. _ She almost snorted.

Instead, she just raised her arms. They stared at each other and probably stayed like that for a good minute, neither wanting to back down. Nagisa was even starting to scold.

And then, he relented. "You're not as agreeable as I expected, Nagisa-chan."

Nagisa grinned. "I'm an Uzumaki."

Her father snorted. He.  _ Snorted _ . She never thought she would see him do that. It blew her mind.

"That you are."

Nagisa was pleased with herself so far, despite having been woken up at the crack of dawn, her day looked to be promising.

They shared a comfortable silence for the rest of their way… up. She blinked at Daichi.

_ Up? _

Up was where only the big building thrumming with chakra was, down was where everything was, the street vendors, the fishermen, the artists, the ropemakers, and so on.

Nagisa unconsciously tilted her head and squinted as if she was faced with the greatest mystery of this world before shrugging.

Her father knew what he was doing.

Being in front of the big building was something else. It all but screamed fancy with its whiter than white stones and it’s blacker than black tiles. Even the ground was not your average stone; it was  _ marble _ .

To enter the fancy building, they had to cross a hedge of colored pillars and a garden of odorous flowers that should not have been blooming during this season if it wasn't for the thousands of seals scattered around.

She knew that when the Uzumaki did things; it wasn't half-assed. They had more a 'go big or go home' kind of mentality.

And if she thought the chakra building was overwhelming from where they lived, up close, it was even worse. She squirmed in discomfort and tried to wrap her small chakra around her, hoping it would act as a barrier.

It didn't.

Her father jolted, attention zeroing on her.

"Nagisa, what did you just do?"

"It feels," she started, somewhat startled "hard to breathe."

It was like breathing water, hard and borderline painful.

Disbelief painted his face before he let out in a small breathy voice. "You're a sensor."

A strange flame ignited in his eyes.

Nagisa did not like it.

"You won't be that overwhelmed inside," he added, the ghost of a smile on his face "The stones are a bit chakra absorbent."

Nagisa hummed.

Inside, it wasn't as bad, just like Daichi said, a bit cold, a bit dark, a bit too quiet. Nagisa watched with some interest. Unlike the rest of the island, the inside wasn't colorful or even decorated, just plain naked walls.

They walked for what seemed minutes before he stopped, hold tightening. While still being relaxed, her father felt stiffed, tensed.

Footsteps.

Nagisa perked up. People were coming their way.

"Oh, Dai-chan!" A woman with deep dark red hair tucked in a lovely kimono with turtles on it, raised her free arm, beaming. In the other, she held a small bundle. "It's been so long, 'ttebare."

At her side, the tall man – taller than her father - with a scar crossing his face – from his left temple to his right cheek - simply nodded.

"And look at you," the woman pinched her cheek, "what a beautiful little girl you are."

Putting a hand on her cheek, trying to soothe the mild pain, she watched the woman with wide eyes.

_ What the hell... _

"Dai-chan, you should've presented her a long time ago." She tutted with faux annoyance.

Her father sighed. "Mizu, Namiyo, this is my daughter, Nagisa-chan. Nagisa-chan, this is my brother, Namiyo, and his wife Mizu." He shifted his hold. "Happy?"

His tone was different, a bit deeper, a bit gentler than she was used to and he didn't use a suffix for either of them. You don't use one only if you know very well the other.

The excitable woman was far too happy to really care. She turned to her again, a big grin on her lips.

"Nagisa-chan, nice to meet you! You can call me Auntie Mizu if you want. Say, did you like the kimono? Oh, look! Nagisa-chan, Dai-chan, this is my bundle of joy, Mito-chan."

Mizu was firing questions and sentences one after the others without taking a breath, swaying from time to time. Nagisa was almost afraid she would collapse at some point.

Nagisa gasped, peering inside the burrito. "She's so little!"

The baby wasn't ugly, per se. It was just red and chubby, like really chubby.

Mizu nodded eagerly. "Isn't she? She's only a month old."

"We should go Mizu, you're still recovering after all." Namiyo interrupted.

Mizu frowned, "But…" She glanced at them.

"And Mito will need to eat soon." Namiyo added, "You'll talk another time, alright?"

"Okay," she relented, "Dai-chan, Nagisa-chan, see you soon!"

"It was nice meeting you, Nagisa-chan. Let's hope you and Mito will become good friends."

Nagisa nodded dumbly, too dazzled to do much more.

And they were gone in a flurry of red hairs and gibberish squeals.

"Tou-san, how many siblings do you have?" She asked after assuring herself they would not turn around.

"Seven."

She spluttered, all but shoving her seven fingers in his face. "Seven? Like that?"

"Yes but that's eight." He answered evenly. Ah, she would've to work on her coordination.

But that explained things, mainly all the gifts.

"Are they all as excitable as she is?"

"Thankfully, no."

Apparently, her father worked in the big building. He had an office in there with one really soft looking couch that she immediately claimed as hers. She was right in that spot where the sun warmed her and if she closed her eyes like she just did, listening intently to Daichi going through scrolls, she will…

She woke up disoriented and a bit too warm.

Her father was gone, but she had gained a blanket in between.

And obviously, no one told Daichi how bad of an idea it was to leave your little girl who can more or less walk on her own, alone. It was asking for problems.

She could stay in the office, but…  _ Boooriiing _ . Or she could explore on her own.

She was out before you could say 'cat'.

Exploring as a toddler meant that everything seemed bigger and scarier than it was. Being pint-sized and weak did that to you.

Her legs threatened to give out from underneath her after scouring the palace for hours –or what it felt like- and she still found nothing interesting, except for big stairs that she did not want to use.

But, as she turned an umpteen corner, she found a big garden with only white flowers and some kind of fountain where she could catch her breath.

The flowers were pretty, and she almost gave in to the urge of touching them if it wasn't for the voice that spoke in her back.

"And what a child like you is doing in my garden?"

Nagisa shrieked, startled tears forming in her eyes and flailing a bit. She turned so fast, she slipped and ended on her rear.

"And quite clumsy."

The old man staring at her over his white mustache was not amused. "So? Speak up." And his chakra… It was like being caught in a net, every movement you make would only entangle you more.

Was it legal to bully a toddler? Pretty sure it wasn't. Or it shouldn't. Did he even know she was only a year old?

With her emotions all over the place, she could only mutter "Tou-san."

Damn, was she regretting her decision right now? Yes, she was.

"And who is your Tou-san?"

_ Come on, give that child a break… _

"Daichi."

His whole demeanor changed, he relaxed and his chakra came back to him.

"Oh? You're little Nagisa?"

How did he know her name in the first place? She nodded, wary.

"I'm Uzumaki Ashina, your grandfather." He kneeled in front of her. "But you have no reason to be here." And he took her in his arms.

She shouldn't let a stranger carry her in his arms like that. He may claim to be her grandfather but until her father confirmed it, she couldn't relax.

He stepped in an office across the garden. It was huge, just like his beard. And there was a mountain of scrolls waiting on the brown desk.

He smelled like paper and ink and he was warm. His hair was making some oddly clicks that she just had to know why. So she petted it, but only for scientific purposes. Not because she had some strange urge to satisfy.

It was beads, she realized once she was sure he wouldn't scold her, it was the tiny white braids with beads at the end that clicked together. His whole hairstyle was thin braids with beads.

The beads fascinated her. Turning it this way and that, appreciating the cool feeling of the little drawing carved in it under her thumb.

The man chuckled, a hand-warming her back as he sat down. "You're just like your father. He, too, was fascinated by my beads when he was little."

"The little drawing feels funny." She explained.

He threw his head back, letting a loud laugh out. "Drawing… Those are seals, child."

_ Of fucking course. Carved seals beads. _ Why didn't she think about it?

"But do you know why I have so many?"

She shook her head, puzzled.

"They represent my shinobi age: a bead for every year I survived as a shinobi."

And with his hair full of beads-  _ Holy shit. He's the real deal, a veteran _ . Her mouth fell open.

"Baah… It's an old tradition that only my eldest seemed to follow nowadays. Ichigo." Someone appeared in a burst of smoke in her back. She jumped. "Alert Daichi that his daughter is with me."

"By your command, Leader-sama."

She needed a moment to proceed with that. At some point, he shifted his hold to free both hands and so, she was draped across his chest, head pressed against his heartbeat, trying to really process everything.

_ Boum-boum. _

_ Are you kiddin- _

_ Boum-boum. _

_ Why? _

_ Boum-boum. _

_ Why was I reborn as the granddaughter of Uzushio's leader? _

It only occurred to her later, once her father brought her back after a good scolding, that she did not thank any of them.

But she learned quite a bit about her father.

He was the fourth child of Ashina Uzumaki and he had seven siblings. Two –the third and the seventh- died. The rest were still alive.

She only met two siblings that day: his older brother Namiyo – the second - and his younger sister Aki – the fifth.

The eldest, Kazuo was busy creating alliances for Uzushio on land in exchange for seals while the sixth – Kaï - was the leader of the platform barrier unit. Rina, the youngest, was the free spirit of the family, wild and untamable; she couldn't be tied anywhere. No one really knew where she was, just that she was roaming the land of Fire and was alive.

"Kaa-san, why Nagisa?"

She was almost two now and fully in control of her limbs. She didn't trip anymore!

Haha, she  _ wished _ .

Her mother stopped humming and turned to catch her as she proceeded to trip over nothing, trying to approach her.

Her hairs were down today, dancing around her frame with each movement she made. Nagisa took a handful. Grabbing everything she could reach was a baby instinct she still couldn't get over.

But she liked her mother's hair. They felt soft between her chubby fingers and her red was far less bright than her own.

"You want to know why we named you Nagisa?" Bright blue eyes peering into hers, a gentle smile tugging on her lips, she tilted her head in wonder.

She nodded.

Kazashi brought her in the living room before sitting her down on her knees and giving her a stick. Then with a burst of warm chakra, she extracted the clay tablet from the storage seal.

With gentle movements, her mother guided her hand, Nagisa traced the kanji for her name. The stick, while smaller than a brush, felt clumsy and wobbly in her hand.

渚. Nagisa.  _ Shore. _

And next to her name, they wrote her mother's name and on the other side, her father's.

海良. Kazashi.  _ Good Ocean. _

大地. Daichi.  _ Great Earth _ .

"It's because you're the link between your father and I, you are born from the meeting between the earth and the sea."

_ Oh. _

It was only for poetic purposes? She was slightly disappointed. Everything here was meaningful and while hers was beautiful, she expected something… more.

"But let me tell you a secret." She continued, smile widening. "I had a feeling when you were here," She patted her stomach lovingly, "that just like the shore to the sea and land, you'll bridge two sides. Or at least, help to bridge them."

_ How strange _ . Nagisa felt something warming her guts, spreading into her chest.  _ I never expected to love you that much. _

"Kaa-san, what are those?" She asked, pointing to the fruit her mother was looking at.

Safely encased in Kazashi's arms, she leaned forward, trying to touch the strange fruit.

The vendor, an old woman –her hair was still vividly bright, she must not be that old yet but her face was full of wrinkles, so Nagisa was a bit confused here- smiled warmly and gave her a pat on the head, eyes laughing.

What can she say? She had always been curious.

"How old is she?"

"Nearing two," answered her mother before quietly admonishing her. Pointing was not polite.

"She talks so well! I remember when my boy was this old, such a mischievous little boy." She chuckled, showing her crooked teeth. "Yours seems calmer but more curious." She told her mother before showing her one fruit. "Those are called rambutan and we eat them like this." And she peeled one and gave her. "Chew it like there's no tomorrow."

Nagisa squinted -  _ seems like a trap  _ \- before shrugging -  _ but it's food  _ \- and doing it.

She scrunched her nose at the taste. It was sour. Chills ran down her body. She sent them a betrayed look.

Her mother barked a laugh, shoulders shaking and head thrown back. "She's too young to really appreciate it, Obaa-san."

"So it would seem, so it would." She said, laughing quietly.

Her first two years of her life as Nagisa Uzumaki were spent in wonder.

Living in Uzushio was like living on the sea: unpredictable and thrilling. Addictive. There was always a loud noise to quicken your heartbeat, a feast held in the honor of someone, someone singing, dancing, or laughing.

Uzushio was something she never knew she needed and now she couldn't live without it.

It felt like a family. Uzushio felt like home.

Her third year started differently.

...

To be continued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are.
> 
> Maria, now Nagisa, did in fact travel back in time but not like you might have expected it !
> 
> The man that Daichi talks with on the harbor is his brother, Kai.
> 
> "Time is a linear continuum of instants." is not from me but the philosopher Adolf Grünbaum.
> 
> Hope you like it !
> 
> (By the way, I'm not an english speaker native so if you found typos or grammar errors, you're welcome to correct me)
> 
> I'm out !


	3. Previously on: chaotic idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa is now three and learning new and not so new things and is introduced to the Uzumaki history, legend and dancing.

Chapter 2: Previously on: chaotic idiot.

* * *

Things started to change the day after she turned three.

Nagisa woke up to a handful of hair in her mouth and some drools on her pillows. But most importantly, alone.

The day before, her father, who had left before she even woke up, had bought her a set of brush and some ink, - a clear indication of what he was waiting for her.

Her grandmother had visited her that day, bringing some divine cake – litchi… Look like grandma and I share a favorite flavor - before gifting her with some earrings. She had received a carved bead from her grandfather, the meaning not lost to her either. And then some books, kimonos, some toys –in the midst, she had received a wooden kunai disguised as a toy - and a drawing from the daughter of Namiyo and Mizu - what was her name again?

But her mother's gift has been by far her favorite.

* * *

"Nagisa-chan, happy birthday." She sang lowly in the evening, a happy grin eating her face. They were eating together some sashimis - somehow her mother had discovered her newfound love for them. "Did you have fun today ?"

"Yes," she chirped, showing-off her books. Some were legends, some were stories and one was about chakra manipulation. "I have a lot of new gifts."

Again was without saying.

"Think you have the place for one more ?" She inquired, cocking a brow.

At that point, Nagisa's eyes were shining. Another gift? Gimme! She nodded vigorously.

"There." She pulled something from her back. It was small and it was wrapped. A chuckle escaped her mother as she watched her tearing the paper, a huge smile on her face.

Tearing paper was strangely fun... She definitely was still a child.

A box.

The ton of papers revealed a smooth wooden box with the carving of an octopus on it. Nagisa lowkey believed that her mother knew about her love for tearing papers and spoiled her a bit more.

She raised wide eyes to look at her mother. How was she supposed to react to tha-

"Open it, dummy," said her mother, laughing to herself.

Of course. How dumb can I be? It's not the box, it's inside the box!

It was a necklace with brown strings, corals, white pearls, and what looked like the wooden shape of a fish. She tilted her head. The fishy thing was humming with chakra. She questioned her mother with a glance.

"See the fish?" She pointed it out to her. "It's an angelfish."

Her mouth fell open. That was... really adorable.

"But why is there chakra in it?"

Her mother sighed, whispering something like being too smart for her own good, before explaining.

"The fish is inked with a special seal." She forced her to turn toward the wall. Its nose turned with her, always pointing in the same direction. " And it will always point in my direction. That way you'll always know where I am."

Her heart did a funny thing.

It'll always point where home is.

She threw herself in her arms.

* * *

"Wherever you are, whenever you want, you'll always know where to find me."

* * *

Yet, her mother's chakra had felt stiff that day, almost worried.

It unsettled her. And waking up in the middle of the night alone did nothing to help her relax.

Nagisa tried to extend her chakra, searching for the familiar energy. It wasn't in the house.

Her heart started beating loudly, shallow breathing. Where were th-. Oh my god.

What if Uzushio was taken that night? Her parents are in-

That rush of fear was almost too much. She needed some fresh hair. Or better! To get out. Because the walls seemed to close on her and her head was spinning too fast. Her stomach clenched and she thought she would throw up.

But as she opened the window, her parents' voices startled her. The wave of relief was almost too much and white spots danced in her eyes for a second. The emotional whiplash almost KO-ed her.

Oh, thank god!

Yet.

What were they doing outside? Nagisa frowned.

Her father's chakra was carefully controlled, the shifting pond that was his chakra reserve, that rippled with his every emotion, was still. It was like preventing the sea from moving, it felt unnatural.

If Daiki's chakra felt like a frozen pond, glacial and unnaturally still, her mother's chakra was more akin to a tornado, wild and utterly unpredictable, waiting for a spark to give birth to a firestorm. She had never felt Kazashi's chakra like that. She was broadcasting her emotions through chakra: her anger, her disappointment, and her betrayal.

Nagisa sprinted outside, naked feet on the cobblestone and heart throbbing. It was the core component of hurt. Her mother was hurting and she couldn't stand the thought.

They were in the garden, her father -crossed arms, back stiff as a board and squared shoulders- was watching her mother walking back and forth the length of the garden, hair raised with chakra.

She managed to hear a few words before her parents spotted her.

"She's three! It's too young for her training !" Her mother all but roared, throwing her hands up. "Tell your family to back off! Because if they don't," her voice lowered but Nagisa still could hear the venom in her next words, "I'll make them."

Her steps faltered, unsure if she should come closer. There was a coldness in her guts and her cheeks she did not like. She took a step back.

She has never seen her mother that angry, it shook her core.

It's Killer Intent.

It was what made her eyes go round, her cheeks cold and her forehead breaking into a cold sweat. It was what tied her throat, shook her bones and squeezed her stomach. It was what made her terrified and her mother was emitting that. It was hard to breathe.

She knew all of that but that didn't change the fact that she was utterly and completely terror-stricken by her mother.

"Then, perhaps, we should ask her." And they both wiped their heads toward her.

They probably weren't expecting her to be that touched by killer intent -or simply didn't realize they were using it- but she could feel with more than her five senses -which was ridiculously strange if you asked her- and their killer intents, swirling and mashing furiously around them, creating a hurricane of fury, threw her off her feet and into the cyclone. It smashed into her, face first and she was left dizzy.

She recalled seeing their eyes widening, perhaps they even tried to talk to her but it was like she wasn't completely there. She heard the words but couldn't comprehend them. The wave of fear -run, run, you'll die !- embracing her was too thick, she could barely breathe, hear or blink. She was reduced to a terrified mess.

And then, her mother's chakra rolled and curled around her, easing the Killer Intent out of her system and she was back. Her head felt heavy and slightly foggy and she didn't expect to either meet the Daichi's eyes, sparkling with concern or being crushed into her mother's chest.

"Are you okay, Nagisa-chan ?" asked her father, a line appearing between his brows.

She nodded, throat clenching hard and eyes burning. He simply eyed her and Nagisa became faintly aware of herself.

Her heart was beating loudly and she was panting hard like she ran like her instincts were screaming her to do. She was trembling too, from head to toes. Oh, and she was clenching hard her hands, nails feeling like tiny bloody hairpins.

He took her hands in his, slowly helping her relaxing her grip before his hand glowed green and the small crescent marks faded.

Her mother was repeating "I'm sorry" in her hair like a broken record, chakra, and arms tightly curled around her. They stood like that for who knows how long before adrenaline was flushed off her system and she relaxed in her mother's embrace, tears leaking from her eyes.

Then they went inside.

* * *

She slept with her mother that night. The tight embrace she almost loathed only an hour ago was a blessing.

She never has felt that small and terrified before.

* * *

She woke up with heavy eyelids, and her mother caressing her cheek.

Kazashi looked worse for wear with purple eye bags, bloodshot eyes and tired lines which all but screamed how little sleep she got. Still, she kissed her good morning, forcing a smile, keeping her head high.

She didn't expect to see Daichi at breakfast. He should've been long gone, signing away mission's scrolls.

Because it was what her father was doing: he was the head of the Shinobi's department, assigning missions to the right teams or even designing them. It was a way to ease her grandfather's burden -who had to overview like... everything-.

Her guts knotted, heavyweight settling on her chest.

"Hello, Nagisa-chan. Slept well ?" Daichi had a neutral face but his chakra felt less stiff, it moved.

She nodded. "Good enough, thank you Tou-san." And she started eating her breakfast.

She knew what was going to happen. The 'conversation' from yesterday will continue but with her this time and-

"I'm sorry for last night, little lionfish," Whoa, the nickname was new... She feared the worst if he felt the need to stroke her. "but the subject concerned you too-"

"Daichi!" Kizashi interrupted, mouth set in a hard line, "She's too young!"

"Our daughter is mature enough and you know it. She already started playing with chakra!"

Her mother recoiled before her lips opened, a comeback on its way.

"And she's right here!" Nagisa burst out in her high pitched, baby voice.

Yes, she sure as hell was commanding respect... But, hey! Her parents were no longer on the brink of starting the Fourth Shinobi World War. So she didn't make a complete fool of herself.

Daichi sighed.

"You're right, I'm sorry again. We were discussing your training in the shinobi art," he scratched his beard "but we didn't manage to... find some common ground. Therefore, the decision is yours to make. Do you want to start training?"

Nagisa bit her lips. Did she have to be a shinobi? Couldn't she just stay a civilian?

She shoved that thought away. Of course not. She was the granddaughter of the Uzukage. Every member of the main house was a shinobi. It was how it worked here. She had to be a soldier. She had to kill and she had to be merciless.

She had to be a shinobi.

And with what happened yesterday, this unbearable fear... She didn't want to feel it ever again. It wasn't because she felt really weak -because she was weak-, no, it was because she was tired of living in fear. Once upon a time, she was living in fear, shivering because someone looked at her a bit too long, worrying about not blowing her cover. Sure, it was comforting and she had been lucky to run fast enough but-

But Maria did not live, she survived.

And Nagisa didn't want that anymore, didn't want to be only lucky, didn't want to run. She didn't know when Uzushio was going to be attacked and while there wasn't anyone with Maria's father's name in the main family, it didn't mean anything. She was in the past, dammit! Anything could happen! She may have fucked up even more than she thought.

She didn't want to live in fear anymore. She didn't want to survive anymore.

Nagisa wanted to live.

She had to become strong. But- She didn't have a choice anyway, she was going to be a shinobi. It was a family thing after all.

From as far as the writing recounted it, her ancestors were Uzumaki. The blood running through her veins was 100 percent Uzumaki. And while the Uzumaki weren't fanatics of blood purity, it was still held in high esteem here. And all of that meant that she belonged to the main family and therefore, must become a shinobi.

Being a part of the main house was seen as an honor and there were three ways to obtain this status: marrying into the main family -for the Uzumaki; outsiders could not-, being born into it or achieving an impressive enough feat.

Her late grandmother, the wife of Ashina, was a member of the branch house and because of her unique chakra abilities -she had the healing chakra- she had married her grandfather with the hope she would pass these abilities on. And like that, the main family would have the strongest abilities.

And now that she thought about it, it may be the reason why the weirdest chakra mutation always happened in the main family. With all the abilities mixing here, it was bound to happen.

This healing chakra was also the cause of her grandmother's demise - and the strange statue in the garden was supposed to be a tribute to her. From what Nagisa had gathered, her grandmother, in an act of selfless love that only someone who truly loved could have done, had abused of this technique, draining her chakra's reserve to nil, to save the life of one of her children. This act had been greatly saluted and she had become a figure of motherly love.

The only highest position anyone on this island could hope to obtain was the title of Uzu-leader. It was not reserved for the main family. Any Uzumaki could become the leader of Uzushio as long as they won the respect of its citizens.

It was a given, no one could rule over their citizens while being hated and feared, it would only lead to a coup d'etat. However, respect and slight fear could do the job. Without fear, no one would follow the rules and without respect, no one would follow the leader. Those are the two pedestals for a healthy reign.

In the end, that decision didn't depend on her choice.

Daichi coughed. She snapped back into focus, "So?"

"Yes, I would like to start training early." It was better, an early start would always bring her more experiences. And she could start working on her sending-her-back-in-time seal early too.

Daichi nodded, a smirk inching its way on his face.

Nagisa didn't dare to look at her mother.

* * *

Her training, it would appear, was, in fact, dance practice, walking the stairs - _all_ the stairs, she couldn't be carried anymore - and meditation.

Climbing stairs was like the ban of her existence. Each time, she lost her breath halfway through them and it took her more than thirty minutes to climb. She sure was _such_ a lovely sight after that trial, cramping and hurting like hell, sweaty locks sticking to her forehead and huffing and puffing like a bull.

All of that under the watchful eyes of one of her parents - usually, her mother who smiled sympathetically and encouraged her through the whole ordeal - and whoever passerby happened to cross her road.

She even had people pitying her. It made her blood boiled. Yes, _thank you_ for offering to help when _no one_ asked you to, now could you please stop sending her mother reproachful gazes? It would be _greatly_ appreciated.

She was fine ten minutes after, anyway.

Meditation wasn't as fun as one would expect. It was nice... for the first ten minutes and then it became boring. Her body was growing impatient, she had to burn this excess of energy and she couldn't. It was like trying to contain an excited puppy. You couldn't.

The sheer amount of will power it took from her was tiring and she usually fell asleep halfway through it. And then, they had to start. _Again_.

She could understand why the stairs and meditation. It made sense: one was to build stamina and physical energy while the other was for spiritual energy.

But dance classes? What was the point? 

The day she had been presented to Yakihiro-sensei to learn the family katas, he all but threw her one look before telling her she would have dance lessons instead. Why? What did she do to be hated?

She had dance classes every day on the beach, to build balance her father had said. She called bullshit. She could have worked her balance differently.

She stopped counting the number of times she twisted her ankles or ate sand after two months.

Why did she need to learn dancing? They were supposed to train. She didn't need to know how to move prettily, just efficiently. And the other children were giving her the nasty look. Simply because she was younger than them did not mean she wasn't smarter. Because she was, duh.

She wasn't comfortable with them.

They didn't like her, or at least, didn't care about her. She was different and she didn't know how to act like them. And she plainly refused to dumb herself for company. It was wrong: the kids would just like someone else she pretended to be, not her.

She wasn't that desperate for company, anyway. And the kids were on most day immature brats and on the other insufferable brats that tended to grate her nerves.

She suffered through four months of that before her temper exploded.

She was a slow learner, Yakihiro-sensei told her one day, right in front of the whole class. The little, immature children they were, laughed their tiny asses off and sniggered at her.

It pissed her off.

She answered that she was only three, unlike his other students who all looked to be six years old. She had been put on time out that day and had to wait at the end of the class.

She didn't understand why. What did she do wrong to be on time out? Why?

Or perhaps she knew why because perhaps she had used a bit of that haughty tone that Ashina-oji used on some shinobi and she maybe had screamed an insult too.

Sitting cross-legged on the sand, Yakihiro-sensei was fixing her with unamused eyes. "Do you know why I ask you to stay behind ?"

To scold her, obviously.

She shook her head but her thoughts must have been written on her face, he threw her a pointy glare.

"Don't act like that toward your sensei." Nagisa gritted her teeth, blood still hot from the earlier call out. "I don't understand you. You have potentials. You're young and still clumsy but the potential is there, yet all you do is slacking off."

"Because, sensei," she answered, talking through her teeth, "I was coming here with the intent of training. All I am doing is learning some silly moves instead of katas."

He sighed.

"You believe that dance practice is pointless." He said that with a tone deadpanned enough that she actually paused.

_Well... It is._

"This will help you with your katas. It improves your flexibility, your balance, and your agility. These three are the core components of the Uzumaki's taijutsu style. You understand now ?"

* * *

From this moment, Nagisa begrudgingly decided that she would give a shot at that dance practice.

* * *

"Very well, Nagisa-san. Again, but seamlessly."

Huffing, red cheeks and sweat rolling down her face, she was ready to flip the bird but with an excessive amount of self-control, stopped herself before.

"Seamlessly, seamlessly..." she murmured under her breath, "I would like to see him try."

Right leg thrown up, behind into a roundhouse and swirl, wrists, elbows and future breasts aligned, stop with feet beside one another.

She had mastered the Senpu Sutomudansu, the whirling storm dance, in less than a month. Yakihiro-sensei's expression had been a cross between smug and vindictive. As revenge, he corrected every tiny mistake until her dance was perfect.

"Sloppy."

"Faster."

"Legs are too close."

"Arched arms, not angular."

It really wasn't good for her temper but she took it in her strides.

Step forward, turned, swirly motions with hands, arms going up, turn again while bringing back the foot behind.

She had asked how long she was supposed to keep the lesson. His answer, "Until you're at least six years old."

She would have cried tears of blood if she could.

Hips lift, bonelessly fall on knees, roll into a crouch and move into a handstand.

Oh, and she was having private lessons now, because she was a bit too behind and the other kids had moved to the Ryusui Ugoku, the running water moves. Therefore, Yakihiro-sensei really took his time teaching her, drilling her everything until she could do it in her sleep.

Rolled into a stand, two swirls, aaaaand final posture.

She was eyeing her sensei with a hopeful gaze, -put an end to my suffering.-. Her arms were trembling from keeping the position. A strange whiny noise escaped her throat. He thought long and hard before nodding to himself.

"You did well."

And with this acknowledgment, she broke the posture, falling on her back. Her body hurt, her muscles were tingling and sand was sticking everywhere. Even between her butt's cheeks. Especially between her butt's cheeks.

He crouched at her head, patting it. "See. When you want it, you can do it." His smile turned into a smirk. "Don't rest too long, you still have 349 stairs to climb."

He's sadistic, she thought tiredly. And he counts the stairs.

Fixing his gleeful smirk, she made up her mind. He's a psycho. Period.

* * *

This evening, she had been greeted with baffling news. True, she would have preferred if her mother had announced that she was ending the dance lessons _buuuut_ it was the next best thing.

"Nagisa," Kazashi said in a breathy tone.

Nagisa looked up from her position on the ground, watching where her mother stood, a small, disbelieving smile on the lips.

"Nagisa." She repeated, eyes wide and slightly glassy. "It's incredible."

"What is it, Kaa-san ?" She asked, worry slowly filling her chest. "Something bad happened ?"

"No. Nothing bad." Her mother sat on the ground. Nagisa hurried to her, trying to understand what was happening. "It's good actually." She took her small hands in hers, successfully stopping her from checking her pulse and forehead.

Kazashi laughed, tears leaking down her face. She took Nagisa's face in her hands, eyes glowing. "I'm pregnant Nagisa-chan."

Nagisa froze. "Pregnant...? Like... a baby?"

Kazashi nodded, her smile impossibly wide. "You're going to be a big sister."

It took her a few seconds to process that. Her eyes slowly widened. A baby. She was going to have a baby sibling.

She bounced on her mother, giggling. She let herself be swept in her arms, hugging the hell out of each other.

She couldn't help but be carried away by her mother pure, unadulterated joy, squealing at some point.

Her mother put her forehead against hers, glancing into her eyes. "Are you happy?"

She nodded, putting a trembling hand on her mother's stomach.

* * *

Her father had been ecstatic that night, hugging and kissing both her mother and her.

Nagisa had never been happier. The household had never felt happier. Her mother was cooking, humming and dancing. Her father was grinning and humming too. Grinning! And! Humming! Like what? She was pretty sure she was in an alternative universe at that point.

Well, she could have been happier if she didn't have these dance lessons but hey ! she was going to have a baby sibling.

The only downside was... she didn't know how to feel about knowing her parents still had active sex-life.

Like- No, ugh, let's not think about it.

Still, it was strange. She had already established the fact that her parents did not love each other, maybe they like each other a lot, but love? Absolutely not. She knew how in love people looked like and her parents weren't.

It was as simple as that.

"So, how was practice today?" Her father had asked, a smile never really leaving his lips.

"Good!" But tonight, she wouldn't ruin the mood with her whining. It could wait until tomorrow. "Yakihiro-sensei said that I almost mastered Senpu Sutomudansu perfectly."

Daichi, in his own way, beamed at her before patting her head for the second time today.

Her soul entered a new state of blissful nirvana.

* * *

The look of gleeful joy when they told her grandmother was something she would always remember.

* * *

During the next few months, Nagisa continued her training, even upgrading it to Ryusui Ugoku, which unlike the whirling storm dance, did not need much swirling, just a perfect control of her body. Which was... worst because she was clumsy, young and prone to kissing the ground.

It was a more brutal dance, a swift balance between sudden sharps moves and slow arabesque-like moves.

The meditation was going along nicely, with all her energy being consumed by her training, she was left with less excess and could concentrate better. That didn't mean she stopped falling asleep. In fact, she tended to sleep more.

The stairs... Ugh, what a pain. She could still not climb them in one go but she was breathing better.

* * *

Kazashi's stomach was rounding every day and Nagisa's eyes kept doubling their size every time she looked at it. She still could not believe it.

A baby! She was so excited. She even found herself humming happily more and more to herself. Looks like she had finally picked up that strange habit the whole island had.

Singing, just like writing, was a must on Uzushio. It was quite a common occurrence to hear songs sang by the deep, rough voices of the fishermen while they worked or the clear voices of the beggars, entertaining the citizens with the hope of a coin or a seal at the end of the song.

Though, unlike writing, singing was not capital.

If nothing else, you had to know about writing here. Uzushio was littered with seals, therefore one had to know how to write to try to understand them. It was a necessary skill to survive and it was badly viewed if an adult were to set seals off unnecessarily.

Not knowing how to write was closing any potential future one could hope to have on Uzushio. Everyone used seals and seals were used everywhere. Hell, seals could be used as money here. If one were to be short on money, they could use seals of similar value to pay for the goods.

Needless to say, the rarer and the more complex the seal was, the higher his value was.

In short, seal masters were filthy wealthy, even with several laws against them.

-W_ords have power here, little Nagisa. Use your words wisely_\- and -_use your words to protect the clan, make us proud_\- made suddenly sense in her mind.

That was the reason why clay tablets -or sand tablets, its cheap counterparts- were so expensive. And the ones who could not afford it were teaching their offspring with a stick and the sand of the beach.

Nagisa hummed, a hand on the stomach of her mother, feeling moderately baffled. "It's kicking." Her head was spinning. What the hell. It had some strength for a baby.

"I know," she laughed, her sharp canines showing. "You were fussier, though."

Kazashi paused, her eyes turning crescent while she pushed some unruly strands out of her daughter's face.

"Don't let your hair hide your lovely face, angelfish. What gender do you want it to be?"

Nagisa thought about it for a bit, biting her cheeks to stop the embarrassing squeal forming in her throat.

During her life as Maria, she never had any siblings. So being a sister, not alone, was a first for her. A little sister would be nice, she could dress her and talk about more sensible things in the future. But she could do just as much with a little brother.

"I don't care, Kaa-san," she shrugged, scrutinizing her mother's stomach, oddly focused. "It doesn't matter. I'll love them all the same."

A pause.

Her mother suddenly sniffed. _Ah?_

Looking up to meet her mother's teary eyes, snot dribbling from her nose, Nagisa flailed a bit. _Did I say something I shouldn't?_

"What did I do to deserve such a wonderful daughter?" Kazashi sobbed, pushing her face into her tiny shoulder.

A flush crept up her face.

* * *

"Kasa-obaa, what's that?" asked Nagisa, pointing to the sketch of a seal on the wall.

Her mother had left her with her grandmother today. She had an appointment with the doctor, for the baby and Nagisa couldn't come along. She had asked to, but sadly, had been denied. And because she had only been allowed to go to and back from her dance practice alone, she had been left with her.

"Hm?" Looking up from her work -she was a jewel maker, pretty neat if you asked her-, she raised a brow before smiling at her. "It's a seal, dear. It's very usefu-"

"I know what seals are," she interrupted. She didn't mean to be a brat but her grandmother had a tendency to treat her like a baby and it grated her nerves. She could survive the cheek pinching and the cooing but if someone insulted her intelligence, she would go apeshit crazy. She never understood how much her parents were treating her like a small adult and not a child. "What is the purpose of this one?"

Kasa pinched her lips, frowning at her. "It's a seal that diffused perfume. I created it for my husband's mother, she was fond of jewelry and perfume."

Her grandmother created it? But-

"Why did you give it to her?" Her forehead creased.

"It's a custom. You're a bit young to know about that, though."

"Buuuuuut..." Come on, tell me.

She tutted disapprovingly. "Curiosity killed the cat."

"But satisfaction brought it back."

Kasa blinked, clearly surprised before huffing. Nagisa kept fixing her with wide eyes. Give in to me.

"Usually, the man offers a courting gift to the woman he hoped to woo. On the other hand, the woman had to create a seal for the family she wished to marry into."

Gotcha!

Nagisa hummed, going over what she had just been told. Interesting... I wonder where Kaa-san courting gift is...

Satisfied, she relaxed against the couch, closing her eyes.

...

Before promptly opening them again.

Wait... What about two men? Do they need to give each other a courting gift or does one act as the woman? I need answers.

She glanced at her grandmother, opening her lips before closing them again.

Better not ask her... Her Kasa-obaa had a conservative streak in her and even if she didn't mean harm, that didn't mean it won't end badly.

Nagisa would have to wait for her mother to come back.

"Obaa-chan, what are you doing?" This question seemed to brighten her grandmother's face, oddly proud of her interest.

"This, little Nana-chan, is how I gain money. I'm a jewel maker," she puffed her chest out, looking as proud as a peacock. "Do you want to learn?"

Nagisa nodded.

If she liked it enough, it could be a good hobby.

* * *

"Does your little one know about the island legend?" asked the same old woman who pranked her with the fruit two years ago. She proposed some rambutans again. Nagisa quickly shook her head, making the adults chuckle. Not today, you nasty Obaasan.

"Not yet, I was thinking of bringing her next week though."

The old woman smiled. "Oh, it'll be my husband's turn."

Her mother smiled back, eyes shimmering. "Wonderful, I've always preferred your husband better."

And they changed the subject after that, gossiping about whoever caught their interest.

She tuned out the rest of the conversation, watching the other stands.

* * *

There was another custom on Uzushio: children from ages three to ten were required to come to the cave on the east side of the island to learn about their history through story-telling. They had to hear it at least once but could hear it multiple times if they wished it.

After that, some kind of buffet was held. Smart because the only way to appeal to people was through food nowaday.

At least that was true for her.

* * *

The story-telling, it appeared, took place in a half-submerged cave in the cliff. And what a cave…

Safely secured in her mother's laps, Nagisa was eyeing the cave they were in. It was crowded, red hair everywhere: children, women, and men were all sitting on the ground. Nagisa felt small and weak.

It was huge and dark. But not too dark, some sunlight was reflected on the sea giving a greenish color to the walls. Painting, patterns, and symbols she vaguely recognized were inked all over the stone. Crystal strategically placed scattered the light all over, giving it a red, pink, blue or even green hue, creating a patchwork of colored light and ink.

Beautiful, was all she could think, a bit too awed for a child her age.

Now, the Uzumaki were not known for their painting –beautiful calligraphy? Yes. Painting? No.- and there was a reason: they could not draw to save their life.

Nagisa couldn't fathom what they tried to represent, even after squinting this way and that. Was it a huge snake? A noodle? A string?

A young man with numerous tattoos on his body neared the scene, ending her musing.

"Welcome everyone!" He opened his arms wide, a warm smile on his face. "You are all gathered here to learn about a legend." Sounds of drums and flute echoed in the cave, gently at first before being louder and louder. "But not any legend, 'tis the story of the mighty Shio-Zuchi-sama, the god of the Ocean, and Benten-hime of the flaming red hair. 'Tis the story of how we came to be."

The young man produced a scroll from the pocket of his pants before throwing it in the middle of the scene.

A burst of chakra.

"Have fun with your story-teller." With a cheeky grin, he winked before disappearing in the cloud of smoke created by the scroll. Another man appeared from it.

The storyteller was quite old, his long hairs were starting to lose their color, some strands were deep dark red while others, more light red and brown. Yet, he still moved swiftly, like old age meant nothing.

But most importantly, he had a huge beard. Like it reached his waist.

She curled her fingers in her mother's dress, patting her round stomach. The little one kicked in answer. She squawked, derailing her thoughts for a second before her eyes fell on the story-teller once again and she had to squash her urge again. She really wanted to pet his beard.

"During a godly feast, where everything was the finest of things, Susanoo-sama challenged Shio-Zuchi-sama to a singing contest. The other gods and goddesses would act as the jury."

His voice fluctuated, accentuating the tone here, moving there. All to capture the attention of the young ones.

"Shio-Zuchi-sama, proud and slightly tipsy, agreed. After the most magnificent songs were uttered, Susanoo-sama is declared the winner and Shio-Zuchi-sama, ashamed, hid in a cave on the shore."

Even more awesome: they used seals to create shadows of the gods. It was like watching a shadow theater.

"During his disappearance, his brother, Omotetsu-Wata-Tsu-Mi-sama, the mischievous god of the deep Ocean, who has been waiting for this moment for all this life, takes advantage and steal the spear, symbol of Shio-Zuchi-sama's power."

The shadow of a grotesque man was raising a spear over his head like a trophy. It snatched her a laugh. Her mother beamed down, looking oddly pleased.

"Omotetsu-Wata-Tsu-Mi-sama is named god of the Ocean. However, his reign over the deepwater brought only death and despair, 'Shio-Zuchi-sama needs to come back' cried the villagers.

Yet, no men nor gods managed to bring Shio-Zuchi out of his cave. Men, dishearten, start to lose hope and give up, the sea which was once blue and beautiful was now tainted of crimson red."

Dramatic pause. Nagisa couldn't help but hold her breath.

"Everyone? No.

Young, boisterous and fearless princess Benten-hime's faith remained unwavering. In a last attempt, she sang her heart out in front of his cave all day and night."

The storyteller smiled, like an old man telling his favorite part.

"Shio-Zuchi-sama, touched in a way he has never been before by her beautiful voice, felt his heart being pierced by the feverish disease named love. He fell deeply and truly in love with the young maiden. But as he finally stepped out, his brother, furious that she managed where everyone could not, killed her."

Nagisa sighed. Of course, it had to end like that.

"Upon seeing the body of his lover, Shio-Zuchi-Sama, enraged, wrestled for his rightful power."

The old man raised both hands, a burst of chakra, a big 'bang', drops of salty water fell on them and shouted, "And won!".

Nagisa jumped into Kazashi's chest, startled tears forming in her eyes. Some children shouted, others started crying. Who thought it was a good idea to use an explosion near small children?

"You okay my angelfish ?" whispered her mother in her ear.

Nagisa nodded.

"Then mighty Shio-Zuchi-sama, wept over his lover's body, for his love was of the purest love and his ache was the most painful.

And from her blood, seafoam, and his godly tears, a baby with flaming red hair was born. To protect this child, Shio-Zuchi-sama made Awashima-sama, the drifting island, immovable and creates whirlpools around. Finally, before taking his mighty rest, he blesses his child with the ability to crave words and fill them with power.

Thus Awashima-sama becomes Uzushio and the first Uzumaki was born."

Ths shadow theater ended abruptly.

"And from Benten-hime, we got our hair the color of her passion and her strength of heart and from Shio-Zuchi, we got his vitality and physical strength." Kazashi was murmuring the same words, at the same time in her ear. "But do not forget that seafoam was mixed too, for our blood is water and our temper is as unpredictable as the sea."

* * *

Never forget that we're children of the sea with stones for bones and the blood of our enemies in our hair.

Our blood is water and the sea is our home.

* * *

Months passed, her birthday passed again and her mother's stomach became unbelievably round and the whole household became incredibly jittery. Nowadays, with the due date nearing, her father came back earlier, checking multiple times during the day on her.

It was strangely sweet.

It all changed one cold night. She had been awakened by her mother's scream.

Her water broke.

...

to be continued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys ! There we are, Nagisa is on her way to becoming a shinobi ! More worldbuilding too, hope you like that.
> 
> I'm honestly amazed at myself. I didn't expect to post another chapter so soon, it wasn't supposed to write itself like that but here we are.
> 
> Also, I want to thank everyone who kudoed and/or commented on this fic. I usually try to respond to everyone (even if it's not in english (google traduction is my friend)). It really helped me write this chapter. However, I must warn ya. I doubt I'll post a new chapter that soon, studies are coming. Yikes...
> 
> Ah, the gift... Quite an important one. I really hope I manage to portray two sides of parenting also known as good parenting and bad parenting: one is pushing his expectation on his child while the other is trying to protect them and letting them take their times. But then, not everything is black and white so there'll be good things coming from one and bad from the other.
> 
> Concerning her grandmother, the reason why she's seen as a figure for mother's love is mostly because Ashina kinda forced it. Plenty of parents died protecting their offsprings in the past.
> 
> Three is really young for a child to start training but if Itachi had the training (kinda) to kill someone at age three, I don't see why Nagisa can't start her own.
> 
> And she's slowly showing her true colors too. She's a curious and stubborn child who won't do the thing if she does not understand why.
> 
> She's going to be a nightmare to her future superiors. I'm already cackling but you have to wait for three or four chapters, at least, for her to become a full-fledged shinobi.
> 
> Next chapter will cover her growth from four years old to nine. and its title is "How was my innocent mind supposed to know ?".


	4. How my innocent mind was supposed to know ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nagisa get a baby sibling, starts her training and meet family member.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank abciluvpie (on ff.net) also known as Deece on Discord for taking the time to beta read me. They did a wonderful job and this chapter wouldn't be as good without them.
> 
> You're wonderful Dee :)
> 
> Anyway, no special warning for this chapter.

_Chapter 3: How my innocent mind was supposed to know?_

* * *

The arrival of her baby brother took her by surprise. He was due a month later.

That night, the snow embraced Uzushio's shore for the first time in five years.

* * *

Nagisa quickly got to her feet, tripping over some blankets before crashing in the living room. There, she went right for her shoes. She knew what it meant: they needed to get to the hospital, right at the base of the mountain, as fast as they could and she wasn't going to be left behind.

From what she had gathered, giving birth in the Uzumaki clan was usually a fast and tiring affair. It took an hour at least, four at most –she was an exception, she made her mother suffer through ten hours of contraction before she had been delivered-.

"Tou-san," Nagisa said, raising her arms right as her father skidded in the room, her mother in his arms. He crouched and she jumped on his back, his chakra gluing her against him. She clutched her mother and they were out.

She could marvel at her father's strength later –moving with a pregnant woman in his arms and a not-so-light-anymore child on his back without breaking a sweat, not everyone could do that-. Her mother was in pain right now. That was all that mattered.

Kazashi grunted lowly against her father's shoulder, cheeks growing redder and breathing, shallower. Daichi sped up in answer.

They didn't take the stairs as she expected, as he should have with a pregnant woman and a child. No, her father ran straight and jumped off the cliff.

Nagisa or her Konoha's citizen counterpart had never wondered even once what it felt like to be a rock catapulted from a cliff, but they were both pretty content with their feet touching the ground. Now, she knew how it felt.

They were free-falling the next instant.

_Holy shi_-

Her heart leaped straight into in her throat, successfully stopping incoherent screams and screeches from escaping. Tears were ripped from her eyes, eyelids flopping in the cold wind like some glorious flags, before her heart fell in her pelvis the moment they touched a roof. She didn't manage to catch her breath before he was jumping again.

Nagisa clutched at her father with a vicious grip, hoping he would feel a tenth of her discomfort, snuggling his neck with closed eyes, some prayers on the lips.

She was pretty sure one of the roofs would cave under them.

They kept hopping down the whole way, and they did not fall through a roof. Astonishing. Unbelievable. She didn't know what to think about roofs sturdy enough to bear their weight.

She knew one thing: none of her organs were in the correct place. Her stomach had jump right in her throat at some point and wouldn't come down.

She was feeling slightly nauseous, but she was so glad to be reunited with the ground, she could have fainted. Okay, maybe a bit too overdramatic but she could have kissed it at least.

It was the first time she was in the hospital, her father had an affinity for medical jutsu and he usually was the one to treat her small injuries. She had been a bit too busy observing their surroundings and the reddish-brown stones that she missed what the receptionist told them.

She didn't have time to listen after either, because they were already striding down a corridor and turning this way and that before a doctor threw a door open for them. They were inside before she could blink.

Her mother was delicately put on the bed and she sat right next to her pillow, stroking her mother's forehead. It was sweaty and really warm but her gesture was greeted with her mother's small smile.

Her father strode out of the room to disappear in the corridor and Nagisa was left frowning. Why would he leave when her mother was going to give birth? That wasn't something you do, especially when your pregnant wife needed you.

It left her with a sour taste in the mouth.

She must have been frowning for some time because her mother patted her hand.

"Don't worry about Tou-san, he went searching for Ashina-sama," Kazashi said after a pause, lips twisted in a painful grimace.

"Why?" She asked, partly to satisfy her undying curiosity and partly to distract her mother from the pain.

"It's a… tradition." She groaned, "The clan leader has to be present when a member of his family is born. To greet them."

She should have guessed. It was always about tradition here.

"You're almost fully dilated, Kazashi-san," informed the nurse, sending her an interrogative glance, before continuing, " A bit longer and you can start pushing."

Kazashi grunted, catching her small hand into her sweaty one, "You should wait outside. They should be back soon."

Three hours passed before a newborn's cry graced her ear.

And what a wail: loud enough to be heard from the corridor and high-pitched enough to shake her out of her slumber. Her grandfather's chest was quite comfortable, but she turned sheepish once she spotted drool staining his shirt.

Oops.

The man himself commented on it.

"Hear that roar, Daichi? A fine set of lungs!"

Her father nodded, eyes shining.

Ashina-oji carried her inside and settled her against her mother's heaving chest where a small bundle of tears and screams was curled.

She had been wrong before when she thought her mother couldn't look happier than when she announced her pregnancy. It was nothing compared to her having her baby in her arms. Tired and in pain was all she could think when she first looked at her mother. Her mouth was set in a grimace, eyes closing a bit too long, and sweat drenching her hair almost black. Her mouth didn't convey the emotion but her eyes did. There was a brightness in there and with the tears slowly accumulating, they looked like stars. Kazashi was radiating pure unaltered happiness.

"It's a boy," she breathed out, a trembling finger pushing the cover away to show a red, tiny and wrinkly human.

Ashina-oji carefully took him, taking a good look at his, for now, ugly face. "And what shall he be named?"

Her mother turned her face to the window, and her pensive smile turned into a smirk as small diamonds swirling and dancing with the wind were falling from the sky.

"Yukio. Uzumaki Yukio."

Her little brother was here. Yukio. Snow boy.

She huffed a bit, stopping a chuckle from escaping.

_What a terrible name. You did better with me._

Daichi nodded his approval, eyes shining with tears, and Ashina-oji raised her little brother for everyone to see.

"Welcome, Uzumaki Yukio. May you strengthened the clan." He said, before giving the small bundle to her father, kissing her mother's hand and congratulating her on her ability to birth strong children –that's what he said, she didn't invent that one- before bending to kiss her forehead. Nagisa managed to catch a stray hair bead, caressing the smooth surface before letting go. Ashina-oji chuckled a bit before he left, leaving only her family inside.

The corners of her father's mouth stirred into a wide smile and one tear rolled down his cheek.

Her father was crying.

Nagisa held her breath, watching without really believing the last person she ever expected to see cry. She may as well have turned into stone, unmovable as she was. She wasn't even sure she breathed.

It was new and unexpected.

She never really believed he could do that. Crying, being emotional, that kind of stuff. It was a foreign notion that never fit him well, she never associated him with it.

She knew he cared, in his own way. He was the one to always treat her injuries, he sometimes awkwardly showed his caring side through pats and forehead kisses but they were few and far between and even then lacked warmth.

A blotchy red face interrupted her musings. Her father was presenting her Yukio in all his glory.

Her baby brother was ugly and weird. A head too big for his body, he was only vaguely human-shaped with no teeth and a scream that made her want to go deaf.

"Nagisa-chan, say hello to your little brother."

"Hi!" And yet, her voice turned breathless on its own accord.

Yukio had big red fleshy cheeks that begged to be poked and Nagisa was never one to resist her urges well. She poked him and deep blue eyes gazed back at her.

It felt like time stopped. His eyes were a carbon copy of her mother's but with something more. Something small and bright and fragile, like the light of a candle that flickers with every burst of wind. Something so pure and naïve that awake something deeply primal inside her.

Her breath _hitched_.

There was _innocence_ in them, and during that small amount of time, she swore to protect it.

It was at this exact moment that Nagisa knew she fell in love with him.

* * *

_So, this is what precious means?_

_How strange..._

_I never expected to ever feel that._

* * *

While the Uchiha fall in love deeply and wholly, the Uzumaki fall quick and hard. Nagisa is no exception.

* * *

One couldn't be more enamored with their little brother than she was. Well, except when he woke her up: she couldn't love much when sleep deprived.

Laid belly first on the couch, Nagisa was watching him like a hawk.

He had a turf of red hair with squishy cheeks –don't poke them!- and blue eyes with golden specks hidden behind closed eyelids. Otherwise, he was just a tiny bag of flesh. He was starting to be cute, at least.

"You can blink, you know. He won't disappear." Her mother laughed from somewhere inside the kitchen.

Nagisa hummed in answer, blinking before taking her eyes off of him, searching for her mother.

It was strange. She had been used to feeling only two chakras. Feeling a third one inside really threw her off the first few weeks. It was like hearing a mosquito flying near your ear but in her mind. Frustrating but it was slowly getting better.

His chakra presence was just like him, tiny and just like her father, a small puddle that rippled during his outbursts.

Nagisa frowned and jumped on her feet when she noticed her mother putting her shoes on.

"Where are you going, Kaa-san?" Kazashi raised her eyes.

"Where are we going, you mean." She replied, a small smile erupting once she noticed Nagisa dancing on her feet, staying near her little brother but eyeing her shoes. "We are going to baptize Yukio. He has to meet Shio-Zuchi-sama after all."

_Uhh? Baptize?_

Faced with her put-off expression, Kazashi laughed. "Come, you'll see."

Taking her mother's hand, the three were off.

Nagisa was happily humming to herself, skipping from cobblestone to cobblestone under the laughing gaze of her mother until realization hit her like a thunderbolt.

To baptize him they needed to get to the old temple which was on the shore, which meant stairs.

_Ugh._

_We meet again, nemesis_. She thought darkly, ideas of constructions to replace the stairs fussing inside her head and scowling the whole way down. _One day I'm gonna get you and you'll never know what hit you._

She could have sworn her mother snickered but when she turned her head to catch her, her face was the epitome of calmness.

Nagisa squinted suspiciously.

"Was I baptized?" She finally asked the question that was on her mind for some minutes.

"Yes," Nagisa's eyebrows shoot into her hairline, she certainly didn't remember that, "You were asleep the whole time though. You cried the whole night before."

Nagisa smiled sheepishly.

She couldn't say she wasn't feeling guilty –her mother deserved only the sweetest children even when she forced her to eat that soup- but she wasn't feeling entirely apologetic either. She had to grieve and crying was the healthiest way!

The temple, situated near the sea was like a lot of Uzushio's buildings: big and made of stone with arches and pillars, except there was a splendor to it that no other building had. Perhaps it was in the way the sand contrasted with the blackness of the rocks. Or in how the light reflected by the sea would draw moving patterns on the wall with each wave. It could even be the sweet scent of sea salt and incense that floated by.

A priestess -serene face, white kimono with koi pattern- greeted them.

"Uzumaki-sama, we were waiting for you," she showed them the way with one of her covered hands, "Everything is in order. We can proceed whenever you want."

Kazashi nodded and they were led inside.

Once inside, they were asked to leave their shoes at the entrance and Nagisa was confused just for a moment. As they walked inside another room with black rocks, gold, wood, and stained glasses creating a patchwork of colors, it dawned on her.

The air felt suffocating: too damp and too warm, and she was surprised her little brother did not make a sound. He should be the one having the most difficulty to breathe.

The water, on the other hand, was freezing, curling and splashing around her mid calves. She winced, goosebumps breaking out on her skin and chills running up and down her back.

In the middle of the room, an old woman -gold and white kimono and some kind of a hat- was waiting for them with some small wall behind her. Her mother bowed to the woman before handing her Yukio and kneeling. Nagisa followed suit, hesitating for a second. The water was cold and she didn't want to wet her clothes.

She met her mother expecting look.

Nagisa sighed.

The thing she does for her family...

The old woman started chanting something but Nagisa was far too busy observing the room. They were surrounded by water; it was running down the walls, immerging the floor which was not a floor but more an immersed bridge in the middle of a pool.

There were things in the water: it rippled from time to time and Nagisa could feel them. The question was what. Fishes mostly likely, but why were they inside the room?

Tiny droplets of water smashed into her face. She blinked in surprise before giving the woman a seriously unimpressed look.

Standing in front of her and waving a simple wooden wand to which paper streamers emitting water – sealed paper streamers to be precise - in a strange motion above her head, the corner of the woman's lips wobbled for a second. And then, she was doing the same to her baby brother.

She shouldn't have taken her eyes off of him to look at her mother because the next instant the old woman _dunked_ her brother into the pool.

…

Okay, so maybe she didn't dunk him per se but in the end, he was still drowning and-

Her response was almost immediate. Chakra flaring like a siren, Nagisa jumped on her feet with a shout, ready to jump in after him. Someone caught her arm and tugged on it, jerking her back. Lips showing her teeth in a none too friendly manner, she almost snarled.

"Nagisa, enough !" Her mother warned.

"But-"

The disapproving face of her mother stopped her.

Her little brother broke through the surface of the water the next second, crying and coughing, supported by _fish_. Koi if she wanted to be specific. Big Koi that should not be living in freezing water if her bewildered mind that couldn't proceed with what she was seeing wanted to be specific.

_Summons_, provided her brain after she froze for a minute.

That certainly did cool her down. Only for a few seconds though, because her temper rose the stronger his wailing was.

The old priestess took him back in her arm and Nagisa had a hard time stifling her urges to snatch him away. The woman was mad! Her baby brother was two months old! And she drowned him! What the hell!

But the look on her mother's face kept her from disagreeing.

Nagisa gritted her teeth and stayed knelt for the rest of the ceremony.

* * *

She was livid by the time the ceremony ended. The priestess didn't drown Yukio once but twice and perhaps she was overreacting but one of the only things that she could call hers -**_her_** little brother- was being mistreated like that -_he was crying for fuck's sake!_\- and her mother didn't react at all!

Yukio was still sobbing in her mother's kimono, his pitiful hiccups breaking her heart.

She should not have felt the burn of betrayal in her throat. Her mother knew best and it was rationally not dangerous for Yukio.

But she did.

* * *

She had the whole week off as Yakihiro-sensei had a family thing to do.

She low-key believed he was getting married and he didn't invite his _favorite_ student of all time, his words not hers… Right, maybe he didn't phrase it like that but that was what Nagisa heard. Anyway, she was sure she wasn't invited because she would have stolen the spotlight, she was the _epitome_ of charisma after all.

…

His constant sarcasm was getting to her.

And as such, her mother believed it was the perfect time for Yukio and her to do some bonding. Nagisa had to blink at that. Yukio and she were sleeping in the same room! He was waking her at least two times every damn night, and if it wasn't for her unwavering love, she would have tossed him through the window!

Kazashi was out of the house before she could open her mouth. Her mouth fell into a straight line, watching her little brother from the corner of her eyes.

"Uhh… Looks like babysitting duty is on me, little one." Yukio whined at that, "Come on, I'm not that bad and you should respect your big sister a bit more."

Something was going on if her mother needed a break that badly. Couldn't she have taken Yukio and her with her?

She frowned.

Looking outside the window, she watched small snowflakes fall from a grey sky. The usual vivid colors of Uzushio she was so fond of, dull and lacking. Going outside was a big no. Perhaps that was why her mother left them behind?

Yukio tried to grab a strand of her hair -it was getting longer and in her way.

She poked his cheek with a smile, he gurgled happily.

An unsettling _theory_ caught her off guard and sent her into a maelstrom of thought and each time she tried to dismiss it, scoffing at her own stupid ideas, her mind kept going back to it.

"Listen, if you can understand me or you are an adult trapped in a baby body blinks three times."

A very awkward silence with no blinks answered her. She sighed.

"What am I doing? Talking to a baby like he can understand me," Her smile faded slightly. "What was I expecting?"

A sad pang vibrated in her chest, hitting all the right spots.

It wasn't homesickness. How could one be sick of something they never had to begin with?

It was a mix between the ache of losing the meager things she managed to save and simply the feeling of being alone.

She didn't remember the details but she knew that at one point when she was Maria, she had hoped Uzushio was never destroyed. Her life would have been so much simpler. But now, she was in Uzushio and she couldn't connect to anyone except her mother. Because she was not just Nagisa, she knew things that coul- _would_ happen. But she was not just Maria anymore either.

She was…

Who was she now?

Yukio gurgled again, trying to regain her attention and unknowingly stopping her train of thought from slowly spiraling out of control and going into that deep dark sea.

"Well, let's take care of you."

* * *

It took her two hours to get bored. Her mother was still not back and it was growing dangerously near his feeding time. She did not want to hear his ear-piercing temper-tantrum precursor screams. She already got her fair share.

She was still working on her calligraphy when the first sign of the end showed.

Her brother's chakra rippled. Small waves at first, barely felt and easily dismissed but it grew in intensity over the time until it smashed into her with a vengeance. She couldn't pretend anymore.

Sweat rolled down her neck. _Oh no._

But what was she supposed to do? Give him food? Absolutely not, she couldn't trust him to not choke on anything and he was still breastfeeding anyway. A toy? Perhaps, after all, hunger can be easily forgotten when one is entertained.

His chakra stretched and thinned and- _Please don't snap, please don't snap, please don't_-

Nodding to herself, she quickly fetched a toy -a small fish doll- before moving it this way and that in front of his eyes. It worked... for six minutes.

His chakra_ snapped_.

Yukio hiccupped, wiggling on his blanket before small whines became full high-pitched cries.

His serenade started and all hell broke loose.

Nagisa was running like a headless chicken in the whole house, showing him things that may catch his attention and trying her hardest to please him only to be screamed at even louder.

Thankfully, Kazashi was back within the next ten minutes and Nagisa was enjoying the calm again. It didn't stop the pout forming on her face.

"What's with that face, angelfish?" asked Kazashi, one breast out for Yukio to suck on.

"Where were you? You were gone for sooooo long," She threw her hands up. "Why not bring us with you?"

Her mother chuckled, affectionately stroking Yukio's head with a fond glint in her eyes.

"It's your father's birthday tonight, I bought him a gift."

Nagisa could give her that.

"But why not bring us with you then?" She tried again.

"You spoiled us. You were quieter, far more than Yukio is, so taking you with me was easy but Yukio..."

She didn't end her sentence but Nagisa got the gist of it, and she understood that point too.

_I love you Yukio, I really do but what a needy baby you are_. She thought, warm eyes watching him.

That didn't change the fact that her mother left her alone with her baby brother and anything could have happened or that she suffered from his cries. Again.

She wasn't going to throw a temper tantrum like she had half thought about but she would have her small revenge regardless.

Tonight's setting would be perfect.

* * *

"Kaa-san, the babies. How are they made?"

The reactions were immediate. Her father spat his food, choking and her mother turned bright red, eyes the double of their size. And Nagisa...

Nagisa was laughing gleefully in her head, struggling to keep her composure.

Tilting her head, she opened wide eyes, appearing confused and innocent because-

_How is my innocent mind supposed to know that?_

* * *

Not much happened in the next two years, her days were spent the same way.

Her schedule was evenly split so she was busy all day.

Dance lessons took her whole morning and she had gotten so_ good_ at this, she was even ahead. Calligraphy lessons with her mother were next in line; the seiza position was a pain to keep, but she was learning many styles! Who would have thought that holding the brush at a different point could change so much. Then endurance training at the end of the day, which was really just running on the beach with someone.

Her evenings were spent with her brother, usually she was reading stories or teaching hiragana if her mother asked. The good old meditation was her last task and she did it while laying in bed, while she wasn't that good at it, it helped her fall asleep.

But this year was different, she could feel some nervous energy shaking her bones and tickling her muscles, screaming at her that change was coming. It gripped her gut and wrenched apathy aside, forcing her to always put a step in front of the other. It was a strange feeling, being sure of something with no proof.

Except, not exactly.

She knew one thing: Yesterday was her birthday, she was six years old.

And that meant she would start her shinobi training.

* * *

Seated in front of Yakihiro-sensei, Nagisa waited for him to say something, a hopeful smile on her face.

"Will you stop bouncing?" He growled, not even looking up from the scroll he was writing on.

Her smile fell a bit, that was not what she expected, but she would not let his bad mood affected her.

"Did you become blind during the night sensei?" Nagisa teased, "I'm sitting right in front of you, not bouncing."

An annoyed look crossed his feature, twisting his red lips -he had lips women would kill for- into a grimace. "Your chakra is all over the place, it's pissing me off."

Nagisa _stared_.

"You're awfully on edge today, is it because I'm leaving the nest?"

He looked up, eyebrows raised. His eyes widened a bit, mouth slightly opened before his face settled for smugness. Nagisa did not like it one bit.

"How can you leave the nest when you can't even fly? You have shaky wings, barely able to keep you from falling. So no, I'm not worried about that."

_Ah... What?_

"Wait does that mean..."

"I'll be the one teaching your katas. Now if you could shut your mouth, I need to finish the report."

There was no heat behind his words so she didn't take it to heart but he wasn't jesting either. If he was in such a mood, she wasn't going to be his punching ball.

She rose and turned on her heels.

"What are you doing?"

She stopped, not even turning around. "I'm going for a walk. You can join me once you've ditched that attitude."

* * *

The beach felt nice, the water was a bit cold but it didn't stop her from enjoying it.

She had been walking for a good hour now, her calves were starting to burn but she pushed past it.

Soon, the beach would leave space for leaf-strewn and half-cracked cobblestone streets and old abandoned buildings ranging from small cottages to large estates: The historic part of the island, where the very first Uzumaki lived before their megalomania forced them to live at the very top of the highest mountains they could find. And for that, they decided that the worthiest would take the higher ground while the peasant took the rest. That way they would be the first to get butchered.

Oak and pine trees lined the streets, acting as bodyguards against the sun and singing wistful songs with the wind. When the leaves all turned orange and gold in the fall, it was the most beautiful sight. When they all looked dead in the winter, it was the creepiest.

Here, time moved slower. Everything was quiet, muted almost. It was the perfect setting to take a step back and simply breathe, regaining her balance. And being alone made it just twice as effective. She just felt in tune with herself and everything that she forced herself to deny -her reincarnation, herself- everything related to her could come back full force at the front of her mind without getting automatically repressed.

She had time for it, after all, she could deal with it. Or so that was what she told herself.

Today was not a good day.

She didn't like being berated, true but that wasn't the reason today.

The day after her birthday always felt off, like a part of the island was not the same. She couldn't really describe it but if she had to it would be something like a shift in the energy entwined within the island, like the small tendrils of chakra that reached for her were filled with... _sorrow_, as if a part of the island was grieving. It felt strange, different, and not in a good way.

She didn't like it.

Strolling through the street and humming to herself, Nagisa kept walking forward. After the old broken fountain, she would reach the forest and just before that, the river. She could probably take a swim, cooling her head before going back to Yakihiro-sensei.

That was what she assumed she would do but the back of someone fishing in that very river stopped her.

_This chakra is familiar_. Nagisa frowned, debating if she should continue or leave.

There was no indication of acknowledgment, that he was even aware of her presence but the other person chose for her: he patted the ground next to him before saying: "Nagisa-chan, come here."

With cautious steps, she approached. "Oji? What are you doing here? I thought you were busy with your Ho-... Uzuka- Uzu-leader things."

A long-suffering sigh escaped from his lips. "Not today. You're a bit far from the communal part, don't you think?"

Nagisa simply shrugged. "I like exploring."

Ashina looked tired, more than usual. His face was still the same, a long white beard, an old sun-kissed skin marred with brown specks and wrinkles but his eyes, old and wise that sparkled with something, seemed dull. There was no glow.

"Oji?"

He hummed in answer.

"Why is the island grieving today?"

If anyone would know the answer, it would be him.

He looked vaguely surprised before he chuckled, unamused and bitter. "I shouldn't be surprised you managed to see that, you're a prodigy."

A prodigy? Not really, Maria had been good with fuinjutsu, but not enough to be called a prodigy. She was just older.

"Twenty years ago on this very day, the island had been invaded by a mercenary clan, the Yohei. It was before the barrier unit implementation, mind you. A day with no mercy. The earth drank blood and tears, " He sighed, looking at the sun, "and everyone lost someone. Your grandmother died that day just like the husband of Kasa-san."

Ah.

She scooted closer to her grandfather and curled into his side. She wasn't good with situations like that, she never knew what to say to comfort. She was only good at putting her foot in her mouth.

Would saying sorry be appropriated? It was a long time ago and it wouldn't do anything but-

"I'm sorry."

Perhaps it would help.

He put an arm around her, tightening his grip before letting go again.

"It was a long time ago, but thank you."

They basked in silence and sunlight together. It was nice, she was at ease.

"Do you want to learn?" He asked her after some time.

"Hm?"

"Fishing. Do you want to learn?"

The answer was obvious:

She nodded.

* * *

"Grandma, what was she like?" An innocent question asked by a curious child was all he could think about.

She looked at him.

His grandchild had bright wide eyes that always looked at her surroundings with a kind of wonder only a non-native had.

Sometimes, when the deep scar of her death heaved his heart, he couldn't bear looking at that child. From their stubbornness to their mole, they had many similarities. Kindred spirits in a way that made him believe that if there was some divine being up here, he had to have really fucked-up humor.

His wife would have loved Nagisa, though. They shared the same love for scholarly subjects and that same uncontainable curiosity… But she wasn't there anymore, so he would have to love her for both of them.

The irony of the situation wasn't lost to him and it left a bitter taste, for Nagisa's father was the son Honoka had died for.

He gazed into her green eyes and sighed.

"Always curious and never satisfied." A smile that slightly fell. "That streak of stubbornness is strong in every Uzumaki woman and particularly in your grandmother. In that way, you are a lot like her."

Nagisa smiled into that particular way of her, a bit sad, a bit melancholic, and a bit too wise.

There was potential in her, though. He could see a path that would bloom in a bright future if only he placed carefully his pieces. Shogi had never been his forte, it was more Honoka's thing; she was the strategist to his fighter, but he would give his best this time. For the sake of the clan.

"One time, she looked at enemy ready to cut her down dead in the eyes and told him: 'I won't die today.'" He scoffed at the memory, analyzing her reaction from the corner of his eyes. "I think that the day I fell in love with her."

Patience and time were the keys to polish this diamond in the rough.

First, he would have to carve it.

* * *

"Good morning, Nagisa-san!"

Nagisa blinked. She had never expected to receive such a warming welcome that early in the morning. It kinda pissed her off.

"I'm Senka, daughter of the Kujira's clan leader."

It was the fifth time this week that something like that happened. One time she even got a bento offered - fried fish and rice balls, not bad at all- and she had no idea why.

And just like the four other times, she gaped stupidly at her. It would soon turn awkward.

Thankfully, her fuinjutsu teacher opened the sliding door, saving her from her awkwardness. She jumped in her seat, unusually eager to start the lesson.

_Please don't let them talk to me again, I'll stutter and make a fool of myself._

She sweated profusely every time someone crossed her gaze.

* * *

"Kaa-san?"

"Hm?"

"Why do they keep trying to introduce themselves to me?"

A sigh. "I'm sure you know how important you are for this island. They are trying to create connections through you."

"Oh... I see."

Nagisa wisely ignored how her heart throbbed and focused on playing with her baby brother.

Hope was the worst.

* * *

Yakihiro-sensei and she didn't talk about what happened the day before. He ignored it and she was content following his lead.

* * *

The Uzumaki's katas were all about balance, control, and swiftness.

To strike first, once and true.

They used a lot of whirls and kicks and sometimes, whirling kicks. Always moving, never static. Always where the other wasn't expecting you to be.

What made an efficient taijutsu user was also what made a good fuinjutsu user: their ability to predict.

A good fuinjutsu user cannot go into a battle unprepared, they had to hazard a guess over what could happen and act on it, creating seals and the lots before the fight. Over a shorter period, a taijutsu user was the same: predicting the enemy's next move and reacting to it were the core component of a fast victory.

Beyond the katas, Nagisa was learning to read someone's body, to foretell. And it was hard.

"Oof."

On her side, Nagisa was panting, cheek against the sand, eyeing with distaste the red blotch of her blood on the sand. He hit her hard this time.

Yakihiro-sensei crouched down.

"Get up."

"I can't." She was so tired and in pain.

"Get. Up."

"I can't!"

"Nagisa. I said get up."

"I CAN'T!" She bit back a sob, eyes watering.

Something passed on his face, a flickering of emotion that she could not decipher before he sighed.

"Very well, take a break, do the katas once more and the session will be over."

She nodded.

* * *

"Why do you push me so hard?"

"The Uzumaki have enemies. A lot of them. And they won't wait for you to catch up. So grit your teeth, clench your fist and get up. If you want to survive, you have to endure."

* * *

It was two months into her training that she realized something. The katas were familiar, incredibly familiar.

_First kata: Right leg thrown up, behind into a roundhouse, high kick._

She exhaled loudly.

_Second kata: Step forward, punch, forearms protecting the face, evade left while bringing back the foot behind._

The sequences were too familiar. She knew it from somewhere.

_Third kata: bonelessly fall on knees, roll into a crouch, move into a handstand and end in a back bridge._

_Wait... If you add a swirl here and some moves there, it's..._

She eyed Yakihiro-sensei, unamused. She couldn't believe him, the nerves!

He raised an eyebrow.

"Improve my flexibility and agility, right?" She deadpanned, rolling on her feet. "You could also have told me they were the dances without the fancy moves."

Yakihiro snorted. "And what, miss an opportunity to mess with you? Your reactions are too funny for that."

The nerve... Asshole.

* * *

Her being six years old also meant that she would start her training in every field. That is to say, in fuinjutsu -yeah!- but also in every other thing a noblewoman was supposed to know. Like the tea ceremony.

It was a ceremonial way of preparing and drinking green tea typically in a traditional tea room with a tatami floor and Nagisa was pretty sure the room she was in was the only room with tatami of the whole island. Beyond just serving and receiving tea, one of the main purposes of this ceremony was for the guests to enjoy the hospitality of the host in an atmosphere distinct from the fast pace of everyday life. Which meant the best moment to show off your wealth and rub it in the face of everyone.

The art of tea ceremony was subtle and Nagisa hated it. There were too many rules: a dress code -no jewelry, no strong perfume, no gaudy fashion, a beautiful kimono but not too beautiful-, the whole preparation of the tea - tea whisk, tea container for the powder green tea, tea scoop, tea bowl, sweets container, and the kettle and brazier. Each piece of equipment was carefully selected according to circumstance and had its specific place, which meant you had to know all of that too- and of course, you couldn't pour it and drink it like that. Your body had to respect some angle and distance and-

She was making a mess again.

Honoka-sensei -a tall woman with an angel face, brown hair and a body to die for- eyed her distastefully, she clipped her fan back in one hand.

"What did you do wrong this time?" She asked in that haughty voice of hers.

"I have no idea."

And she really did.

* * *

Being a proper noblewoman also entailed learning music, koto, and shamisen, but because of an incident she would prefer to forget, she had been banned from the music room.

Now, some little girls were calling her the Shamisen Broker.

* * *

Nagisa loved fuinjutsu, really, but she had been put in a class with too many six or seven years olds who didn't know kanji that well and it was boring.

Careful now, she didn't know every kanji -and that was probably why she was here in the first place- because Maria's grandmother had been focusing more on the basics, the most useful, the ones she would use in every situation. So she didn't know them all but if Nagisa had to estimate, she knew at least two-thirds of them.

That alone, put her ten steps ahead.

She also knew most symbolism: the circle for a cycle, the square for stability -while the triangle is also a sign of stability, the square will always be stronger-, the spiral was usually used to design a sequence, straight lines for power and so on.

Finally, she understood a good portion of physics, the core of fuinjutsu.

It was at the end of a lesson that Nagisa-sensei -unfortunately, her name was quite common- asked to see her privately.

She knocked at the door, waiting for approval before entering. She bowed to her.

"Sensei, you wanted to see me?"

"Ah, Nagisa-chan," the blond woman grinned at her, "Please take a seat."

She looked at her curiously. Nagisa-sensei was pretty in the most conventional way, a proportionate face with a cute nose and big black eyes. Except she had gills on each side of her neck, and she was from the Daiba clan, the pearl divers clan, which may or may not explain things.

"I wanted to talk about your notes."

Nagisa straightened in alarm. "Something wrong with them?"

"No," she smiled softly, "Quite the contrary. Your scores are perfect as always."

Nagisa tilted her head. "So, what's the problem?"

"People call you a prodigy," Sensei continued before she could interrupt her. "You are a prodigy, it's true… I won't hold you back anymore. That's why I contacted a tutor on your behalf. I mean, if you want to! Of course, no one is forcing you, just that it would be a pity to prevent you from reaching your full potential."

"I see. Thank you Sensei, I'll think about it."

"Of course, of course !"

She already knew her answer the moment she walked out of the door.

* * *

At seven years old, Nagisa finally managed to meet all of her family: the youngest, the wanderer sister was back home.

It didn't take much for the two to meet. Whether it was fate or something else, Nagisa and Rina were drawn together.

* * *

She was visiting Ashina-oji when she bumped into the woman.

Nagisa felt it, the exact moment she laid her eyes on Rina, on her tattooed face, on her scarred arms and her strong body that this woman was far beyond her reach.

Their meeting was like a spark, blinding and brief, and forever burned into her memory.

"Who are you, pup?" She asked, voice sweet and raucous. "What are you doing here? I didn't know the Lighthouse was turned into a nursery."

Nagisa had to blink at that before frowning. There was some heaviness in the air that tried to subdue her, she shook it off.

Nagisa held her chin high, a challenge in her eyes. "I'm Nagisa, daughter of Daiki and I'm seven years old, not a baby."

The woman burst into laughter. "Really? Could have fooled me." She patted her head, "I'm Rina" and she walked away.

Nagisa was left behind, gaping.

* * *

Nagisa became infatuated with Rina, as much as one could get with their aunt.

She was good and she told the best stories.

* * *

Rina brought her in the forest today. She wanted to share something. So, they trailed in the forest deeper and deeper, oak and maple trees leaving room for pine trees before following a path up into the mountain.

Nagisa was getting out of breath but kept on trudging forward, barely distinguishing her aunt ahead of her.

Rina warned her: if she slowed down, she would be left behind.

Gritting her teeth, she jumped over a boulder, circled around another, cursing under her breath until- Rina was there.

She grinned at her, barely sweating or out of breath. Strands of hair the color of the blood fell from her braided buns, fluttering around her, creating a halo and the sun behind her, a flaming crown.

_How fitting_, she thought, _a demonic queen_.

Her green eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Look," She opened wide arms before stepping aside, prompting her to walk forward. "See Uzushio in all its beauty."

Her breath _itched_.

Up here, it felt like the beginning and the end of everything, of the earth, the sky, and the sea, and she saw all of it.

Their city, colorful and shining, a setting sun perched on the end of the world. The sea was gleaming like thousands of jewels, limitless and beautiful. The whirlpools, the femme fatale of the sea, actually meshed together creating endless of currents and foams, the white clouds of the water. Under her, patches of trees and rocks, gradients of green and brown, which had no real pattern but the one named chaos.

A soft breeze swirled through the leaves, warm and gentle before brushing past her, caressing her hair out of her face and pushing sweaty locks away from her neck.

It was beautiful, glorious even, but there was something else, something she never considered being there. Right behind her, on the other side of the island where other whirlpools should have been, there were other smaller islands as green as Uzushio.

She chuckled breathlessly.

Uzu no Kuni has never been just an island like Maria had believed; it was a volcanic archipelago.

"What do you think?"

Green met seafoam eyes, something indescribable passed between them.

"Like I'm on top of the world."

Rina smiled, wide and wild.

* * *

It was nearing lunch when they trailed down again, they stopped in a clearing to sip on water.

Or at least, that was what she was doing, downing the whole bottle in one go.

Rina presented her a kunai, a somewhat serious expression painted on her face. She tilted her head in confusion.

"You've learned how to use one, right?"

Nagisa nodded.

"Very well," Her smile turned sharp and wicked, "Show me what you got."

Nagisa fell into a stance.

* * *

"You're not strong enough and you won't ever be a powerhouse. You inherited my brother's chakra and his reserve." Rina said as Nagisa was panting on the ground. She scowled. "You have potential though. You're fast and you have good reflexes. But! All of that means nothing if you can't hide it or dodge."

She got up with difficulty, Rina approved with a small smile. "Hide what?"

"Your chakra, your intention. You're broadcasting everything through it. Learn to dissociate it and learn to hide and that way you will become a terror."

"And how do I do that?"

Rina sat down. The kimono she was wearing opened, showing her legs. She followed suit.

"Well, two ways." Nagisa tilted her head, "Firstly, you can try to keep it contained under your skin. Try to contain the flame inside you while not dissociating it from you. Or, you can create a seal. It could be your graduation seal. You haven't thought about one yet, right?"

Nagisa hummed, shaking her head.

_Graduation seal huh_? It was an interesting idea, one she would have to think a bit more about, especially considering she wanted to become a fuinjutsu master.

The only way to be acknowledged as a good one was to graduate with a seal.

The graduation seal was exactly what the name entailed: a seal of your creation that you presented at your graduation exam. If it worked and was deemed satisfying, she would be seen as a fuinjutsu master and a shinobi, if not, she would only be a shinobi.

"What was your graduation seal?" Nagisa asked.

"Nothing very wild, a simple seal that would light up the object it's written on. Easier to find your weapon on the battlefield, yeah? It didn't pass though, was too simple."

Nagisa hummed sympathetically.

"So, let's teach you some stealth, alright?" She clapped her hand.

* * *

Containing your chakra in was easier said than done, especially when you were hunted down by seagulls, their family summons. Rina had the wondrous idea to test her stealth with her summons when she could barely keep track of it: you had to have a constant grip on it, your feelings, and your awareness; regardless of the time.

Anyway, the seagulls had a way to pinpoint people through chakra: it made things easier during their flight. So escaping their notice was her ultimate goal, it would prove that she mastered stealth like no other. But she wasn't no other, she was Nagisa and it didn't end well: the seagulls had a fondness for her hair which they keep pulling it with their nasty beaks.

At least she knew two things:

One, she was starting to dodge flying things successfully; and two, she will _never_ sign their summoning scroll.

The only other thing that she managed to grasp a bit -a very little bit- was dissociating feelings from chakra, but it was hard. Her emotions and her chakra had been entangled together for too long and Nagisa had neither the patience nor the skill to disentangle them.

Looked like the seal was something she would have to dig up.

* * *

Their time together was brief.

Rina had grown relentless and kept looking beyond the whirlpools with something akin to longing in her eyes. She stayed just long enough to satisfy Ashina-oji before she was back into the wild again.

It was only when she was saying her goodbye on the harbor and watched her back cross the gates that Nagisa realized what made her so special.

It was in her eyes: they were lit by an undying flame, a raging storm that promised battle and blood.

It was in her posture: she was proud and strong, ready to dodge everything the world threw at her.

It was in her chakra: she was defiant and challenging, she would bow to no one.

It was all of her: she would take on the world if she had to.

And Nagisa, holding the hand of her baby brother, wanted to be just like her: wild, strong and untamable. A warrior. A fighter.

An unstoppable maelstrom.

* * *

_Yukio, would you be proud of me if I end up just like her?_

* * *

_If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless._

_James. E. Faust_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya !
> 
> I would like to thank everyone who left a comment, bookmarked and/or leave a kudo. You go people!
> 
> I hope it was up to your expectations.
> 
> Now, let's talk about this chapter. So Nagisa got a baby brother, Daichi showed emotion and Kazashi gave Yukio to some priestess (who then proceed to drown him).
> 
> So if anyone is wondering why Nagisa doesn't remember it (because almost drowning should have been a pretty traumatic experience and she should have woken up). Two reasons. One, she was pretty young and she's losing some of her memories (that topic will be broached in the next and the one after chapters) and she forgot the breastfeeding and all of that too. Two, she was not drowned like Yukio. There are two head priestesses, one is kinder in her method (she simply holds the children in the water) and the other is well... a bit brutish.
> 
> Hmm, we're learning a bit more about Uzushio and her family too.
> 
> What did you thought about Ashina Pov. Expected reaction ? Unexpected ?
> 
> Btw, small note. There was a reason that Rina stuck with Nagisa at first... What was it again ? Oh yeah ! Carving her
> 
> Next chapter will be named "Enter Mito Uzumaki" and yes, we're going to see canon characters soon! So be prepared!
> 
> (I'll probably do a longer note but later because... Tired...)
> 
> Feedbacks are always appreciated!
> 
> Take care!
> 
> I'm out


	5. Uh Oh We Are Under Attack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Nagisa does not live her best life, uh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello! It's been some time, aha...
> 
> Big thanks to anyone commenting (you've fueled my want to write!) and liking. I see you ;)
> 
> Anyway, here is chapter four!
> 
> So, fair warning, it's a bit angsty! See you at the end!

_ **Chapter 4: Uh Oh We Are Under Attack** _

* * *

"How come you don't know? Aren't you the genius here?" One faceless kid sneered. "I don't like know-it-all like you."

Her face fell and she cast her eyes away, completely missing the ten kids that wished to be seen by her side.

* * *

The sun was shyly peeking out from beyond the horizon, casting warm rays that barely filtered through the leaves. The forest was calm in the early morning. The mist curled around them, stroking and reddening round cheeks as they trudged forward. The grass was still fresh, dampening her toes through her sandals as she followed him.

"What are we doing here?" Nagisa grudgingly asked, finally done with the silent treatment.

It was a cold morning, one that Nagisa had never experienced before.

Her face was set into a pout, eyebrows frowned and eyes squinted in annoyance. She shook her arms, bringing the heat back before crossing them again.

"You're particularly difficult in the morning, Nagisa." Daichi chastised, eyes never leaving the trail in front of him. "Now be quiet."

It was a cold morning, one that Nagisa had never experienced before because she never had felt the need to wake up at such an _ungodly_ hour!

She puffed her cheeks out and squashed the need to stomp her feet before it could fully form. It was cold, Nagisa was freezing and her father was focusing on the ground, peering at something she couldn't see. And to top that, her father was dodging the question!

"Look. What do you see?" He tilted his head toward her, waiting for her output.

"Uh, grass?"

He stared, lips set into a tight line. And stared and stared some more until Nagisa was fidgeting under his gaze.

"What am I supposed to see? I don't know what you're waiting for!" She snapped, scowling at the disappointment oozing off of him.

She hated it when he did that. Taking her somewhere, asking her questions, and expecting her to know. He never told her anything, he simply expected and when she undoubtedly failed to answer, he looked at her, brow cocked and disappointed.

She hated disappointing people, proving that she wasn't as smart, as good or as strong as they expected. It felt like she failed them, and it left her with frustration and that bitter taste on the tongue.

"Look for the details. How is the grass?" He asked, gesturing around her.

Nagisa squinted, "It looks like it's been stomped or…"

"Or?"

"Or like something had been dragged?" She tried, face set into a grimace, inwardly expecting to fail.

"That's more or less that." He nodded at her, "Good job."

She tried to ignore the bubbly feeling she felt. It warmed her from head to toes, and she felt elated. Alone, she would have struck a pose, but with her father, she simply mentally patted her own head.

_Good job, he said. Let's see how long I can meet his expectations._

"Can you tell me in which direction the trail goes?"

Nagisa plucked her lips. How should she know that? Details he said, but in the middle of tiny strands of grass, details were the hardest to find. _Alright, think smart. The grass has been stomped, how can I tell? Because they all bend in the same direct- Oh!_ She had her answer.

"That way." She answered, pointing toward a darker section of the forest. "Right?"

"Yes. We'll follow the trail and you'll lead."

She blinked. "So, we are hunting… What are we hunting?" She squinted at his face and could feel herself blanched when Daichi grinned in answer. It wasn't just a simple grin. It was bloodthirsty and vindictive, eyes shining with too much sadistic glee. Even his chakra flickered, turning dark and flat. The calm before the storm.

"You will see."

_Oh god…_ She started sweating. _Just what are we hunting?_

They went deeper into the forest, each time, Nagisa had to make the right decision while her father was suspiciously silent behind her. Nagisa stumbled upon blood, fur and a mud imprint of a big cat. The size of the pawn was, at least, twice the size of her hand.

_Oh my god, just what the hell are we hunting?_

A shadow loomed over her.

"T-tou-san?"

He was looking particularly content as he hunched over her, examining the imprint, "It's a baby, perfect for you."

"A what?" Nagisa gaped at her father. Did he really say what she heard him say?

Oh god, was now a good moment to start panicking? Or should she wait to be confronted with the monster? Because they were definitely hunting done that big baby cat and by the look of it, she was going to confront it.

"Let's continue." He helped her on her feet and with a hand on her back, pushed her forward.

Nagisa swallowed loudly, tempted to drag her feet and make enough noise in hope to scare whatever they were hunting. Her father would most likely kill her though.

She regretted ever whining at her father, hoping he would spare more time for her. Because he did and she wasn't enjoying it at all.

_Let's just hope I'm a lousy tracker…_ Nagisa thought as she regretfully took the lead.

They continued for at least another half an hour, jumping and zigzagging over trees and holes, the forest always the same yet always changing until the trees became sparse and-

The view was quite lovely.

Waves crashed on the black sand beach, black rocks and boulders, spraying her face with tiny drops. It was when the sea kissed her face that Nagisa felt truly alive. The chakra moved along the water, sliding back and forth through her coils. A few trees managed to grow, casting shades and shadows under which some mini monkeys laid, showing each other their colorful butts before cowering away once they heard them.

The water on this side was calmer with multiples sea lotuses coloring the more green than blue canvas with spots of blue, yellow and white.

A bit further away, there was an island. Tiny and green and near, Nagisa could see the shore from where she was.

She turned expectantly toward her father, inwardly rejoicing about her failure. "We can't go further, it's the sea."

Daichi cocked a brow, "Follow the trail Nagisa."

She sighed, "Look, I don't know what we are hunting but they certainly couldn't swim from one island to the other. I must have failed somewhere."

His lips wobbled for a second before he set them back in a straight line. "Why are you suddenly so keen on failing?"

"I am not!"

"Then follow the trail, you will understand."

Gritting her teeth, Nagisa kept going, following wisps of chakra that mixed together and lured her on false trails. Then she tried again, focusing on the marks only to realize that she already stomped on them. So, she turned toward her father.

His face was blank, his lips falling into a tight line.

"So? What did you do wrong?"

"I don't know."

Daichi rose a brow.

"I. Don't. Know."

He sighed. "Nagisa…"

There it was… The failing, the disappointment, all created because of expectations.

"What?" A sudden spike in her blood. She pointed an accusing finger. "I failed because you never taught me."

A burning poison slipped through her veins and clouded her mind. Her breathing came out heavy and short.

"Do you hear yourself?" His voice was as cold as ice. It cooled the fire of her anger. "You don't know and you want to learn, I understand, but you never ask for it. You wait and think that maybe someone will come and explain things to you. But life doesn't work that way, you can't just wait for the others to do the first step. You need to understand that sometimes you have to initiate the exchange. This is one of the reasons why you find yourself alone: you never extend your hand first."

It felt like a punch to the gut, one she never saw coming. She took a step back. It hurt, more than she thought it would and more than she cared to admit. She turned on her heels, eyes, and face burning with shame but still not ready to admit the truth behind his words.

* * *

She didn't talk to her father or even look at him after that, to the point that her mother had to intervene.

It didn't end well.

* * *

"Nagisa, wait!"

She stormed out of the house as an answer, eyes stinging and face strangely hot.

Why couldn't they understand? She didn't want to talk, she didn't need to talk. She only needed to be left alone, in peace, where no one would judge her, blame her, expect things from her.

It wasn't the same anger that burned inside her. This fire was stained with shame and guilt.

Her feet slapped painfully against the concrete, painfully reminding her that she wasn't wearing shoes. But did it really matter? She was on Uzushio and there were poor people that were wearing less.

_No_, she shook her head,_ it's not the good attitu-_

She slammed into someone so hard it cut her breath. It shook her deep. She quickly apologized and vanished before they could say anything.

_Bloody idiot…_

She could feel it as she ran, the stares, the judgment, the expectations.

_-Hey look, it's Daichi's daughter_

_Shut up._

_-His daughter? The genius?_

_Shut up!_

_-Genius_

_-GeNius_

_-Ge**NI**Us_

_-Un**aBL**e **TO** mA**k**e FRI**end**_

She gritted her teeth. Her breaths were coming out painfully, like her brain only remembered how to breathe the moment before she fainted and her lung expanded violently only to promptly forget to breathe again.

_Leave me alone._

_Leave me alone!_

Cold water splashed her feet. And the next instance, there was almost too much to comprehend. Smell, touch, and noise, and gravity doing finally its job. Sand, sea spray and the cackling of the seagulls. Feet firmly planted on the ground. She was…

_Back?_ Back.

_Where?_

Back on earth.

_On Uzushio?_ On Uzu.

_How?_ The water.

It was the water. The water brought her back, it grounded her. _Our blood is water, our blood is the sea._ Yes, the water. It couldn't be something else because she was…

_Alone_ on the beach.

Alone.

…

Lonely.

The surge of emotions was almost too much, it crashed on her like a tidal wave and she fell on her knees. The door of a room she thought sealed forever groaned under the assault. A simple door made of wood and painting and very far from the golden door of her memories. This one was made to be inconspicuous.

The wood split and bent, more and more, until the door held only through sheer will.

_Hold._

She couldn't fail now.

_Hold!_

She couldn't let go because if she did-

** _H O L D!_ **

If she let it open, she would have to face _it_ and it would break her.

Furiously rubbing her eyes, she squashed the emotions back into her guts and firmly locked them away, once again.

The setting sun set ablaze the sea who timidly came to lick her legs. At least, the view was still as lovely as ever.

Regardless of everything that happened so far, Uzushio was beautiful. Her little sunny boy would surel-

A thought, as terrifying as it was sudden, froze her.

_What was his name?_

Her breath itched. A strange, nauseating weight fell on her stomach.

Quickly, she smoothed the sand and tried to draw his face. There was a face, and a nose, and eyes and, and-

_What did he look like?_

She came up with nothing.

Her boy, her sunshine, the reason she did all of that, the reason she was here…

She… forgot?

It started in her stomach, a knot that tightened ever so slowly, then it spread to her guts. There, the cold spider of terror - it had to be a spider - buried its legs deep in her, spreading ice until she felt numb. Cold sweats broke out. It reached her lungs, crunching and piercing them under the weight of its legs. Short and shallow, her breathing quickened. And then, the spider, still hungry for more, spilled its venom in her hammering heart.

Her mind was doing cartwheels, furiously searching through every nook and cranny for information. And the result was alarming.

She remembered everything related to the Uzumaki; the fuinjutsu, their history, her grandmother... But more than that? It was fuzzy at best, completely forgotten at worst.

...

She forgot.

…

She _forgot_.

...

She didn't know how long she remained rooted in her spot. She just knew that when her parents found her, her cheeks felt cold, her eyes, dry and her chest… hollow.

* * *

"Kaa-san…?" Her voice was broken and frail and in that instance, Nagisa wasn't a teen trapped into a child's body; she was once again a little girl. And all Kazashi could do was holding her close.

* * *

"Nagisa… What happened, what's wrong?"

She forgot about her most precious person and-

"… Nothing."

Kazashi's shoulders slumped and she cast her eyes downward. "I see… You will tell me when you are ready then, okay?"

…

"Nagisa!" Kazashi knocked on the door, her baby brother was happily babbling her mother's ears off, "Guess what is for dinner."

No response.

"It's squid stew, like your grandma does, your favorite."

Still no answer.

Her chakra shrieked and churned with worry.

…

Through the night, Nagisa could feel her mother's chakra spiked before a wave of chakra rolled toward her. It was like thousands of tiny hands that crawled and searched around until it found her. They cradled her in their arms, wrapping around her like a swaddled child in a blanket and patted her cheeks softly as if it was trying to dry the tears she refused to shed.

…

"Nagisa, Yakihiro-sensei is waiting for you outside, something about-"

"I don't want to…"

…

She forgot about one of the only people she could connect with. _Her Uchiha_.

Her precious person.

…

It took her mother a week before she couldn't take it anymore. She had tried everything, coaxing her, cheering her, comforting her and yet, nothing made Nagisa react. She stayed in bed all day, trying to sleep the time away and only getting out to perform some hygienic basics.

"Nagisa," her mother entered the room and knelt by her side. Nagisa barely had enough energy to turn around. "What's happening? I don't understand and seeing you like this it- it"

And with no prior warning, Kazashi burst into tears. "It tears my heart. I can't help- If you don't want to tell me, I can't help but- but you're my daughter and I want to help. I… I hate seeing you like that. I know you need your space and I tried to give you that because you are different but-"

And in answer to her mother's tears, Nagisa finally asked. "Kaa-san… Am I broken?"

"What- Why?"

"A-am I broken? Because I can't- I can't make friends."

Her voice was wobbly but her eyes remained dry.

"Who told you this?" Kazashi furiously rubbed her eyes. "You're not broken. You're different and it's okay, it's not your fault."

Not her fault?

"But I-" Her eyes were burning, her throat was hoarse and that damned door was cracking again. "I never do the first step."

"So? It doesn't matter who does the first step and it doesn't matter who does the next. As long as each step is reciprocated, who did what doesn't matter. Okay?"

Nagisa burst into tears.

"I don't know how-" she sobbed, wiping a forearm angrily over her eyes, "how to be normal!"

The door slammed open and a liquid as black as ink spilled out, staining the corridor of her mind.

Her emotions were running free and wild, wreaking havoc in her mind.

It was so stupid!

"Oh, Nagisa," Kazashi scooped her into her arms, laying down next to her.

Curling up and burying her face in her chest, Nagisa tried to defend her view only to choke on her words.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she make friends? Even her father found that weird!

"It's okay, angelfish," Kazashi murmured in her hair. "There is no need to be normal, it's overrated. Be yourself, be happy with yourself. That's what mattered."

"But- but," her tears wouldn't run dry no matter how her mother tried to soothe her. "I can't make friends if I'm myself!"

She wanted just _one_ friend.

Was it too much to ask?

One friend?

Someone who understood her, had the same interests and just... was there for her.

Someone to listen to her when she was whiny and tired or when she wanted to babble about her hobbies. Someone who could bring her smile back.

Someone like her Uchiha.

She _missed_ him so _fucking_ much.

Why did he have to die in the first place? Why did he abandon her? She needed him! He should have known that! He should have known that she couldn't live without him, that she would do something so incredibly stupid to bring him back.

And now she was here. In Uzushio. And she was tasting what she had yearned for so long; she had a family and was surrounded by clan members and- and she was in Uzushio, where she belonged. But she knew that it would all be taken away from her. And she didn't know when and- and-

It hurt. Everything hurt _so_ much.

Her mother's chakra bristled and her eyes burned with a fierce flame. "There will be people who will want to be your friends, who will love you because you are an incredible little girl and they will see that."

Nagisa nodded and tried to burrow deeper in her mother's chest. It was warm and smelled like _home_.

"I'm sorry…"

"What for?"

"For worrying you, for being such a bother." Nagisa sobbed helplessly.

She was such a mess, sad and so terribly tired of this weight that found its home in her chest. It didn't appear overnight, no, it grew over the years until every morning became a struggle to even get up.

"You're not a bother, you'll never be one. I'm your mother, I'm here for you, to listen to your problems. So never think that sharing with me is bothering me." Kazashi sighed, rubbing her back. "I feel like you've been keeping a lot of things inside, and for too long, and it created those thoughts. It's not good to keep things inside, Nagisa, it will only hurt you more. Especially when you'll become a full-fledged shinobi."

_But… I don't want to become a shinobi_, a tiny voice inside her whispered, growing fainter and fainter as Nagisa did her best to lock her away.

"I hate crying." She huffed angrily, rubbing her eyes against her mother's collarbones.

Kazashi bit back a laugh, shoulders trembling a bit and chakra blanketing her with a warm fondness.

"But it's good for you. You need to get everything off your chest."

And she did.

They stayed in each other's embrace for a long time, even after Nagisa ceased to cry. At some point, Yukio woke up and when he realized that they were cuddling, begged to be with them. She softly rubbed her cheeks against her brother's hair, burrowing her nose in it and inhaled.

He smelled like that powder that her mother used to put on her and- and salt, but more particularly, like _home_.

She may have lost a precious person and she probably will grieve it all her life, but there were some precious people here too, and they mattered just as much.

Her eyelids were growing heavier by the seconds, and Nagisa didn't have the will to keep them from closing much longer.

"You know we are here, okay?" Kazashi asked, a soft whisper in her ears. Nagisa hummed lowly. "And we love you."

"Even Tou-san?"

"Even Tou-san."

* * *

Grief was a powerful beast, one that remained untamed would slow people down until they died. A slow burn, if you wish. It weighed down on her, like an anchor dragging across the seafloor, and started to take roots in her throat. It was like drinking wet sand, it choked and clogged, bringing tears to her eyes with each breath and the only thing she could do was fiercely clinging to the hope that one day it would get better.

It was that same hope that forced her to get up and get things down every day. Because it would, things will get better for a time before going down again and the cycle would repeat again and again. That was how life treated the ones it inhabited.

Nagisa couldn't slow down; there were expectations she needed to meet and things she needed to do. A brother to take care of and parents to make proud.

It was scary, though, to move forward. She needed to leave things behind to do so, and it terrified her. She never had to do that in the Before, the choices were made for her. But now, she was the one at the helm of the ship; everything she would and wouldn't do was going to impact the future. No matter what.

After seven long years, she finally realized that: her past was now her present. And the only thing she could do was her best. Her best to become stronger, wiser, better with the hope of protecting Uzushio.

But, – Nagisa bit her lips- she had no idea when exactly she was. She wasn't even sure if her grandmother was born yet or not –admittedly, she wasn't close with her relatives and had missed too many family dinners to be in the loop.

She knew one thing, she was older than her grandmother, and if she were to believe her faulty memories, Sango had been quite old – nearing the 100 years old - when it happened. So, the only thing she could do was preventive. And that meant… _sealing_.

Yukio tugged on her hand, bringing her attention back on his tiny self and his big cheeks –her fingers itched to poke.

"Look!" he pointed toward a stand. "I want to look."

With a small huff, Nagisa followed at a more leisurely pace. She couldn't really fault him, though. It has always been her favorite stand in the whole market too. The glass-makers stand.

Nagisa had always been the utmost fascinated by the workers. They would mold beads and vase with the twist of a hand, adding colors and details like it was nothing. Their movements were fast and precise and she loved the smell it emitted when they cooled it in the sea.

Holding Yukio's hand, they both watched the men worked diligently. One worker with eyes as clear as the sky and with the skin as tanned and wrinkled as tree trunks raised a hand at them and smiled. Her brother happily waved in answer.

"Come on, we still need to buy the fish."

Slowly tugging on his hand, Nagisa weaved in the crowd. She amusedly dodged a seller that tried to wrap a bracelet of pearls around her wrist with a 'not interested'. Her brother remained glued to her side, their chakra firmly intertwined. No way she would lose her brother now.

She exhaled contently. Today was a good day, Nagisa knew it.

It was then it happened. For the first time in seven years, the storm bells rang.

Everyone froze, the sea that was their chakras was unnaturally still.

_Dong. One._

One was for a small tempest. One was nothing to fear, just a breeze stronger than usual.

_Dong. Two._

Two was for larger tempests. Two was _go home or out of the wind and the water reach_.

_Dong_. She let go of her brother's hand for a second to rub the clamminess away from her hands. _Three._

Three was for the big storm, the one that promised destruction if fragile structures were left outside.

_Dong._ Her stomach fell somewhere between her two feet. _Four._

Four was for natural disasters, a hurricane or a tsunami. Four meant using barrier from the barrier units. Four meant _danger_.

_Dong._ Her inside was frozen solid. _Five._

Five was for human disaster. Five was for _attacks_. Five meant invasion, _danger. Death._

And danger meant fear and- The crowd burst into murmurs of worry then as the realization settled shouts and frenzy – fear meant panic.

It started with a man, one man that forced his way out, pushing people out of his way and then, the next thing she knew, she was being pushed around. Waves and waves of people crashed into her and each time she tripped and was pushed further away.

_No, not this way._ Their chakra bond stretched, and stretched, and thinned, and Nagisa was pushing and trashing around, digging her heels in the ground because her brother- her brother was not this way. And if they kept pushing them apart then-

It stung and hurt and scared her because the bond snapped and she could still feel how nestled together their chakra had been deep in her coils. Her chakra has just been ripped away from her brothers.

An electrifying panic surged through her spine. Yukio, Yukio was away and she needed to-

The sound her nose made when a palm hit it was sickening, the blood that invaded her mouth next was the only proof she needed to know: her nose was broken. The pain was bearable, but only because of the daily beating she took and her eyes watered almost immediately.

Blinded and panicked, it was only a question of seconds before her instincts took over.

She gripped a hand and pulled. A kick to the groin. One man stumbled, the other fell to the ground. Blood pumping something fierce, she turned around and fell into a stance.

One hand to the shoulder, the other raised right under the breast, straight back, elbow close and knees slightly bent, feet separated and light. No weight on your heels and no locked joints.

Fight whoever comes too close, fight back, defend yourself.

It took her a second to realize what she did and it was enough for her to be snatched away from the crowd. She ended up on a rooftop, a shinobi a meter away.

"Cut it out!" He barked and Nagisa blinked, brows knitting in confusion. "The killer intent, stop it."

_Oh…_

She had been broadcasting her chakra and her emotions? That would explain things, notably why the crowd was this panicked. All because I used killer intent… She nodded, taking a deep breath and reigning in her panic. Her chakra came naturally back to her.

"Wait! Shinobi-san!" She stopped him right before he leaped off the roof, "My brother! He is four and lost in the crowd and I-"

Her voice broke.

Nagisa was losing her mind. Her brother, alone and lost in that crowd? Thousands of scenarios with horrible outcomes flood her mind. Her heart sped up, chakra slowly rolling out of her.

"Okay, I get it. Keep your chakra under control and I will find him."

"No! Let me come. I can localize him faster." She was his sister, his signature was imprinted in her mind. "Through chakra." She added when he gave her a dubious look.

The shinobi sighed but he ultimately presented her his back, crouching a bit. It was the only answer she needed as she jumped on his back and once she was glued to him, they took off.

It wasn't hard to find her brother, because he, in fact, wasn't in the middle of the crowd where all of their chakras were mixing and swirling with massive anxiety. He was in the back of an alley with someone else.

She jumped off the back of the shinobi mid-air - which wasn't her smartest idea - and fell to the ground in a roll and with a name on her lips. Yukio immediately pounced on her.

"Nee-san!" He opened his big lovely blue eyes and promptly cried. "I- I thought- I thought the people ate you!"

Nagisa simply held him and if a few tears ran down her cheeks, nobody said anything.

"Are you okay?" She crooked out, slowly prying him away from her chest before checking for any injuries. "Something happens?"

He shook his head, "No, the nice girl was here."

Nagisa heaved a relieved sigh before she eyed the girl carefully. Brown eyes, brown hair, and a simple outfit, the girl was looking particularly uncomfortable under her gaze, frowning, but a stubborn spark glinted in her eyes. _Huh, a challenge, then._

"Uzumaki-sam-"

Nagisa bowed deeply, "Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I don't know in what shape I would have found my brother." She closed her eyes, erasing any images of her brother lying on the ground, stomped and dead out of her mind.

It threw the girl off, for a second, before a frown was back on her face.

"Of course, I won't let a child die if I can help it."

Nagisa squinted her eyes; why did he feel like she was acting all mighty with her? She shook her head, it didn't matter. Yukio tugged on her wrist, once.

"Nee-san…"

Nagisa shushed him.

"Shino- Ah…" She turned around, expecting to see the shinobi only to realize that he left them. "Well, there goes my plan for a piggyback ride to safety…"

The girl scoffed, pushing her chest out to look bigger than she was.

"Nee-san…!" Yukio tugged impatiently now. She ignored it in favor of the girl.

Okay, she was starting to get on her nerves now. "What's your problem now?"

"My- my problem? My problem is when little princess like yo-"

"Nee-san!" Yukio all but screamed.

"What?" She snapped back.

Her brother took a step back, eyes wide open, looking scared, and whatever expression she was wearing fell immediately. "Yukio, I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"- Hey, are you listening?!"

"I hear weird noises."

Nagisa frowned, tilting her head to listen carefully. "The only weird noise here is her voice."

"How dare you?" The girl looked like an offended wet cat. A hand put on her chest, she made the louder offended noise Nagisa has ever heard. "My voice is made to communicate underwater-"

She didn't hear it. She _felt_ it, as in multiple foreign chakras. _Icy_. Nagisa knew it meant nothing good.

And just like that, Nagisa understood four things.

One, the girl would attract the foreign chakras if she kept growling like that.

Two, her brother was a sensor and a much better one than she.

Three, the barrier units didn't manage to raise the barrier in time and the invaders were in Uzushio.

Four, they were outside and alone. No doubt, the shinobi likely engaged them, leaving the small weaklings behind.

_Fuck._

She pounced on the girl, keeping Yukio close and behind her.

"What?-"

"Be quiet! The enemies are near."

She could literally see the terror craving into every inch of her expression; pale skin, eyes wild and white lips.

"Wha… What? What do you mean?" She saw the moment realization struck her. Her voice broke. "I- I don't want to die, I have- I don't-"

Nagisa winced at the fingers that clutched her shoulders but the pain helped keep her own bubbling panic under control.

_Calm down_, she needed her emotions to stay under control, _and think_. Easier said than done, true but with the girl breaking down in front of her, she had to keep control.

Her tiny brother's chakra twirled and swirled anxiously and his little pond started to ripple. He wanted very much to start crying like the girl but Nagisa couldn't let it happen. She already had one meltdown on her arms, two would be too much.

Nagisa sent her chakra around him, blanketing him and did her hardest to project an ease she wasn't feeling.

Bringing her brother even closer, she turned her attention back to the girl and slowly pried her grip off of her shoulders.

"Hey, hey. It's okay, nothing will happen, alright? None of us will die, I will make sure of that. Okay?" The girl looked into her eyes but her breathing still grew heavier. "But I need you to calm yourself for that. I can't do this alone." A nod. "Good. Take a deep breath, hold a few seconds and exhale. Do that a few times."

Honestly, she had a vague idea of what she was doing only because she had been in a similar situation before, just a few months after old Sango-obaa-chan died. Tracked down by some slaver hunter-nin, she had to run and hide. He was after her for a week before he gave up. She was going to remember the sheer terror she felt during that week all her life.

It was the same fear, only multiplied by ten because of Yukio, but still… She knew what to do. Or the basis at least.

_Keep calm and think. Outsmart them. It's your home, your streets._

"Alright…" She frowned a bit, looking at the neck of the girl before raising her brows. "You're from the Daiba clan, right? You have-" And she gestured her neck.

The girl nodded again. "Gills," she rasped out, "I'm Miru, Miru Daiba."

Nagisa nodded, "I'm Uzumaki Nagisa and it's-"

"Yukio!"

"My brother Yukio." Nagisa nodded, sparring him a fond look before concentrating on the icy chakras once more.

They didn't appear to have felt them as no one went their ways, but she also knew that her sensing range was something like 5O meters and so, if she could feel them, they were already quite close and they could probably feel them too.

They simply weren't of any interest to them as of now. It might change, though, and Nagisa wasn't going to let that opportunity passed.

"We need to move," she whispered, her hand cupping the back of her brother's head. Really, she was going to suck all of her nice emotions out of her if that meant keeping him calm. "No noise and this way."

_All right, let's get out of here alive._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, we are! So... Multiple things.
> 
> First, half of the chapter wasn't planned to be like that, like... it just happened. Another thing is that this chapter is, in fact, part 1 of chapter 4. Part 2 is when we meet Mito.
> 
> At first, Nagisa was supposed to actually hunt the big cat but she threw me a curveball and now, she had a mental breakdown. It happens, I guess, but it was long due!
> 
> Why, you ask?
> 
> Because Nagisa is an unreliable character in the sense that, she will lie to herself. So when she said that she could roll with it in a previous chapter, what she meant is "I'm gonna ignore it until I can't". It's not healthy, bottling things is a very bad idea because it festers in your heart and you lose your cool.
> 
> I tried to show that she was slowly losing her cool in the previous chap, with her reactions to Yakihiro and others. Won't say I foreshadowed that well, but it's especially hard when the chapter covers multiple years.
> 
> The other breakdown, because, yes she had to realize that she forgot... My poor Shisui... T.T But memories are incredibly tricky, they come and go as they want and one tiny thing makes you remember something, usually fun facts in my case but we will see for Nagisa. Also, why just the Uzumaki, you may ask. Well, she had been surrounded by Uzumaki, that part of her memories has been stimulated for seven years unlike everything else.
> 
> Also, my original plan was to write her young days in the first six chapters before she's faced with the Senju BUT there is also a lot to cover in Uzushio and finally, I've decided that I'm going to take my time and take time to build things and all, so don't expect the Senju now. But Mito will be here next chapt', promise!
> 
> I think I've rambled long enough.
> 
> So what did you thought about the chapter? Good? Bad? Anxious for Nagisa? What do you think of Nagisa's parents, Kazashi and Daichi?
> 
> Anyway, I'm off. Take care!


	6. Where is my epic music?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I guess the shut down brought you that chapter far faster than expected.
> 
> Here is chapter 5 (betaed by Deece, thank you).
> 
> Hopefully, you will like it and don't hesitate to leave a small review; always appreciated!

_Chapter 5: Where is my epic music?_

* * *

_Not today,_ she thought with gritted determination.

They won't die today. Heart beating with the strength of the earth moving, she indicated a small alcove a bit further. "Let's hide there."

Their feet stumbling around was all she could hear, a soft buzzing muting everything around. They were running up the street toward the side of the mountain with one train of thought in mind: hide in the caves, as everyone else did. Join the others, join safety.

Miru nodded curtly, abiding by her idea. They picked up the pace, wind whistling past their ears until they reached the small alcove.

Anxiousness and unease crawled across her skin, the feeling of something wrong happening choked her before it released its hold the next second. She shook her head, leaning against the building for support.

It was weird; the colors were grimmer than she was used to; almost like the island was losing its life. The wind was starting to pick up, dark clouds hovering and growling. A tempest was coming. They needed to get to the caves as fast as they could!

Yukio cuddled her side, seeking comfort and almost melting against her leg. His small heart was beating uncomfortably fast, not unlike her own.

She felt a pulse in her hand, an urge, an itch that made her fingers twitched. To provide comfort, to give reassurance. Her hand ghosted over his hair delicately, freezing and almost recoiling when her shaking wouldn't cease. Fear was nestling in her guts and clogging her throat and she feared that her false bravado act wouldn't hold for much longer.

She took a deep breath. "We need to reach the-"

A subtle thought, one drilled into her by Yakihiro-sensei suddenly forced its way in her mind. _Never, absolutely never, reveal the localization of the civilians. Walls have ears and may not be friendly._

She bit her tongue.

"The?" Miru asked expectantly, barely out of breath unlike she was.

"To safety," Nagisa corrected herself, patting her brother's head. "You okay?" She whispered and he nodded against her legs, a small whimper barely leaving his mouth. "You're a very brave boy, I'm glad you are my brother."

"But where is safety?" Miru urged and Nagisa frowned. There was something wrong here, but… she couldn't put a name on it.

"You know where it is… Everyone knows where it is."

Even without living on Uzushio but on one of the smaller islands further away, the citizens knew that. It was taught at the Academy.

She gasped, clutching her shirt. A new kind of urgency shot through her; she needed to get to safety. She wanted to be protected. She felt so small and so weak, even the tiniest breeze would break her and-

Yukio fiercely clung to her hand, eyes spilling tears. "Make it go away…" His voice was weak as if in pain and Nagisa felt a new kind of panic surge through her.

"What- What's happening? Yukio, what's wrong?"

And with a small sob, he answered: "The noise. It's so loud."

The… noise? What noise? She couldn't hear any noise.

...

** _She couldn't hear any noise._ **

It dawned on her, finally, that the street was calm. Too calm for an invasion, so why? Where was everyone else? It was then that she realized tiny details that made no sense. Why Miru wasn't exhausted. Why the sky was so dark. Why the building felt so wrong.

Her teeth sunk into her cheeks, hard and her hands formed the appropriate sign. "Release!"

The reality was very different.

Screams and songs of metal clashing. The storm bell ringing. The smell of smoke and blood, of death. A bright sky that illuminated the alcove enough and a man holding a knife – it wasn't a kunai – to Miru's throat who looked as terrified and as panicked as a child in her situation could be.

It was chaos, and Nagisa wanted to slap herself for not expecting that. She never thought invasion – and war – was messy. In her mind, whenever she heard about wars, she always figured them to be ordered and tactical

Nagisa clutched Yukio, keeping her behind her and out of the man's sight.

"You should have stayed in that genjutsu, it would have been easier for you. You wouldn't have seen death coming, you wouldn't have felt a thing… But you had to release the genjutsu and without even answering the question…"

She could barely see his eyes. He must have been triple her size. A burly man. Lips opened, revealing crooked and yellow teeth. Spots and acne scars.

"You've been a very bad girl, little Uzumaki. And bad girls are punished."

"Wha-?" She choked, head spinning and ready to throw up, feeling dizzy beyond her mind or maybe it was due to the rancid fear that suddenly crawled over her.

The air felt as though it had been crushed from her lungs and clogged her throat. Her heart fluttered against her ribs, speeding up until it felt like it would burst. He was threatening her. No, he was promising her.

"But I could change my mind if you were to reveal the location of the civilians."

Miru choked something, eyes wide and watering, and Yukio sobbed harder in her back.

"I-" The situation was spiraling out of control and Nagisa had no idea what to do.

"If you don't start to talk, I will start with your friend." He brought the Daiba girl closer and her fear couldn't have been more transparent as broken pleas spilled from her lips.

"Wait- I-" What to do? What to say? Her mind was reeling. She should go, leave her and protect her brother. It would be bad for her conscience and she would break her unspoken promise but at the end of the day, she was a stranger. Yukio was her treasure.

But…

But she couldn't, not anymore, not like she used to.

There were values deeply ingrained in her since rebirth; Uzushio was a community, united. Everyone protected the community and the community protected them. No one was left behind – except the poor and disabled but that wasn't something they talked about.

Work, knowledge, and community. They were the three prominent values on which Uzushio was built on.

The man suddenly tensed before pushing Miru away. He barely had the time to deflect two kunais that a shinobi fell from the rooftop. The man slashed at him in a wide arc, the shinobi countered with his own blade and with a series of kicks, the knife was sent to Nagisa's feet.

The shinobi's blade found its way in the man's throat with a sickening noise.

Nagisa winced and kept Yukio's face pressed against her while Miru was stopping the blood flow in her other arm.

"You okay, kids?" The shinobi's voice was rough but gentle. Nagisa nodded. "Alright, let's bring you to safety."

Ignoring the blood and the gore, Nagisa urged her brother and Miru to jump on his back before collecting the knife for herself. "I can follow." She said when the shinobi looked at her expectantly.

"Really? It would be faster if I carry you." He tilted his head, eyeing her strangely.

"You need your hands to defend yourself. I can do it." Nagisa squared her shoulders with determination.

She had learned tree-walking last year and was currently on her way to master water-walking. Yakihiro-sensei also taught her how to strengthen her body with chakra, giving her extra boosts. He even had her running around a lot of time – to buy groceries in his stead, the asshole.

She wouldn't be as fast as he was but she could follow decently.

The shinobi nodded. "Then keep up." And jumped over the rooftop, Nagisa right behind him.

It was chaos, Nagisa didn't linger too much but from the little she saw, it was pure unadulterated chaos. Something caught her gaze. Shinobis and invaders were fighting across the blue-green sea with two huge ships. The Uzumaki, a huge battleship with three masts and swirls on the sails, churned and turned to face two smaller ships with blue sails and white strips.

"Kid." Nagisa jumped, a hand reaching for the blade. The shinobi was watching her expectantly. "We can't linger here."

"Yes," Nagisa nodded, sage decision, and remained focused on his back. "What's your name?"

He adjusted his grip on Yukio, who whimpered and sobbed against his neck, before glancing over his shoulder. "Why?"

"I want to know the name of the man who saved me and my brother's life." Nagisa rolled her eyes. _Paranoid shinobi,_ she thought despite knowing she ought to be more on guard.

"And Miru's life too," she added after a second, eyeing the drips of snots and tears the girl was leaving on his back.

"Sora Wakatake."

"A pleasure, I'm Nagisa Uzumaki and that's Yukio, my brother, and Miru Daiba." Nagisa jumped over a chimney and stumbled on a loose tilt.

"You know, you're awfully calm and chatty for the situation."

"Delayed shock reaction, I guess." Nagisa hummed, contemplating her lack of emotions. She shrugged, _better that than a panic attack, I guess_.

Sora grunted, taking the lead once more.

They were going up, she realized, away from safety. She grimaced.

"Hey, why-"

"Watch out!"

The whistling sound of a kunai slicing through the air reached her ears too late. The shinobi threw his own kunai to deflect it while she pained to comprehend what happened. She watched the tag of a kunai buried in the roof near her foot with growing horror. Her eyes reached a new width, ready to pop out of their sockets.

The next second, the tag went off and the roof exploded.

She would have shared the same tragic fate of the roof and its tiles were it not for the arm that caught her chest and sent them a few roofs away. She crashed against a chest and they rolled some more.

"Kid!" Over the nasty ringing in her ears and the screaming of her brother, she heard Sora called for her.

"Here!" Her savior grumbled – screamed? At this point, she couldn't tell the difference. "Get the kids out of here, I'm taking care of the brat."

_Brat…?_

She breathed in the scent of sea, smoke, and blood, her hand clutching his shirt desperately just as the newly reformed link between her brother and she snapped once more.

"You okay, brat?"

"Sensei!" She choked out, all of her emotions kicking her in the throat and amongst them, relief was the strongest.

Shock time was over it would seem.

One hand firmly pressed against her shoulder blade, Yakihiro-sensei rolled to his feet, pulling her up with him.

"Now is not the time for that, Nagisa. The enemies are coming. Survive first, cry later." Nagisa nodded, swallowing the growing knot before she took the kunai he was presenting her. "Stay close and dodge. Go for the kill only if you're sure you can make it, otherwise distract them and I will take care of them. Stay sharp-"

He may have tried to tell her other things but two invaders reached their roof. Nagisa shook her head.

She couldn't afford to get lost in her own head right now unless she wanted to die.

Taking deep, slow breaths, Nagisa felt herself settle, little by little as she watched the two shinobi enemies circled around them.

She wanted to go back to Kaa-san and Yukio, she wanted to return to the Lighthouse and bothered her grandpa and she wanted to learn more.

There hadn't been much choice, but she'd been overall happy as Nagisa. She'd loved most of the training she'd been doing, and a lot of it had been outright fun.

She could do this. She could _survive_.

She highly doubted she was the kind of person who'd rather kill themselves than hurt anyone else, anyway. She was too selfish.

She wanted to _live_.

There had been an unspoken agreement that Nagisa was unaware of going on because the next instant, they all moved and she was left to defend herself.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, her opponent wasn't as skilled as he could have been. He was young, strong and not experimented, just like her – except for the strong part. She was small and quick on her feet. She could easily dodge. And she did.

She kept dodging, knuckles white around the handle of the kunai, jumping, rolling, sliding, and dancing around his swings with all the grace of her family's taijutsu. Sometimes she had to deflect. Sometimes it grazed her.

But it was clear that the shinobi was growing more and more upset by her evasiveness. Ah! Wasn't she glad that Yakihiro-sensei drilled into her the fine art of dodging?! It had been a pain and a half to learn but now it was paying off.

The blade nicked her cheek; Nagisa took a bigger leap back. It was enough for the shinobi to drop his blade and weave signs.

Nagisa jumped off the roof just as a water dragon closed his jaws where she had been a second earlier. With a roll, she ran out of the alley, barely missing the kunai sent her way.

Two kunais whistled near her ears, one for her, the other to stop the first.

At least, she knew Yakihiro-sensei was still watching over her. Nagisa jumped around and faced her opponent once more.

They danced again, until she slipped on a pebble, the wide slash aiming for her throat cut her chin deeply.

She bit her cheek, tasting blood.

His face was so close, _too close, get away_\- and in her panic, she threw her kunai. It reached its destination – because, come on, the man was hovering her – and the shinobi grunted but remained in her face.

She rolled, crying out when his knife cut her side. He wasn't given her time to breathe and she wouldn't keep up much longer and that fucking scared her.

"Sensei!" She screamed, because she needed his help and now, but she never received an answer.

The glint in her opponent's eyes told her it was the end. "This is where you die."

As he raised his blade, Nagisa moved.

"Yes," A kunai pierced through his throat; the man went wide-eyed before gurgling something, "this is where you die."

Lo and behold, Yakihiro-sensei appeared behind the man, swiftly pulling out his kunai. Nagisa could have cried her happiness if it wasn't for the rush of adrenaline that muted her emotions.

The man fell on his back, a knife that didn't belong to her sensei deeply buried in the man's chest and her kunai jammed in his leg. Sensei blinked.

"Sorry for taking so long. Those Yohei bastards are like weeds, you take one out and ten others take his place."

"I'm not sure that's the right comparison." She panted, heart fluttering like a panicked bird. The adrenaline was making her giddy and itchy.

Sensei shrugged as he pulled the knife out before presenting her. "Here, I believe this is yours."

Nagisa reached for it with trembling and bloody hands. Deep breaths, slow and easy.

Ignoring the way her breath trembled ever so slightly, Nagisa clenched her teeth. It shouldn't be that hard to take one knife but each time she tried to take it, each time she felt the blood dripping down the handle on her hands, she faltered.

Yakihiro-sensei was looking, she could feel it, but she chose to ignore it. _Come on, just take it already_. She armed herself with stubbornness and finally took the knife.

It felt heavier in her grip, and she-

"It's okay," he pushed her in an alley, one hand on her back. "It's a perfectly normal reaction."

Nagisa tried to nod, she tried to do something- but she couldn't.

"It's your first time." She hated the kind tone he took; it was soothing. She hated, even more, the fact that it was working. She tried to keep her breathing under control. "You did great, I will get you to safety now."

"What about the kunai?" She asked with a small voice. It was getting harder to think; that cold veil her mind conjured was lifting and the buzzing thoughts started again.

"Leave it, someone will need it." He rubbed her shoulders, sending a small amount in her muscles to help her relax. "You can let it go now."

She burst into tears, heaving and leaning against her sensei for support. He gently took her knife away and put it between that kind of obi and her tunic. Once that was done, he gently shifted her on his back and they left.

Nagisa immediately buried her face against his neck.

Sensei brought her to the Lighthouse and the intense feeling of its chakra against her coils relaxed her more than it should. _Home, safety_.

She took a deep breath.

"Nagisa?" Sensei asked, tightening his hold on her leg. She tilted her head slightly. "I didn't ask but are you hurt?"

"My chin. He cut it. I also broke my nose earlier. Some cuts too." She croaked, slightly blinking at the man. He hummed.

"He must have grazed your chin, then, there wasn't any wound when I found you."

"What?" She sluggishly patted her chin, frowning, and found that he was right. Weird, she could have sworn… "But… I felt the blade cutting. I felt the blood running down my neck, and I'm sure it's still here and-"

"Calm down, brat." He slowly put her back on her feet despite her protest. He finally knelt to meet her eyes. "You were filled to the brim with adrenaline, I wouldn't put it past you to have fallen into a state of hyper-awareness during your fight. Every one of your senses would have been heightened to the point of being painful. It happens, nothing wrong with that. Got it?"

"But-" Nagisa closed her mouth, swallowing a retort and nodded slowly, brows moving this and that way. _But my nose isn't broken anymore…_

Instead, she focused on Yakihiro. He looked paler than he should, his skin was clammy and his face spasmed a bit as if he was covering a grimace under a careful mask of calm.

"Are you alright, Sensei?"

Nagisa frowned when he didn't immediately answer, stared straight at him until he sighed.

"Asshole broke my arm." He mumbled sheepishly, scratching his head and in this instant, he looked like his age: a young adult with hair brighter and too many responsibilities on his shoulders. She had no idea training her was _that_ tiring.

Her eyes widened almost comically and he put a hand on her head before she could flail. "Calm down. We're going to see the medic."

Nagisa nodded dumbly, biting down on the thread of guilt that was menacing to choke her.

He carried her while being hurt…

* * *

The lighthouse was buzzing with activities; stern shinobis everywhere, moving quickly and quietly. Nagisa had never seen that many shinobis in the Lighthouse before.

She watched Sensei talking with someone dispassionately. To be fair, she was feeling quite out of it, so that probably was why she couldn't muster the courage to understand what they were saying. After a brief moment, the shinobi indicated a direction and they were off.

After many turns and some row of stairs - _ugh…_-, they reached unfamiliar ground; she never had explored that part before. Finally, Yakihiro pulsed his chakra and they entered a room. Multiple things happened at the same time.

"Nagisa!" A familiar voice called, followed shortly by a gasp.

She turned around quickly and spotted Kazashi with Yukio in her arms and the girl by her side. Yukio burst into tears when their eyes met.

"Kaa-san," she took one step their way before she was swiftly pulled back. "Wha-"

Yakihiro eyed her sternly, "Medic first, and try to mind your voice. This is the medical bay."

"But I'm fine," Nagisa argued weakly, " and Kaa-san is waiting."

Did he not see her family waiting for her? She needed to see them, to check that Yukio was well. Kaa-san had been home when it happened, so she wasn't very worried. But Yukio…

"I'm sure, Kazashi-san would prefer waiting a bit more and being sure you're fine than having you injured."

A sound argument, one that Nagisa couldn't counter. She knew when she was defeated -even if admitting it was like swallowing a hot kunai. "Fine…" And mouthed off an apology to her mother who simply shook her head with sad eyes.

The medic that checked on her has been kind, his chakra, warm like a small flame and he didn't look like the typical native of Uzushio. _Uh, a refugee_. Nagisa let him do his magic. Then, he took her to a small room with the order to wash.

If he realized that Nagisa scrubbed her hands more firmly than necessary, he didn't say anything.

Finally. _Finally_, after that was done, Nagisa was allowed to join her family. And she would have jumped in her Kaa-san's arms if she hadn't been tackled first.

"Miru," Nagisa called dryly. It's not that she was unhappy seeing the girl well but she wasn't _family_ and Nagisa wanted her family.

She wasn't prepared in the slightest for the rain of snots, tears, and apologies that fell from the girl's face.

Yet, between her "I'm so sorry" pleas and her "I thought you die" sobs, Nagisa couldn't help but remark how her insides warmed.

It felt kind of weird to have someone out of her family worried about her.

After that, Nagisa reached her family and cried on her mother for hours; cried because she had been scared, cried because she felt terrible - stabbing someone was easy, _too easy_ -, cried because she was relieved. Her mother cried a bit with her. They didn't talk, basking in the presence of the others.

Nagisa remained in her arms even after the bells rang once again, signaling the end of the raid.

She had no idea when she fell asleep.

She was on her feet, _the_ knife in hand before she could fully proceed what happened. Her mother's pained stare greeted her.

"What- What are you doing?" She said. Was she panting? It felt hard to breathe.

What had happened? She had been asleep in her room one moment and on her feet the very next. Why was her heart beating so loudly?

"Angelfish…? Are you okay?"

Nagisa nodded curtly.

"Then why are you protecting Yukio from us?" Daichi pointed out with tired eyes. Her hold on the kunai tightened for a second. She hadn't seen him here, she hadn't even felt him.

Her mother took a tentative step forward only to be pushed back by her father.

"I'm not-"

But she was.

She unconsciously placed herself between them and her little brother – whose looks of terrors and tears tore her heart – and she had adopted a fighting stance. She was protecting Yukio from her parents.

It finally sunk in.

_Oh no…_

Consciously unclenching her hand, she waited until the blade dropped to the ground to kick it away and take a few steps aside.

Yukio flung himself to her mother and cried in her embrace, rubbing his face in her shoulder and hiccupping about some monsters trying to hurt him.

So, that was it. The reason why she had been awakened battle-ready was that her little brother had a nightmare and she kept him from reaching their parents, _comfort_.

She swallowed loudly, the growing knot making it far too difficult. Guilt really was the worst, uh? She breathed through the nose.

Neither Nagisa nor Maria had ever been prone to nightmares before, so she couldn't really relate to him. To be fair, Nagisa couldn't remember her dreams most times, she just fell into a void to wake up later – except that one time she smoked with her Uchiha, which had given her some pretty weird dreams.

"Nagisa?" She perked up, eyeing her father with a sad face, "Come with me."

He led them outside, face blank, nothing betraying his thoughts. What was going to happen? Would she get scolded? They stared at each other, Nagisa slowly losing her cool.

He sighed as she opened her mouth.

"I've heard what happened," his shoulders visibly sagged as he sat on the stairs. "First kill, uh?"

She nodded slowly. She did not kill him on her own but she _participated_ and that was enough. She knew she shouldn't feel like that. Terrible. Sad. Guilty.

"You did good, Nagisa. You survive and I'm glad you did." Her father stated as a matter of fact. "They attacked us first and we protected ourselves. It was you or them, _Uzushio_ or them. And maybe I shouldn't say that but if it brought you back here I'm going to tell you to kill as many people as you must."

She burst, once more, into tears.

It felt so wrong; ending a life. It felt wrong because when he died, all she could feel was relief. Relief and a tiny, tiny bit of elation hidden behind her guilt. She felt powerful like she finally was the master of her destiny. And she needed someone's death to feel that.

She didn't like that.

"What if I hurt other people?" She gritted her teeth. It was hard to put words on her emotions at the moment. "What if I hurt my comrades? What if I hurt _Yukio_?" She finally hissed out, expressing the root of her fears.

If stabbing someone was so easy, how could she trust yourself not to do it inadvertently?

"I'm not good at this." Daichi deplored, rubbing his face.

Nagisa blinked. Her father stroked her tears away. _What?_

"I- what? What do you mean, Tou-san?"

"What you are feeling, your reactions and fears, it will only grow worse as you grow," her stomach fell to the ground. "It takes discipline and trust. Trust yourself because you are the one in control and as long as you don't want to hurt your loved ones, the chance of you killing them will be low."

She didn't know what to say. Her father seemed to have aged ten years more. "This life is very hard. That's why you need to find hobbies to cut you from this life or else… You might hurt the people you care about."

Nagisa nodded slowly, digesting the information. _A hobby, uh? _"Dancing?"

Daichi shook his head, "No, dancing is linked to taijutsu, it won't cut you from it. We introduce it that way because it's easier for the future shinobis to learn it. Funnier too, I guess."

He shrugged. Nagisa exhaled slowly.

_No dancing and no calligraphy either._

* * *

One had to marvel at how quickly and efficiently the citizens worked to rebuild the city. Armed with a shovel and a hammer, they moved around, helped the others and worked diligently until life in Uzushio resumed.

The week after the attack, they threw a feast. Smiles and shining eyes returned, music and alcohol too. Nagisa actually joined them - despite her mother's protests -, asking around what they were celebrating.

"Life," a kind old man answered, cheeks red and eyes glassy. "Would you care for a dance, little lady?"

She danced the whole night away, completely forgetting her promise to return before the moon reached its peak.

* * *

Her practices with Yakihiro-sensei had been reduced until his arm was healed; he had her train her aims in the meantime.

"Sensei, why didn't we run as Wakatake-san did?"

Her tone was a bit bitter and maybe she was resenting him a bit for that. Old habits die hard and Nagisa would have preferred if they simply ran, indulging in her instincts.

He hummed a bit. "They would have attacked him, so we stayed behind to cover them."

Nagisa nodded thoughtfully; it made sense.

* * *

It was a warm afternoon and Nagisa decided to take Yukio out to the beach. They settled near the forest, on the grass. Flowers were blooming nicely and Nagisa saw no harm in plucking them before weaving them into a flower crown.

She tried to teach Yukio the fine art of twisting flowers and grasses together but the boy was too relentless to stay in one spot. So she let him roam, keeping track of his chakra and continued her flower crowns.

It was strangely relaxing. It kept her hands busy and her mind quiet.

_Perhaps, I should give them? _Nodding to herself, she set to work.

By the time Yukio ran back to her, Nagisa had weaved three crowns and was on her way to finish her fourth. She didn't immediately register the anxious rolling out of the boy but when she did, her hands froze.

"Yukio, what is it?" She pursed her lips when he didn't immediately answer. If she had a tail right now, Nagisa imagined it would be whipping about in agitation.

"It's- Oh! It's pretty." Nagisa blinked, realizing her brother was talking about her art. "Can I touch it?"

"Better," she smirked, putting one - her prettiest - on his head. "You can have one."

Yukio beamed at her before he delicately touched the flowers on his head.

"So, what did you want?"

Yukio blinked at her, once, twice, thrice before the light bulb switched on. "It's the girl, Kishi is mean to her."

Ah.

Quick as a sparrow, Nagisa shot to her feet. His explanation has been vague enough to tickle her curiosity.

"Where?"

Yukio took her hand and they were off.

"What did you say? You shouldn't talk to me-"

Nagisa knew they reached their destination before she saw them. Kishi, her kinda estranged cousin, had always a sneer in his voice and was the reason why she refused to go to their family's dinner anymore. He had mastered the ability to get on her nerves in less than ten seconds.

"Don't you know who I am? I'm-"

"Kishi, that's enough." She didn't mean to interrupt him - no, jokes, she totally did it on purpose.

Her sort-of cousin and his two friends - because, _of course_, he couldn't be alone - whipped their heads toward her as one man. Neither of the three could be older than thirteen but one had hit a growth spurt early and was big enough to give Nagisa a pause.

The corner of Kishi's eyes crinkled, a mean glint shining in his eyes. He fully turned toward her.

She disliked Kishi from the very first time she met him. Kishi was not a shinobi, nor was he planning to be one, so he had been raised with the mindset of a civilian. He was sexist. The first thing he told her was that a woman could never be a good ninja and that she should focus on learning how to be a good wife instead. She had been four and him, nine. Adding to that, he was the first grandson of her grandfather's brother. As a result, he had been spoiled rotten and ended being an arrogant, sexist asshole.

But it wasn't any of these personality traits that made her unable to stand him. It made him despicable, yes, but Nagisa could deal with that. In small doses. No, what stopped her was simple.

In the middle of their triangle, crumpled on the ground, Miru looked at her with glassy, furious and desperate eyes.

Kishi was a _bully_.

"Well, well, well. Look at that, it's the princess who wished to be born as a prince."

Nagisa took a deep breath, calming that twisted dark side of her that thirsted for retribution. Funny how this side of her only manifested with assholes. She raised a brow instead.

"Is that all you've got?" She crossed her arms, cocking her hip. "No, because you always say the same things as some broken parrot. You should try again when you learn some comebacks, okay?"

She smiled sweetly with Yukio looking confused next to her.

He didn't expect that and Nagisa took great joy in watching the colors draining from his face. Kishi squared his shoulders while his two goons sneered at her, grumbling some insults.

Well, that sure calmed the-

"But you didn't come alone, you brought your little brother. Or sister?"

Yukio fell into his trap and responded fiercely. "No, I'm a boy!"

"Really? But you're wearing a crown, like a _girl_." Regaining his confidence, Kishi took a step toward them.

Nagisa lost track of the stupidity he was saying as she watched Miru standing up but she was quickly pushed back down. Nagisa scowled.

"Hey-"

Yukio took her hand, hiding behind her. Kishi scoffed.

"So, you're just a useless coward who needs the protection of his _sister_."

Nagisa flushed red as his goons laughed at her brother.

Red of what? Shame? Humiliation?

None of that.

The warmth she was feeling came from something else. It was a fierce flame of defiance that ignited her guts, pumped her heart and colored her cheeks. One that craved retribution and will stop at nothing to get it.

They insulted her baby brother.

_They could go fuck themselves._

They will learn, though, that angering her wasn't the brightest idea.

She threw the first punch. What followed was more a brawl than a fight.

* * *

She watched Kishi and his friends limping back toward the city with dark satisfaction. She won, naturally. But, Nagisa scowled as she moved her jaw, they still managed to land some punches. Which implied that she needed to train _more_ and against multiple opponents. That was going to be a pain...

There had been changes in her attitude after that attack. Changes triggered by her will to live. She had been struck by desperation and fear. And she could still taste that fear. It was in the way she chakra searched her surroundings. In the way her hands twitched when startled. And the fact that she always carried a kunai now.

She _froze_ and if it wasn't for sensei, she would have _died_. It couldn't happen again. She needed to become stronger and faster. She needed to train seriously.

Turning on her heels, she tilted her head, watching Miru dusting herself as blood trickled down her nose.

_Hopefully,_ Nagisa mused, _it's not broken_.

She had tried to join the brawl at some point. It didn't end well for her.

Yukio tugged her hand. "Nee-san, are you okay?"

She nodded. She was fine, annoyed that they landed some punches, but fine. The bruise blooming on her cheek would disappear soon enough.

His face, initially shining with worry, morphed into an adorable expression of awe, eyes shining like sapphires, small mouth open and chakra churning excitedly. The dam was broken and a flow of words left his lips.

"That was so cool! You win like it was nothing! You were like bam-", he punched the air, "-sha -", a kick, "-and they were like 'kyaa' and 'ouch'. And it was so so _sooo_ cool. Can you teach me?"

Nagisa couldn't help it, she laughed. It was a deep laugh that came from the belly and shook her shoulders while her insides were turning into a warm mush of fondness.

"Maybe," she hovered him with a smile and, without really thinking, she bopped his nose, " when you are older, okay?"

Yukio crossed his arm and pursed his lips, and on his chubby face, it was completely adorable. He looked like a pug - minus the wrinkles, mind you - with his tiny, chubby cheeks and his big eyes and she had such a _cute_ brother.

"Fine," he sighed. "You promise-"

" -I didn't need your help!"

Nagisa blinked, Woah, she actually forgot about her, and straightened.

Miru had fallen into a weird stance. Her fists were raised as if to attack but she was hunched over, to protect herself. She snarled and showed her teeth but her eyes shone with a lost and scared glint. She was like an injured pup snapping its maw in a warning.

"Meh, alright, if you think so." Nagisa shrugged, not in the mood to deal with that.

"Wh-what?" Whatever Miru had been expecting, it wasn't that.

"You heard me," She scratched her head, leaning a bit backward when her brother decided to use her as a wall. "If you think you could have taken them all by yourself then okay."

She watched as surprise and confusion colored her face, her stance faltering as she tried to regain her bearing before she puffed up.

"What? Are you making fun of me?" Nagisa raised a finger and opened her mouth to counter. Miru didn't let her the time. "You think I'm weak or something? I will show you wrong!"

And she was off, leaving Nagisa and Yukio watching the trail of dust she left behind.

"What's wrong with her?" He asked curiously.

She shook her head. "I have no idea… Want to make more flower crowns?"

Her brother cheered, raising his hands, and led the way back.

Nagisa's steps faltered and she threw one last glance Miru's way. She shrugged to herself.

It wasn't like she would come back.

* * *

Nagisa was wrong. She was very, _very_ wrong.

Miru tried again, and again, and again, and she was nothing if not stubborn.

Worst, most of the time Miru tried to contest her to a fight. _A. FIGHT._ Like didn't she realize that Nagisa was training to be a shinobi and Miru was definitely _not_? Did she lose some of her brain cells?

And each time, she was deftly deflected, tossed aside, knocked back, as if her attacks meant nothing. Though Nagisa had a hard time incapacitating her without hurting her, so at least, it taught her how to be more mindful of her strength.

Nagisa evaded a punch and took two steps back for the kick to completely miss her. She danced around her third attack to end behind her and with a lateral kick, swipe her feet from under her. Miru growled.

Nagisa took a step back and waited, eyes going half-lidded dispassionately. Those contests were starting to get old very quickly.

"Are we done?"

Miru's eyes shone fiercely; her fingers racked the earth. Nagisa was so sure she was going to be insulted when-

"Teach me!" Miru bowed.

Her eyes bulged from her head. "What?"

Nagisa was startled. No, scratch that, she was _gobsmacked_.

"Teach me how to fight like you. Teach me how to be strong like you." It was the most incredible thing she had ever seen.

Nagisa spluttered, her mind overheating, and she completely shut down.

_W-What?_

* * *

Miru became a quick friend. They bounded over fighting and their mutual hate for Kishi.

* * *

It took over three weeks for the school to be rebuilt, and three weeks more before Nagisa-sensei scheduled a meeting with her parents. Strangely enough, it was her father who came to the meeting. At first, they exchanged pleasantries and talked about her grades. Then, when her father started to show signs of boredom, Nagisa-sensei dropped the bomb.

"I've talked with Nagisa-chan about the possibility of finding her a tutor as her level is above anyone that could teach her here. She has potential and I would hate to be the one that curbed it, so, with her consent, I went ahead and found someone." She waited to gauge their reactions. "Do you still want it?"

Nagisa nodded firmly. She needed to learn more. Nagisa-sensei smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. Instead, she looked at her with something akin to pity in her eyes.

"Very well, your instructor will wait for you in the library." Then, she added as an afterthought, "His name is Sumi Uzumaki."

Daichi took a deep breath and winced_._ Dread pooled in her stomach. Her father _winced_. He turned toward her.

"Well, lionfish," Woah, the return of the nickname. Nagisa feared the worst now. "good luck with him."

Nagisa sweat profusely.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Yakihiro-sensei asked in his usual mood, which was acting like an annoyed cat. Though, since the attack, he was less rough.

"Hello to you too, Sensei!" Nagisa greeted with a teasing voice. "I'm glad to see you out of your bandages."

It took him a month and four days to heal.

"Your aunt died, Nagisa. What are you doing here?" Blood rushed out of her cheeks as her heart sank into her stomach. Her good mood plummeted. _What?_ She may well have said it as Yakihiro-sensei repeated.

"Your aunt died last night." A look at her blank face told him everything he needed to know. "You didn't know."

She shook her head mindlessly.

Her aunt died?

…

"W-which aunt are we talking about?" Nagisa swallowed the nauseating knot in her throat, eyes burning.

"Uzumaki Mizu."

Her shoulders sagged.

Nagisa hated herself. She hated herself for not remembering immediately who she was. She hated herself for feeling that affected when she barely saw her.

"I see… If you will excuse me, I'll take my leave."

And most of all, she hated herself for feeling relieved that it wasn't Rina.

* * *

There was a massive funeral for the wife of the second son of the Uzu-leader, civilians, and shinobi alike dressed in black to honor the woman's memory. Celebrate her life and acknowledge her passing. Mourn her.

Mizu died due to pregnancy complications and both the baby and her died, leaving behind two people.

Flowers were thrown on the path to the altar Namiyo and his daughter had to take. Drums produced a sad and slow rhythm until one shinobi dressed in black and red appeared. Then, it was silence.

Everyone could watch the shinobi approaching the two, kneeling in front of Namiyo before giving him a golden scroll.

During the whole ceremony, Daichi looked pale, tense and dazed, as if he wasn't really there.

And then, people went in a line to express their sorrows to the family. When it was Nagisa's turn, she didn't even dare to look at one of them. She expressed her well-wishes and her sorrows and gave the girl - her cousin that she still couldn't remember the name - a flower crow of blue peonies and sea-water lilies.

Namiyo choked on his breath, one hand curling into a fist. The girl broke down in tears and Nagisa was ready to panic.

"Nagisa?" With great difficulty, she managed to look at his face, concentrating on his nose. "Blue peonies were her favorite flowers. Thank you."

One more thing she didn't know about her aunt.

She was ready to go cry in a corner. She hadn't expected that. Closing her eyes and trying very hard to keep her tears from flowing, she nodded and left.

She immediately stopped when she heard a crash and turned around to spot- "Tou-san!" -hovering Namiyo with a fist raised as if, as if he punched him down.

"It's your fault," he roared at his brother and Nagisa took a step back. "It's your fault if she died!"

Nagisa was frozen. She has never seen her father this… this _angry_, and hurt, and… He was devastated. It was almost too much to watch the raw pain etched on his face. His voice broke.

When he made a move to strike again, though, two shinobis appeared to stop him. Nagisa watched her father being dragged out of the funeral with something like horror painted on her face.

Nagisa remained frozen in the middle of the alley until her mother came to collect her. Her face expressed nothing, but her eyes did and Nagisa nearly cried when she saw that.

* * *

The library was hidden inside the mountain and the only access was through a cave at the bottom of the island. A cave and an ungodly amount of stairs. The path to knowledge was full of stairs and Nagisa was already dreading it.

Panting, sweating and flushing red, she finally reached the library; the guard protecting it was watching with mirth in his eyes before he threw her his canteen of water. Nagisa gladly drank it all.

"Good climb?" She could hear the laugh in his voice.

"The best. And it's not like I will need to do that every day or something, uh?" She grumbled back, wipe sweat from her brows.

"Ah. You're the Sumi's new student, then." The guard was giving her a tight smile, patting her shoulder. "Good luck with him."

Nagisa frowned. Why was everyone wish her luck? Was he that terrible?

Shaking her head, Nagisa entered the library.

The inside was breathtakingly beautiful. Despite being inside the mountain, it was bright. _And the light_, Nagisa realized, _comes from inscriptions on the walls, from seals and… and quotes_. The interior of the library was made of stone, rich burgundy and gold. And there were books, too, rows and rows of books, so many that it caught Nagisa's breath and her steps faltered. Every wall was lined with shelves, bigger and higher than a whale, and stone spirals that reached the higher shelf. Every book was protected by a door of glass. And Nagisa could see no end to the room.

The library was vaster than she could imagine, with thousands of scrolls and books. _It must be_, Nagisa thought a bit delirious, _a library of a thousand cities_.

And the smell of ink, papers, and a hint of sea salt made her head spun. If Nagisa had to describe it, it was the smell of knowledge.

Shivers of excitement ran up and down her body and the urge to brush her hand against books, to read the titles, to feel the weight of them was impossibly hard to calm. There was so much to see, so much to learn and discover; it was like a part of her, one that had been denied for so long finally resurfaced.

She stepped closer to one wall, hand brushing against it with reverence: 'True knowledge of ourselves is knowledge of our power. Our strength comes from the power we give to words. Our power comes from knowledge.' The light the quote emitted was bright and-

A chair scraped against the floor and Nagisa turned around. It took her a few seconds to see - because she had blind herself with the quote - and when she did, her stomach fell.

"Hello," she tried, her smile wobbling, only to be hushed by someone somewhere - which _rude_ -.

Her cousin only gave her a sad, tired glance before she went back reading her book.

_Okay… And now, the silence is awkward._

She made things awkward now, didn't she? Nagisa wanted to flee. God, was it bad if she fled? Would Sumi-sensei scold her? Did she have to make things awkward? Well, kinda, because the last time she met her cousin it was at the funeral of her mother where her father punched Namiyo. Excuse her for being awkward.

Nagisa was slowly fidgetting on her spot, toes curling in her shoes. A bead of sweat was rolling down the back of her neck.

Her cousin had red hair and fat cheeks - like every young child -, an oval face and big, dark rings under her eyes like she hadn't slept for a while. She looked miserable and it resonated with a part of her.

Nagisa felt a sad pang vibrated in her chest and hitting some sore spots.

In a way, she knew what she was feeling. She lost someone that she cared deeply, that she loved and Nagisa could relate to her situation. Just like she lost Shisui, her cousin lost her mother and her unborn sibling.

"Ah," Nagisa jumped at the unfamiliar voice, "there you are. I thought you would be late. Good. Mito, Nagisa come."

The man was an old man; his hair was murky and dull, he had deep wrinkles and a severe face. He had a terrifying presence.

Nagisa glumped.

And-

_Mito!_

Of course, her name was Mito. Now she remembered, Mizu's bundle was named Mito. Mito Uzumaki.

A cold shiver ran down her body.

Her name was… Mito… Uzumaki.

Her heart drummed with more force than it should.

Nagisa was older than her Sango-obaa-sama and Sango-obaa-sama was younger than the legendary Mito. And Nagisa was born in the main family… just like Mito.

Her breath itched.

Mito was her cousin. Mito lived during the Warring States. That meant-

Oh.

She knew when she was.

_Oh._

_Mito Uzumaki_ was her cousin.

_Oh no._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here, we have it. Mito is here, Nagisa realized just how far back she is, and you will have a full chapter with Mito after this one. Also, next chapter is fuinjutsu, so be prepared!
> 
> True knowledge of ourselves is knowledge of our power is a quote written by Hale White.
> 
> So, what can I say about this chapter? One, Nagisa wasn't supposed to draw her first blood now. But she met Miru and she made a friend! A FRIEND! Yay!
> 
> Nagisa is a bit of a nerd when it comes to knowledge. And now, you learned a bit more about Uzushio and its library ( - totally inspired by the Library of Alexandria). I mean, the Uzumaki's strength comes from fuinjutsu; they totally are scholars.
> 
> So that's it for me!
> 
> I'm out!


	7. The terrible Sumi-sensei

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Nagisa learns fuinjustu with Mito, is stressed and impressed because this is the Mito, discovers that Sumi is a sadist that likes to hit people. Sumi explains the core of the theory behind fuinjutsu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> Small chapter here!
> 
> But first, you need to know that Deece has beta read me again and that some of the ideas for fuinjustu are theirs. Big thanks to you, Dee!
> 
> Now, have fun!

_Chapter 6: The terrible Sumi-sensei_

* * *

It felt like being kicked in the teeth by fate. Not one of those kicks that hurt and maybe dislodged a tooth or two. No, a kick that fucking obliterated her and sent her mind chilling with the Death Reaper in the third dimension.

She wasn't liking it one bit.

She was busy scrambling her mind back together and admiring the wall with dead fish eyes, re-evaluating her life choices was the next step on her lis-

The next thing she knew the bamboo stick slapped her lower back, hard. She bit back a yell and turned sharply to glare. She hated to admit it but the burning pain in her back was somewhat grounding her.

The pain was real; all of the _what-if_, _how_ and _oh fuck_ weren't.

"Focus," Sumi-sensei growled, chakra churning around her like a raging storm ready to swallow her, "I won't repeat myself. And do keep your posture. No fuinjutsu master slouches and neither should you."

Choking an insult back, Nagisa nodded. "Yes, sensei. Sorry, sensei."

He hummed lowly. "Next time, I expect a bow."

She had to bite her lips to make sure no noise left her mouth. _Excuse me?! Was he serious?_

The three of them sat in one of the many alcoves of the library. Sumi-sensei was observing them above the twirling steams of his tea. The corner of his lips tugged down a fraction when Nagisa relaxed her shoulders but he didn't say anything.

"As you must know, your position will influence your writing. Why?"

Nagisa blinked. Did the lesson start?

"Because," her cousin started - _Mito, her cousin. What the fuck?_. Her voice was soft and her posture, perfectly held. "Most strokes require an amplitude of movement. Slouching, sitting in lotus and all of that only hinder it. That's why the perfect position is seiza and straight back."

Was Nagisa a bit starry-eyed? Perhaps, but she supposed it was the appropriate reaction when you were sitting next to a living, breathing legend.

Mito was a legend alright; her grandmother made sure she knew that. Sango talked about her a lot, she _gushed_ about her like a teen in love. Mito did revolutionize fuinjutsu after all, especially with seal tattoos. Until her, seal tattoos were only a theory, something people talked over dinner with wine and saying '_man, that would be cool_' before backing down because of the _sheer_ complexity. And Mito made it a reality. And it worked?! How cool was that?

And that was before she single-handedly sealed the Nine-tail within her. She made a slapdash, last-minute, desperate seal and it _worked_. She became the _first_ container of a Tail Beast. The level of skills it required was mind-boggling.

And Nagisa was sitting _right next to her_.

Excuse her while she freaked out, threw up, and leaped in joy. And not necessarily in this order.

Sumi-sensei nodded, appearing pleased before pointedly staring at her. Nagisa adjusted her position, biting her lips. _Grounded, stay here, Breathe..._ Once he was satisfied, he took a clay tablet out and started the lesson.

"Very well, the two of you are here because of your… _potential_ talent for fuinjutsu." Cue another meaningful look. Nagisa was going to take it personally. His voice turned dry. "You have cleared the school program. Well done, from nothing you became a baby. Now, it is my deepest _pleasure_ to evaluate your growth in this subject."

Watching the old man walking back and forth the length of the alcove, Nagisa was starting to be less and less amused. She didn't mind when Yakihiro-sensei made fun of her, his eyes were shining with mirth most of the time and she knew, she _knew_ he didn't really mean it. Sumi-sensei wasn't laughing.

"Like a caterpillar, you will either strive and evolve under my care or get picked up by a bird and leave." Nagisa leaned forward, trying to catch Mito's gaze and convey the universal message of '_What the heck is going on, is he mad?_' but she stubbornly looked forward. A slap of the bamboo stick right next to her hand was the only warning she got. "In school, you have learned the symbolism behind every part of a seal. Now, I will teach you the basic theory behind sealing."

They nodded and Sumi-sensei settled down, his back cracking loudly.

"Complex seals - those are seals civilians can't create - are composed of basic seals and basic seals are composed of minor seals. The easiest elemental seals such as the fanning seal are basic seals." On his tablet, he drew the seal.

It was a fairly simple seal with the three kanji for 'small' and 'wind', 'flow' written each above the other. The kanji 'wind' was surrounded by a whirlwind, the two others by a circle. Curving lines - for power but not too much - connected each kanji.

"This seal has three minor seals: the kanji and its associated symbol. Can you guess why we use these symbols?"

Nagisa, pride still hurting and eager to prove herself, rose to the challenge. " 'Flow' and 'small' are orders and the use of the circle means repetition. So during the whole activation of the seal, these orders are going to be repeated." The old man raised a bushy brow while Mito made a small throaty noise of understanding. "Meanwhile, 'Wind' is surrounded by a whirlwind because-"

"Because it draws its power from the outside," cut Mito before promptly going red when Nagisa huffed at her. "Forgive me. I spoke out of turn."

She pouted. _You're stealing my thunder, Mito._

"You have me impressed, both of you," Nagisa had the feeling he was targeting her. "You understand fast. However, it's an easy seal. It's not that surprising."

Nagisa bit back a grumble. It started well and he had to smack their spirits down. Typical…

"Good." He cleared his throat, "Seals are all about equilibrium. By themselves, they are fairly stable and they don't react. It's _not_ something we want. So, to actually have a reaction, the equilibrium needs to be broken. Two possibilities: one, you create a spontaneous seal - a basic or complex seal that is originally not stable - or, two you give your stable seal an _incentive_-"

Nagisa knew all of that already but the man was so passionate that she found herself listening attentively.

"-You give chakra." They nodded.

Yes, everything was about balance. Creating a seal, just like creating a jutsu, was all about finding a balance in the instability created. For a shinobi to be able to bend the law of nature, they had to give something back: an equivalent exchange. That was why jutsus needed, at least, chakra.

Seeing the flames of passion igniting his eyes was so _heart-warming_.

Nagisa had always loved fuinjutsu. At first, in the Before, it was out of necessity and perhaps also a bit to connect with a past she was yearning for; to reconnect with her roots and feel the things _they_ felt. But she soon found herself actually enjoying it. It just made sense and it was like puzzles, and mysteries, and-

She honestly had no idea what made her love it so much. Perhaps it was the way her grandmother lit up when she spoke about it or perhaps, it was her blood that made her that way. She could only speculate.

But seeing someone else loving their art so much. It was _nice_. Maybe she could grow to like that old man despire that terrible first impression-

The bamboo stick struck true and hard. Nagisa yelped, the stinging crawling across her ribs.

"No slouching. And wipe that stupid smile off your face."

She took it all back - she glared with tears in her eyes -, this old man could fuck a cactus! It didn't help that he hit her bruise from yesterday's fighting - Yakihiro-sensei still moped the ground with her.

"Spontaneous seals are the trademark of a bad fuinjutsu master, as nine times out of ten, they explode. It's something that I expect you would do during the first few months of your apprenticeship but I will not tolerate it after. If you fail too much, you're out. But these seals can work, very badly, but they can and it's only because of _luck_. They are dangerous and one of the reasons why so many of our own lost a limb."

The silence was intense and his stare weighed on her shoulders. Did he really want her to drop out or what?! Nagisa stubbornly crossed her arms, face scowling. Whatever his expectations were, she would not be bullied by him. She may have had advantages but she didn't end up here because of _luck_.

"I want you to understand that fuinjutsu is a dangerous art. I have lost many students to carelessness and I don't want another death. There is nothing that made a grown man cry faster than a limb being torn off in an explosion, let alone little girls-"

"Sensei," Mito cut him off, "You would be surprised by what girls can endure."

Nagisa _blinked_. She blinked and then slowly turned her head toward Mito, an expression of growing disbelief painting her face. Mito, on the other hand, was calm, her face covered by a stiff mask of blankness and the corners of her lips curled sharply. The fierce green flame in her eyes spoke volumes.

Nagisa snorted. Though, it was more an intake of air that choked her rather than an actual snort. It was totally inappropriate and she could feel all of her brain shutting down but the _surprise_, the _disbelief_ and the face of Sumi-sensei… It made it inappropriately funny.

Thankfully, no one was paying attention to her.

"Dear girl, you have no idea what you are talking about." His haughty face was back but Nagisa was eagerly waiting for Mito's response.

"You're right, I don't. But you believe ourselves to be silly girls that ended up here by luck. We are not and we know what we are getting into. So, your threats are unneeded."

Sumi-sensei was making the exact face of someone getting owned by a child and it sent Nagisa into a fit of giggles.

The stick stopped right next to her face. "I will not tolerate such disrespect ever again."

Mito looked squarely in his eyes and after a painfully long moment, she nodded.

"And the same goes for you." Nagisa gawked as the stick was pointing at her. She squashed the urge to just do the opposite before it could fully form.

She nodded, internally smirking.

There was nothing more satisfying than seeing someone she disliked losing composure in front of a seven-year-old. Well, except writing a seal right after months of research. That was too satisfying to compare.

"On the other hand," Sumi-sensei continued after a long pause, "Stable seals are just as dangerous. Once the amount of chakra has exceeded a threshold, the seal will become unbalanced and it's this instability that will either make it release a huge amount of energy, in short - an explosion - or the chakra is molded into something else and the seal is released.

"For the fanning seal, your chakra receives the orders 'small' and 'flow' and takes the property of 'wind'. What makes that kind of seal so dangerous is that without extensive knowledge of sealing like mine, you can't know if the seal is a fail or not."

Internally, Nagisa rolled her eyes but felt the jab. Ahah, it's not like she was here because of a failed seal…

"Alright," He clapped his hands, sounding merrier than a minute ago. Nagisa squinted. "Now that the introduction is done, let's see how your penmanship is."

He was downright delighted, eyes shining madly and internal cackles, and she was fearing the worst. With a burst of chakra, he took two scrolls out.

"I want you to write all of the Joyo-Kanji," She choked, eyes popping out, "You have an hour."

"Wha- But it's like 2 000 words-"

"1945-"

"Yeah, whatever. How are we supposed to write that many in so little time?"

"You write quickly."

She blanched internally.

Now, Nagisa was never against a small challenge. It was healthy and it kept her on her toes. And there was, hidden very deep inside her, a small streak of competitiveness that would surge at times. But most of all, Nagisa liked realistic challenges, ones that she knew it could be finished and that _challenge_... It was colossal. Enormous. _Titanic_.

She looked at the girl next to her, hoping against all odds that she would say something, be affronted, surprised or something. All she did was writing serenely.

Nagisa gawked.

"You better start now," Sumi-sensei stared at her and in his hand, he had a small amount of sand that he let trickling back into a bowl. "Time is running out."

They were really doing this.

_Crap._

* * *

"Nagisa-chan, hold your chopsticks correctly."

Nagisa slumped dejectedly before sending a teary stare at her mother over the dinner. Her hand was cramping badly and she had managed to somehow get splinters from holding the brush too tightly.

The only answer she got was a small laugh, "How was the lesson?"

She grimaced when Yukio grabbed a chunk of hair and tugged playfully. She swatted him away.

"Dreadful." Her hand was painful, her back was painful, heck! Her neck was stiff! "Sensei made us write _all the kanji_ in an hour and if they were blotched, we had to start again."

"And?"

"I got one blotched…" She unfortunately had smeared ink in her hurry, quite an unfortunate accident, and she cried tears of blood when he took her scroll to give her a new one. "But at least, I got them all right. Mito had three wrong."

While Nagisa was busy rewriting _all the kanji_, Mito had to write fifty times each kanji she had wrong. Needless to say, none of them had finished in under an hour.

Her father's chakra spiked, as if startled, and he jumped on his feet to disappear in his room. Yukio was as clueless as a newborn toward what could have elicited such a reaction but her mother looked sadly after Daichi, her smile fading out of her face.

It was… unexpected.

"What was that?" She finally asked, watching her mother intently.

The woman, while retaining all of her beauty, lacked her usual liveliness. Kazashi's skin was a soft red-brown ochre that tended to deepen and freckle under Uzushio's sun, but during the last few days, it had a greyish glow as if she was growing sick. The speck of gold in her blue eyes dulled when her mother believed no one was looking.

Kazashi wasn't well, and - Nagisa looked at the door leading to her parents' room - she believed it had something to do with her father.

Her mother pondered on something, eyes softening before she took both of her children's hands. "Your father… isn't feeling well lately. Please be patient with him. It's a… uhm, a hard situation he is dealing with."

"But what is going on?" Yukio asked, bright blue eyes looking innocently at her kaa-san.

Her shoulders dropped ever so slowly as if a terrible weight was dragging them down. She smiled.

"It's nothing you should worry about," then she clapped her hands and was back to her usual cheery, bubbly self. "So, I made some cake. Who wants some?"

Yukio jumped to his feet, throwing his hands up. "Me, me, me!"

He cheered and followed their mother to the kitchen while Nagisa watched her father's spot thoughtfully.

…

_Wait. Cake?_

Nagisa ran to the kitchen.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand the chapter is finished!
> 
> Yay!
> 
> This chapter is indeed smaller and not a lot of things happen. Why, you ask? Simple because for now on I will slow down the pace, sometimes it might be painfully slow, to actually take time to build relationships. It's going to be a bit like Hear the Silence by EmptySurface (which is a fantastic story). And the length of the chapter will be more variable; the next few chapters are also going to be small.
> 
> Fuinjutsu here is very deeply based on chemistry: atoms are minor seals, molecules are basic seals, and polymers are complex seals.
> 
> Otherwise, what do you think about fuinjutsu? Did you like my explanation or not?
> 
> Yay! Thank you for the comments (always and forever) and also for the kudos (of course!).
> 
> TAKE CARE Y'ALL!
> 
> I'm out!


	8. That weird and unexpected introspection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's introspection time for Nagisa and I'm really bored, so I guess I had to write weird and poetic introspection  
*shrug*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, hello!
> 
> As you can see, I'm really bored and I guess boredom made me write some poetic weird shit like the first part of this chapter.
> 
> And thanks for the kudos, lovely reviews and bookmarks! Hopefully, I won't scare you away XD

_Chapter 7: That weird and unexpected introspection_

* * *

The night was warm; one of those nights where the sky was clear and the stars glowed like a myriad of tiny diamond specks spilled on the abyss.

She loved the night.

Under the harvest moon, when sliver drips shimmered on the highest ground of Uzushio, everything was quiet, muted almost.

It was during the night that she found her balance back or simply took the time to lick her wounds.

Books, poets, and writers always alluded to the night being entangled with the notions of coldness and loneliness. It wasn't. Not when the night threw her dark coat on her, cozying her into her warm and familiar embrace.

She loved Uzushio just as much as she loved the night but sometimes, with all the noises and life, it was too much. She needed a small break.

However, nighttime was the perfect time for unneeded introspections, or in her case, unneeded freak-out.

She had managed to keep all the _what-if_, _how_ and _what the hell_ at bay during the day but now that she was in her room with Yukio peacefully asleep next to her, they came back with revenge.

Her stomach churned and twisted with an explosive mix. Her emotions were all over the place, entangled with each other and Nagisa had to take deep breaths before she dared try to put orders in her thoughts.

_Take it slow_. She needed to know what caused that emotional turmoil. Well, she already had an idea about what it was but she needed to pinpoint the exact reason.

What was really bothering her?

She took the first wire and slowly tugged. It brought her back to that painted door. The room where she shoved all of her emotions. Her fingers brushed the handle before recoiling.

_Open it._

She did. Inside, it was grim and desolated. From time to time, the sun of her joy was peeking out, watering the ground with warm rays but more often than not, it was hidden by the cloud of her worries.

At first, it was fine; she followed the wire to a misty path and she walked through the charred field of anxiety without too much problems. Anxiety was easy to deal with and easy to ignore.

But then, she reached the forest and things got messy. Icy cold needles pierced her and she broke into sweat. The wind howled terrible news while dead roots crawled toward her. She deafened herself to the noise.

Her heart sped up, her breathing became shallow and a part of her mind screamed for her to get out. _Danger, danger,dangerdangerdagerdan_-

_Calm down, you're safe at home, you're not-_

_Danger,dangerdangerRunSurvivescREam_

It was only when her guts turned icy that she understood what she was feeling. Fear. She was in the forest of her fear.

Yet, something called to her beyond the sprawling chaos that was her mind, right behind that heavy fog her fears were creating. The pull was inescapable now that she actually paid attention, like a thousand of strings tugging at her.

She willingly let them bring her closer and closer until she stopped, unable to go further. The dark fog was too much, overbearing and oppressing. But she trudged forward, gritting her teeth and clenching her hands.

She was too far in to go back now.

Tendrils of mist curled around her limbs, freezing and numbing them. Moving became harder and harder and she felt herself being pulled backward.

It was like going against a rubber band, at some point, she knew it would snap back. She just had to hope she could withstand it.

_Keep going_. Ducking her head, she pushed again and again, and again until she saw the light at the end. But...

It was snapping back.

She lost balance, tipping backward and in a blind panic, threw her hand forward, reaching for anything that could ground her.

_No..._

She was so close, she couldn't fail. Not now. But, no matter how much she dug the heel of her feet, she was inexorably dragged back.

_NO!_

She wailed her anguish, clawing at the mist that kept being stronger and denser, obscuring the light until she couldn't see it anymore.

She was trapped within her fears, slumping with a century of mistakes on her shoulders. She closed her eyes.

_Alone in the dark._

She didn't like the dark. She liked the night because the stars and the moon were there but not the dark. So why did it have to be so black?

She whined softly and curled into a ball. Why couldn't she reach the other side? What stopped her? Her fears, but was it all?

_Nagisa,_ something called her, soft and sad, and her eyes snapped open.

It wasn't dark. Not entirely. There was something here that still burned. Frail and easily dismissed, the flame of a candle followed her.

_What?_

There was one thing that could follow and shine through the darkness. Courage. The flame of her courage has been following her. For how long? Why?

For some kind of dumb reasons, she asked the candle, _how do I get out? How do I get to the light?_

As if it would answer her.

It didn't answer. At least, not immediately.

_\- You listen to the wind._ Its voice was so small that she had to strengthen her ears to listen to it.

_But it says horrible things._

_\- You cannot live your life without facing your fears unless you want them to shackle you._

That was weirdly wise, like one of those weirdly wise things the lady that believed herself to be an oracle says.

_What was the light_, she founded herself mouthing to the candle.

_\- Your courage_.

Nagisa blinked. If that was her courage…_Then who are you?_

The light shone a bit brighter, as if pleased. _You will know when you are ready._

_When I am ready? _Nagisa parroted. Ready for what?

_\- When you are ready to reach the other side. I'm merely a guide here._

_But what must I do then? If you are a guide, then you can guide me to the light. _That discussion made little to no sense.

_\- I can't._

_Why? _Nagisa was starting to get angry. She was uncomfortable. She wanted to get out and now.

_\- You are not ready. You're not entirely _**here** _yet._

_That makes no sense._ She was here and she came here by herself. What the hell was that candle talking about?

_\- You need to listen to your fears. You need to understand yourself._

_You're me. Why are you talking in riddles? _The flame flickered and almost died out. _Wait! Don't leave!_

_**Don't leave me alone in the dark**_.

But the candle didn't listen and grew smaller, and smaller, and-

_Fine! I will do it. I will listen, so please, don't leave me. _She nodded to herself and slowly uncovered her ears.

The furious roars of the wind took her by surprise and then she found herself overwhelmed, flopping around and rolling.

She was scared, so scared, and alone. She didn't want to be alone but-

The light of the candle flickered. Nagisa gasped.

She would die alone, and she couldn't do it, couldn't save them and-

She could save them and she couldn't save it because she was-

Useless.

An impos-

_Save what? Who?_

The wind stopped, the deformed voices quietened. At long last, it answered.

_Uzushio._

...

She gasped, watching her room with wide eyes.

_Out,_ her mind provided but her body had already reacted and she was quietly slipping out.

_Oh god._ It didn't help, it didn't help one bit. It just made her panic.

She needed-

Her lungs expanded violently and she started hyperventilating. She felt the need to throw up. It was coming back to her too fast.

-to reach the sea.

She took the roofs and didn't touch the ground until she could make a straight line to the sea and there, she jumped in headfirst in it.

Her mind quietened a bit, shivers shaking her from time to time. She stayed underwater until her lungs burned.

_Oh god…_ She forgot about that. She forgot about Uzushio's fall.

But did she really forget or did she deny it?

That was a question she knew the answer to and didn't like the answer.

Denial was a dangerous thing and she couldn't take the easy way out this time.

She needed to face everything head-on.

Nagisa sighed, watching the moon as the waves brought her back to the beach.

That was going to be two pains and a half.

* * *

Weirder things have happened and she came out of this surprisingly more insightful. She was more in harmony with herself. It was like her axis was back in place. She felt better but no one would realize something has changed.

However, while she was feeling better, the people around her were not. Mito, on one hand, always kept to herself and never tried to initiate contact between them. Nagisa was happy letting their relationship as it wa-

No. That was a lie. Nagisa wanted to speak with her - she wanted to connect with her - but she was also a bit sore that she never responded to her greetings - and she _tried_, every day she threw a 'good morning' only to be met by a tired gaze. That really mature part of her tried to excuse her; she was grieving, Daichi punched Namiyo, maybe she was shy? But Nagisa was not sure if she wanted to see reasons just yet.

So, she shoved that situation aside; it could wait.

On the other hand, her father wasn't getting better either. If she was honest, he was getting worse. Distancing himself, even during the family dinner, most of his responses were short and curt. He made Yukio cry and he didn't even try to comfort him.

That reaction triggered something deep in her which made her snapped at him and he snapped back at her. It ended in a huge fight with Yukio crying even louder.

Her mother came apologizing on his behalf during the night.

Yukio forgave him soon after; Nagisa did not.

* * *

The sound of the waves, the tiny drops of seawater from the waves crashing against the rocks on her skin, that kind of unique smell that lingered on the tongue. Uzushio was that and so much more.

Playing with the sand, Nagisa watched the children playing, dunking and dancing with each other. Uzushio was a good place to live, free in the way that they only answered to themselves - no daimyo, no powerful nobles, just that association of clans that created Uzushio.

Uzushio was precious. It had to be protected, at all costs. But how?

She had thought about it for a week only to draw blanks. She needed to be smart.

_Let's try again_, she exhaled slowly.

Uzushio would fall in roughly 90 years. _Fact_. Attacked by multiple hidden villages. _Fact_. Some managed to escape. _Fact_. Konoha didn't help them. _Fact_.

But what happened? Without details, everything she could come up with would be easily skirted.

Why would Uzushio fall if there was a barrier unit? Was there a limit to what it could withstand? Did they raise the barrier or was there not enough time? Did they-

Her chakra pool created ripples in her agitation. Small at first, they grew in intensity.

_Calm down. A clouded mind won't help. Be methodical, you have time._

She had time, yes, but she also had a deadline. And it made her anxious, fingers twitching to do something, to protect something she grew to love but even more than that, it made it _real_.

Before, it was uncertain, blurry, just a danger that loomed over her- _their_ heads. She knew it would happen but not when. She could ignore it. Having some kind of date just anchored it in reality.

She had time, yes but how much? Following the path of the shinobi meant never being powerless ever again but also the possibility of dying every day and if she didn't find a solution before that-

"Well, hello Sensei. You're almost late," she said while looking at the waves.

It was really calming and-

"You could have started training." The gruff answer came with enough dryness that Nagisa knew he wasn't in the best mood. "You look off…"

"That's not a nice thing to say, you know. Is that how you seduced your lovers?"

He spluttered. "I don't-"

"You have, uh… let's say, drops. You have drops of their chakra all over you. When are you going to present me? Is that a girl or a boy? You know, I'm not judg-" She rolled out of the way while laughing.

His foot created a small hole upon impact, sending dust around.

Nagisa raised a brow. He really put strength behind this kick.

"Did I touch a nerve?" She smirked. She really was feeling better. " Let's make a bet. If I make you fall during training, you pay for the food."

"And if you don't?"

"I shut up."

His smile turned dangerous.

...

"Take an apprentice, they say. It will be good for you, they say. Those lying bastards."

Nagisa snickered as Yakihiro-sensei paid for their food.

"Alright, brat. Here is your sashimi on a stick." Nagisa beamed at his constipated expression - _Ah, the pleasure of proving him wrong_ \- and dug into the food. The sweet flavor of salmon exploded in her mouth and she barely stopped the drool of pleasure from falling. That was good sashimi, excellent even!

The merchant laughed and tipped his hat when she told him so.

Her ribs were throbbing, her legs were hurting and she felt like a giant bruise. But she won.

Happily skipping next to her sensei, Nagisa hummed a soft song. It was still warm, the sun setting over the horizon, golden glimmers reflecting on the sea, the sky darkening and becoming a wonderful canvas of colors; the street was noisy and lively and the food was toes-curling good. _Yes_, the girl nodded to herself, _this is a good life_.

An old man laughed loudly before punching a man behind the head.

_May it never change._

"What are you still doing here? You're dismissed, don't you have friends to cause mischief with?" What? Nagisa stared incomprehensibly. Was he tired of her? "You know, prank the people, activate the seals that turn the stairs into slides."

Her look of growing horror was making him uncomfortable.

"There is a seal for _that_." And here she thought the stairs couldn't get worse but they could turn into slides? Kami protects her soul for she would murder the poor idiot that would do that to her.

"You didn't know? Why…? Oh no, let me guess. You don't have friends." He smirked, believing himself to be funny, unaware that he nudged one of her biggest problems.

"Hey!" Right into her insecurities. She felt the urge to defend herself. " I do have friends!"

He cocked a brow. _A challenge, then? Very well._

"I have you and Mizu and- and Yukio, and…" She was drawing a blank here.

"We're not friends, you're my apprentice-"

"- that you care a lot about."

"- and Yukio is your brother."

But she still had one friend, though they were still at the early stage of friendship. It was better than nothing!

She puffed her chest out, ignoring her burning cheeks. "So?"

"... Your social life is depressing."

She deflated, "I know…"

She was aware that she should have more friends but it was _hard_. Children were not easy to get along with; they cared about irrelevant things, didn't have filters and she couldn't talk with them.

"Why, though? You're not a bad kid," He ignored her 'haha' victorious, "and you can be… funny?"

"Why are you looking so unsure? I'm _hi-la-rious_."

He offered her a tired glance but didn't react further.

"You're peculiar and you use words most of your age don't but that doesn't explain why…"

Nagisa grew quiet.

"I don't know," she shrugged, "perhaps I'm just too intimidating?"

Deadpan stared. He was good at conveying 'Oh, really?' with just a roll of eyes.

"What is there to be intimidated by? You're like an otter, small with mean teeth but overall harmless."

"Now, you're not fair. I thought I would, at least, be a seal. I'm cute, though." Under his hard gaze, Nagisa relented. "I don't know, my knowledge perhaps? They don't like a know-it-all."

He sighed, looking square in her eyes. "If that was the case, you would purposely dumb yourself. You don't. My take is that there is something that's stopping you.

"Fine," she sighed, shoulders dropping," because Kaa-san told me they wanted to befriend me because of who I was and not because of… who I am."

He rolled his eyes as if she was saying the dumbest thing in the world. "Not everyone wants to use you, brat and-"

She clenched her teeth, swallowing the burning in her throat. It burned her stomach and then reached her guts before spreading through her veins.

"-Do you need to have an answer for everything?" She was getting upset and tired of the probing. The next thing she knew, she was vomiting words, unable to stop herself."I know. I know, but it's _scary_. It's terrifying to let someone in because then, they will hold _power_ over me and- and if they get close then they can _hurt_ me and I don't want to be hurt. It sucks! I'm scared of letting someone in because if something happens to them then…" she swallowed with difficulty. "Then it will destroy me."

"Well… that was a lot to unload and, er- I'm not sure I'm the person you should have told. I mean, I'm-"

"Are you embarrassed?"

It actually hurt. More than she cared to admit because, in a way, he was dismissing her feelings. He couldn't even look her in the eyes, growing more agitated next to her.

Yakihiro-sensei scratched his head, pearls of sweat running down his face. "I'm not good with tears and insecurities and-"

"- emotions in general." cut Nagisa drily.

"Right." The silence was awkward and in this single instance, Nagisa regretted ever opening her mouth. "But, listen… Friendship is not about having power over others. It's _wrong_. Friendship is equality. What friendship is truly about is _trust_ and- Hell, every kind of relationship is about trust. And- yeah… So, if you feel like that's the dynamic between you and your friend, then it's not right and ... Yeah, that's my point. Okay?"

Nagisa tilted her head before slowly nodding, squinting at her sensei in wonder. It was easy to forget that he was young under all that gruff. But he was still young and awkward.

He looked relieved the conversation was over as he closed his eyes, his constipated expression slowly melting away.

She understood his words and she could even rationalize them but it remained her fear; it wasn't something that pretty words could heal. Or awkward words for that situation.

_But, at least_, she mused, warmth spreading through her chest, _he tries._

And it was more than some did.

"So, do you want to train more?"

Nagisa hummed softly. She felt relieved, lighter, like telling someone had reopened an infected wound and a bit of that miasma poured out. Her lips curled into a smirk.

"You know what would really lift my spirit, Sensei?" He sent her a wary glance but didn't answer. "_Sweets, _Sensei."

He groaned and facepalmed but didn't protest.

_..._

_To be continued?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... That's it.
> 
> What is good with this chapter is that you can immediately see the effect this little introspection did. At first, Nagisa believed that the others were the problem and that she was perfectly fine but in fact, both are at fault. Nagisa, because she is eaten by fears and refused to accommodate the others and the others because they are not really accepting.
> 
> I wonder if you will understand the hints I put in the weird poetic introspection shit (because it will reappear later on), or if you have theories about that.
> 
> If you have any questions, I'm happy to answer it.
> 
> TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! Sneeze or cough in your elbow, wash your hands and keep your distances.
> 
> I'm out.


	9. That was a lot easier than expected

_ Chapter 8: That was a lot easier than expected _

* * *

Days had passed by and some kind of a routine settled. In the morning, Nagisa woke up early and quietly paddled through the house to join her mother at the porch. Her father was long gone. Together, they would admire the sun rising above the sea and enjoy the calm of Uzushio while siping Yaki nori tea. _Burning seaweed tea_, Nagisa recalled softly, and it was quite fitting. Bitter, spicy, the taste of a flame and it burned just as bad. To sharpen the mind and tone the body. Nagisa only felt the burning and never the effects.

At that point, when the sun was at a solid quarter in the sky, Yukio would wake up and Nagisa would have to leave for her lessons with Sumi-sensei and Mito. The library was as breathtaking as ever and the guard, as mockingly friendly but Mito wasn't.

She was getting worse, Nagisa noted absently one day. She lost focus easily, her penmanship was getting sloppier and the bags under her eyes, darker. And Nagisa still did nothing. It wasn't like she didn't want to; that small spiteful part of her that wished some kind of karma had calmed down long ago. But she had no idea if her concerns would be welcomed or not and didn't want to make the situation worse. So she kept quiet.

After all, if she wanted help, she would come to her, right?

Most of the time, the lessons would end around lunch and Nagisa could hungrily crawl back home and wolf the lunch down while recalling some of her lessons. Kazashi would laugh at her bad imitations of Sumi-sensei with a wistful glint in the eyes; Yukio would laugh too, but only because of her bad imitations and her mother's laugh. He had no idea who Sumi-sensei was - and thank god, she didn't want him to be traumatized so young.

If Nagisa was particularly convincing in her imitations, her mother would share some of her own stories - because, _of course_, that man had to have been her parents' sensei.

After a small nap, she would go to the beach and start stretching. Yakihiro would arrive not long after and a very long training session would begin. It started with a small taijutsu fight, then once Yakihiro had burned that excess of energy - and Nagisa had dodged his hits with more or less success - they would either do some accuracy's exercises or he would teach her some jutsus - 80% were evasion jutsus like Kawarimi. Also added reflex exercises - which basically was scaring the shit out of her and analyzing her response - but they were utterly unpredictable.

Finally, to make sure she was dead on her feet, it was a free fight: everything was allowed and it would only end when she either yielded or ate the ground so badly she couldn't get up.

Today, the latter had happened and Nagisa was busy recovering her breathing and laying on the ground like a starfish when Miru came out of nowhere.

Nagisa grunted and closed her eyes. Surely, if she played dead then she would leave her alone, right? Wrong. Nagisa tried very hard not to move when a foot nudged her. Miru was nothing but stubborn and dedicated because she nudged her for five minutes before the Uzumaki girl reacted.

"'M dead."

With the sun on her skin and that very nice breeze cooling her down, Nagisa was really tempted to nap. It was-

"No, you're not."

Too good to be true. Miru shifted just enough to cover her with her shadow and it wasn't as good anymore. She sighed and opened her eyes, watching the older girl smiling before crouching down.

"See," she poked a bruise and Nagisa hissed in answer, "Very much alive."

Nagisa groaned, "Do you enjoy torturing me?"

"Does it hurt?" Miru laughed, eyes twinkling mischievously.

"Of course it does! Do you want me to bruise you and poke it?" She answered exasperatedly.

And with the longest string of insults and groans in recorded history, Nagisa sat up.

It really wasn't funny when sensei wanted to exhaust her. _It's for your own good_, he said; _you need to learn to push through exhaustion and recognize its effect_, he said. Nagisa only heard his gleeful cackles.

Sometimes, she had to admit she deserved it. She may or may not have taken her teasing a bit too far and she may or may not have asked if he wanted to make the man he stared at a bit too long his lover. Loudly. And in the middle of civilians. How she had laughed that day…

Now, not so much.

"You sound like a grandma," Miru giggled but helped her to her feet, "So I supposed it means there is no training."

Nagisa bit back a groan and grimaced, "Yeah."

"Oh," her face fell, a soft glow of disappointment wrapped around her like a cloak and Nagisa didn't like it. "Okay."

She looked dejected, eyes cast downward and pouting lips and that mischievous glint was subdued. Even her body conveyed that; her shoulders slumped, her center of balance was lowered and more unstable and her hands were at her sides, visible and unarmed and-

-And Nagisa realized that she was analyzing her friend, storing in her tells, her threat level, and her weaknesses. She shook her head.

_Baby step Nagisa,_ she reminded herself.

"You know," Nagisa pondered out loud, "I'm quite hungry. Do you want to join me?"

Her brown eyes lightened to caramel and her chakra moved happily around her. She blushed and scratched her head, her other hand moving this and that way in front of her.

"I mean, if you want me to come, I can't say no. It would be rude of me to say no-"

"I don't want you to feel pressurize so I guess I will retire my propo-"

"No," Miru shouted and Nagisa almost toppled backward when she suddenly appeared in her comfort zone, "I want to join you."

Her smile turned mocking and she could feel the smug irradiating out of her. _Gotcha._ Miru caught up soon enough and turned around huffing. Nagisa laughed before evading her punches.

They kept playing around a few minutes, Miru looked far too happy and Nagisa could still muster the strength to dodge a bit, before she called the game to an end. She caught her kick. "So, Anpan sounds good to you?"

Miru stumbled with her momentum but managed to keep herself steady. She slowly blinked at Nagisa, rolling that thought in her head a few times before nodding. "Yeah, as long as there is no fish, I like everything."

"No fish?" Nagisa raised a brow, "Kinda hard on this island. You don't like it?"

"More like I don't want to eat them."

Nagisa raised her other brow but didn't press further, it was more likely a clan thing and it was rude to ask about such a thing. She eyed the gills on the side of her neck. _Yeah, it's probably a clan thing._

"So, you want to go into the fancy sweet shop or the more family restaurant?"

"I don't have money."

It took her an embarrassingly long amount of time to understand the root of the problem. Miru didn't have money and neither did she. And now she was frozen, mind blank and foot hovering over a poor twig that could only watch its impending doom like the useless branch it was. Of _fucking _course_._ Why didn't she think about that?

"Well," she said, scraping furiously in her brain to find a solution. Of course, the moment she tried to reciprocate that friendship thing something like that had to happen. "Well, we could annoy sensei until he pays for us or we could go to my house."

She started walking again.

"I'm not sure-" Miru started but Nagisa waved her off.

"I will handle sensei, you will see, he isn't as mean as he looks."

…

Nagisa sulked, a river of tears running down her face, as Miru walked beside her, patting her back sympathetically. Nagisa shrugged it off with a scowl. She didn't want sympathy. Let her drown in self-pity, dammit!

"Yare, yare, it's okay. Your mother still gave us money."

Sensei had been less than cooperative with her, especially the moment he had learned what she wanted... To explain with simple words, he kicked her ass and it created in Miru newfound respect and admiration for her sensei. Nagisa could feel herself slip off the pedestal Miru raised her on.

"But… But I thought it would work…"

So they went to her mother who had happily thrown them money - more money than they needed - with a brightness in her eyes that appeared the moment Nagisa presented Miru as her friend. Coincidentally, Miru had that same brightness.

"Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned his lover."

Yeah, maybe she shouldn't have but the opportunity to tease him was too tempting to miss. And now, she had a feeling she wouldn't like the next few days.

"Yeah, maybe." she agreed before clapping her hands. "So. Which shop? Fancy or not fancy?"

"Not the fancy one. We're not dressed for it."

Nagisa tilted her head, wondering why the hell would they need to dress up before shrugging. "To the restaurant then."

…

The taste of red bean paste was heavenly on her tongue; the tiny bowl of fruit and the white tea she took with added _that touch_ that made the world brighter. It was like tiny explosions of bittersweet bubbles inside her. She shivered with pleasure. It may be because she was incredibly hungry but it felt like heaven. At least for her. Miru looked weird out by her groans of delight and her expression of bliss.

"Do you always react like that?"

Nagisa exhaled slowly. "I like food." She answered like it was the most obvious answer. And it was: food was life and life was good so, food was good. Simple maths. She had been a real moron to stop eating during that week.

"And I'm also terribly hungry," she added after a few seconds while she started playing with the rim of her mug.

Miru nodded slowly, a bit disbelieving and a bit surprised but still trying to remain understanding and bit into her pastry, her eyes closing for a second too long.

Nagisa smiled. "See, you reacted too. That's good food."

The restaurant was surprisingly crowded for a late afternoon; some children were playing tag inside while the adults watched over them. There were couples here and there that were sometimes overly obnoxious in their demonstrations of love - _lady, could you please not stick your tongue down his throat, I'm trying to enjoy my anpan_. And there were some shinobis, easily spotted by their stiff postures and ever-moving eyes.

"Did you hear?" A whisper, a soft voice stroking her eardrums caught her attention. She relaxed in her seat, tilting her head. _Hear what?_

"Hama said that Kaito assured her that the barrier was raised on time." A quiet gasp and Nagisa had to close her eyes to listen. If only the people could shut up.

"How could they have bypassed the barrier?"

"Either the barrier isn't as strong as we thought or-"

"Nagisa!" She jumped, a kunai appearing in her hand. She hid it before Miru could see it. _Not smart Miru, do not startle the sleeping water_. "Did you fall asleep on me? Am I that boring?"

"No, of course not! But Sensei did tire me out quite a bit." Miru didn't look convinced and cutely pouted at her, reddening cheeks growing twice as big but despite that, she still tried to accept her answer.

It made her feel some kind of warm, fuzzy feelings in her gut and with a quick flick of her wrist, she booped her nose, a delighted giggle leaving her lips when she scrunched her nose. Nagisa was… content. She was glad that she found a friend so willing to try to accept her.

"So, what do you do when you don't bother me?"

"Don't say it like you don't like it." Miru rolled her eyes and threw a towel that never reached its target. Nagisa's smile widened, eyes shining with mockery. "I'm learning the fine art of pearl diving. My family is teaching me our jutsus and you should see underwater! It's so beautiful and-"

Nagisa hummed under her breath, basking in the ray of sun that decided to reach their table. Going out with a friend was decidedly nice and Nagisa was glad she found Miru.

* * *

Days had passed by and Mito was still not getting better. Today was worse than before. Everything, from her posture to her hair, wasn't right. Her writing was messy and her eyes, relentless and unfocused. They were barely an hour in the lesson and Mito had already been hit five times. And each hit brought a mean glint in her eyes.

"The interaction between two minors seals follows two very important rules." Sumi-sensei walked across the alcove, turning around them like a vulture ready to pounce on its prey. For now, he was looking at them. " One, their core must be able to interact together. Lightning and earth can't interact just like water and fire, unless a balancer is added but that is for a later lesson." He slowly walked behind them and Nagisa tensed. How she disliked when he was behind her; she never knew if he would hit her or not. "Two, the difference of energy, of chakra they cost must be of equivalent-"

The sound of bamboo hitting skin made her sit up straighter. Nagisa winced. Sixth, it was the sixth time he hit her.

Mito's green eyes lit up. There was a flame inside them. A powerful burning flame of anger. A flame that promised pain and violence. She wanted to skin him alive.

The silence that followed was unbearable.

Mito was looking at Sumi-sensei square in the eyes, scowling fiercely as her chakra emitted bursts of anger. Sumi-sensei was barely looking at her, eyes half-lidded, he didn't even move his head. He looked at her over the bridge of his nose like the haughty bastard that he was, chakra rolling around them like a thundercloud ready to explode. And Nagisa, poor fool that she was, was sweating bullet on the side, stuck between two raging storms, and she had to wonder, was she going to be the witness of a murder? If yes, would she help Mito hide the body?

Probably.

But as it was, Sumi-sensei opened his mouth. Was he going to diffuse the situation?

"And I thought you had the most potential. How disappointing…"

Her mouth hit the table. Nagisa blinked multiple times to comprehend what he just said. _Oh whoa…_ He managed to insult both of them without even trying. It was almost like it came naturally. _Maybe he was born an asshole?_

If she squinted enough, she could almost see smoke exiting Mito's head and with enough imagination, she could hear the whistly noise of a tea kettle. Oh, that was bad.

Mito exploded, face burning and eyes sending thunderbolts.

"Excuse me? _**I**_ have failed you? You have failed me in fact? Maybe if you, _you know_, corrected our mistakes instead of hitting us we would have made progress, dattebase!"

The more Mito talked, the wider Nagisa's eyes opened. It was like assisting at a battle between two titans, but instead of two real titans, it was an old man and a seven-year-old girl.

Sumi-sensei grew deathly calm and Nagisa knew that shit just hit the fan and in an icy voice, he said: " The little girl seems to know better than anyone so maybe she should lea-"

Black ink spilled across the table stained the scroll they were working on. They all watched as the pot of ink rolled and rolled all across the table until it fell down and shattered. The attention shifted on her as Nagisa rolled her shoulders.

"Oops," she offered in her most innocent expression.

Sumi-sensei didn't buy it. He exploded,

"Do you have any ideas what you've done? You, foolish girl, you've ruined the only copy we had of that text."

Nagisa inwardly grimaced. Knowing her luck, she should have expected that.

"This is my mistake," She eyed steadily the old man. "Then I'll fix it."

"Oh, you will." He promised, face turning sinister and Nagisa could barely suppress her shivers. "That you will."

Was it a threat? It felt like a threat. Should she be really worried? Probably. Should she run from Uzushio and change her name? It would be wise. Was she regretting it? Yes. Would she do it again? - Nagisa eyed Mito a second - If shifting his attention to her helped Mito than probably.

She just had to wait for punishment to come.

After that, the lesson came to an end faster than expected, though she still managed to get hit a few times - because she was just _that good_ at being punished. And with the lesson coming to an end, her punishment was just around the corner and she still didn't know what it was. It was slightly stressing her out.

Sumi-sensei clapped once, "Dismissed. Except you Nagisa. You stay with me."

Perhaps if she sweated enough she could sweat her dread out? If only…

Mito raised abruptly to her feet and stomped off, still irritated but not as angry as before. And Nagisa found herself alone with Sensei.

"Come with me." Of course, he had to make her wait. It wouldn't be fun otherwise.

After many turns, he stopped in front of an aisle, roamed a fourth of it before stopping. Nagisa watched the scroll he held with as much reverence as he had for the paper. The scroll screamed oldness; the golden engravings were limed, the yellowed paper looked like it would crumble under the slightest breeze and Nagisa feared that breathing too heavily would destroy the word of art it was.

Old was brittle and knowledge while new was strong but blank. One was filled with tales of life while the other was a blank canvas. One taught while the other learned.

It was one of the reasons why the old were always so respected. Nagisa was torn apart by two opposite desires. One wanted to hide the scroll and make sure that nothing could destroy it - protect the knowledge - while the other wanted to hoard it, put her hands on it, feel the old paper grain and learn everything she could from it.

There was a soft hum before Sumi-sensei threw her a glance. He looked conflicted, his long gray eyebrows were frowning but the small acknowledgment in his eyes told her that he understood. He knew what she was feeling because he was feeling the same.

With a heavy sigh, he presented her the scroll.

"Sensei?" Nagisa cocked a brow.

"You will copy this scroll _entirely_ and put it back in place. If there is one tear on this scroll, one tiny tear…" his voice dropped, "You will never be allowed in this library ever again. Am I clear?"

Nagisa gasped, loud and outraged and slightly terrified. _Banning_ her from the _library_? And her not taking care of such a magnificent piece of knowledge? Outrageous. _Slanders_! Jail for the Sensei for one thousand years!

Nagisa nodded, presenting under hands under the scroll, waiting for her teacher to let go. They probably looked at each other for a few - _thirty-six_ \- seconds before he managed with difficulty to pry his hand away.

She could feel his gaze on her during the whole way back to her seat.

…

Five hours. It took her _**five**_ _**entire**_ _**hours**_ to finish copying the scroll.

Her hand was twitching oddly, like it couldn't comprehend that she finally put that brush down and put everything back into place - well, the scrolls at least. She gazed at the guard - who may or may not have tried to talk to her - but she was too dazed, eyes hazy and unseeing, mind fumbling around and dizzy with hunger.

She missed lunch and she missed her training. If not her hunger, Yakihiro would kill her. She couldn't care less. The tiny part of her that worried was crushed under the weight of her apathy and soreness. God, she was so sore. Her back, her hand, her knees, her head. Everything hurt and pulsed, she was dizzy with hunger and tiredness. She really wasn't made to be still for too long-

She blinked once, twice, thrice and rubbed her eyes to make sure she was seeing things straight. No matter how many times she blinked, the face of Mito fiercely scowling at her would not disappear.

She moved aside to let her go inside. Mito moved with her. She did it another time and still, Mito mirrored her.

_Uh… Maybe she wants to see me…_

"Can I… Can I help you?"

She frowned and crossed her arms and looked at her very pointedly, as if she was trying to find her answer on her face.

"Why?" Seeing that her question didn't make Nagisa react, she continued, "Why did you do it? Why did you spill that bottle of ink? Why did you slouch on purpose? Why-"

Nagisa raised a hand. _Oh, that_. Now it was starting to make sense and Nagisa really wasn't in the mood to answer that just yet.

And how was she supposed to explain that without angering her?

Angering…

Anger…

Hunger…

Food?

"Are you hungry?"

Mito looked at her blankly and Nagisa rolled her shoulders, a bit sheepish.

At least, if they were doing that, it would be on her ground.

…

Nagisa watched as Mito shifted on her stool, clearly impatient to start her questioning but having enough manners to let her enjoy the divine gifts that she paid for. Her red hair hung in her face, sometimes curling but mostly straight, and Mito pushed it back with a grumpy grumble under her breath. Her eyes kept moving, never stopping on one thing for too long, and she very pointedly tried to not stare at her too much.

Her chakra rolled out of her in waves. It shifted and turned and spiked with small bursts of annoyance. It curled around Nagisa's cheeks and neck, like tiny hands ready to snap it, annoyed at her for taking her sweet time.

Nagisa had offered to buy her something with her money - though, it was more her mother's money than her but the woman was far too happy giving it for her to use with her friend - but Mito had refused, expecting her to be done soon.

That was thirty minutes ago.

"So," Nagisa started, watching Mito perking up, "Why did I help you, uh?" She turned her head, watching the outside, the trees rustling, and the river below.

How the hell was she going to explain it?

"Yes." Curt and to the point, her answer didn't help her in any way.

She rolled multiple words and explanations in her head without success. Either it was too blunt and Mito wouldn't like it or too sweet and Mito wouldn't like it either. Tongue on her cheek, Nagisa hummed softly.

…

"Nagisa-san?"

She blinked, coming back from her dreamland. _Right. Mito._

"Uh. Yes." That was going to be fun. "Well," she scratched her head, taking a deep breath. _In times of doubt, always say what is on your mind. _"Listen, I never tried to approach you before because- ah, because you- I knew you could deal with whatever is troubling you. I didn't want to meddle in and maybe overstep boundaries but you're not getting better. I noticed it. You're losing your sleep and you're simply tired and the mistakes you're doing? Tired. That anger that burned deep and fierce and the feeling that nothing will get better? Tired and grieving. And-"

Nagisa sighed, deep and slightly upset with herself. Why couldn't she say the things she wanted to say correctly?

"And it upset me that sensei chooses to turn a blind eye on that and punish you. It's- It's unfair."

Unfair. Unfairness. Words that left a sour taste in her mouth but words that she couldn't do much against. Unfairness ruled this world and not even Uzushio was exempted. But-

But.

_But it doesn't touch you, why would you care?_

Mito kept quiet but her smile lost that edge that made shivers crawled across her back. She looked…

During a few seconds, Nagisa believed that Mito was going to release the hellhounds and they would tear her apart with her cackling in the background. But then, her face settled for surprise. Surprise and something else, something murking below the green of her eyes.

"I know we are not… uh, close and that my father well punched yours," She winced when her eyes darkened. Oops. "But I'm not my father and it would be unfair to judge me over his action." Silence. Awkward silence, but Nagisa bravely kept going. "But what I really wanted to say is if you need help or simply to talk, well… I'm here."

Silence. Long silence. Very long silence that made Nagisa squirm on her stool, sweat dripping down her neck and heart thundering. Did she say something wrong? Did she hurt her? Should she apologize? Was it appropriate? Maybe she really did overstep her boundaries. Was she going to tear her a new hol-

"I see," Mito had a strange expression on her face. Wistful in a way, eyes shining with the hint of something else underneath. Something she couldn't explain, couldn't describe. Glad? Touched? No and no. Or maybe yes. Maybe it was a maelstrom of emotions and maybe Mito didn't even know what she was feeling. "Thank you. I- I appreciate the concern. And your actions. Unneeded but appreciated."

Nagisa pinched her lips. Was it all? Did she really worry for nothing? No further reaction?

"I will take my leave, now. Have a nice day."

And Nagisa watched her leave, pace a bit too stiff that betrayed a sense of urgency.

So, that was all. It was almost… disappointing. True, Nagisa was glad that she didn't seem to have upset her but she had hoped that she would receive something else, not just acceptance. Something like happiness? Hoping that she was touched by her concern. Hoping that…

Hoping that she would open up and that they could initiate something, a bond. Friendship.

_Baby steps, _she reminded herself. _You've made the first step - take that Daichi! - and now you need to wait. It's her choice. You did everything you could._

Munching on a fruit, Nagisa nodded to herself. Yes, everything she could.

. . .

Did she?

* * *

The next day came too soon and not soon enough.

With the fierce taste burning her mouth, Nagisa entered the library and made her way toward their alcove, fingers dancing over the books, stroking them as she passed by.

Her companion was already hunched over a book, hair freely spilling over her shoulders.

"Good morning Mito-san."

Nagisa sat down next to her.

Silence. Not unexpected but still disappointing. Nagisa squashed that feeling with vengeance.

"Good morning, Nagisa-san."

Nagisa blinked and tried very hard to stop her lips from curling, her guts twisting and dancing.

* * *

That day, Nagisa walked back to her home with a skip in her steps.

* * *

...

To be continued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was all for chapter 8! Tell me what you think about it!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it. It's happiness with a hint of something else ;)
> 
> Thank you for the reviews and the kudos/bookmarks, y'all! You rock.
> 
> Take care.
> 
> I'm out.


	10. It's unnecessary but it establishes dominance

_Chapter 9: It's unnecessary but it establishes dominance_

* * *

Times of suffering bring people closer.

A wise statement. Yet, Nagisa couldn't really believe it. People's reactions to suffering or threats were predictable.

If the threat was material, they made it disappear either by their own means or by crying to stronger. If it wasn't, then they would ignore it until it went away. 'If I can't see it then it can't hurt me' kind of mindset.

Nagisa understood that through experiences. After all, Maria had been both.

The small village that saw her growing threw her out when they learned her real last name, an unfortunate slip during a conversation. They - the people who used to smile at her, who treated her burns and scratches with herbs, who helped her Obaa-sama when the years reclaimed its due - chased her with torches and fears rotting their hearts.

She had been a threat to the fragile tranquility of her village. Someone was bound to sell her and the village would be reduced to ashes and flames.

The other villages that saw a small child begging for help when she was at her weakest, alone and famished, completely ignored her. It was easier to turn a head and to look away than to help her. She could be a threat, after all, and if they didn't see her than they weren't at fault for their own cowardice. They _didn't_ see her, they _couldn't know._

So to be proven wrong was quite the surprise.

Though, Nagisa conceded, the family's dinners were on a level of suffering beyond her understanding. There was nothing quite like being surrounded by family members - Kishi and his lovely kinda estranged family - and family dramas.

"Ah, Nagisa-sama," her great aunt appeared out of nowhere, gently holding her shoulder "how is your father doing? I'm deeply missing his presence but with the recent turn of event, it cannot be condemned."

The kind smile on her great aunt's face couldn't be more fake. She had that predator's gleam in the eyes, the one that betrayed her true nature. Her great aunt was a shark, smelling dramas from kilometers away. A gossip of the worst kind.

Nagisa took a sip, turning the juice in her mouth while looking at a table with contempt. She sighed, her eyes sliding across the room, taking in the fineness of the Lighthouse's dining room and the sea of guest - most being Uzumaki - before her eyes landed on her partner.

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" She offered her most deadpanned glance.

The startled, dumbfounded look was quite the look on her. A nice slip in the mask of constant contentment she wore.

_Maybe_, Nagisa thought, _she didn't expect me to talk back._

Beyond being a shark, her great aunt was, first and foremost, the wife of the head of the civilian's branch of the Uzumaki. Well, 'head' was a big word for what her great uncle Yohei was doing but he was dealing with the Uzumaki civilians, from their educations to the monthly pays they received. As such, Ran - his wife, her great aunt - was used to women speaking politely and quietly.

Obedience and diligence. That was their motto.

Outrage colored her face, "Pardon me but this is not a way a girl should talk-"

"-You are excused," cut Nagisa, turning on her heels and quickly escaping toward the food. When she was far enough, she let a relieved sigh out.

She _wasn't_ good at that.

There was nothing that could make her blood boiled faster than gossips like her. Ran purposely created dramas for entertainment sake and her new victims were her father and Namiyo which -

Nagisa watched dispassionately as Kishi puffed his chest out at something Yohei said. The urge to hurl her glass at him overcame her but her mother glowering from the other side of the room stopped her. Her baby brother was gripping the kimono of her mother, eyeing with big bright blue eyes. She lowered her hand - _uh, maybe next time_ \- and smiled sheepishly.

\- would be one of the reasons her father missed dinner tonight. Another would be the tired, sad man leaning against the wall.

Nagisa popped a rice ball in her mouth, absentmindedly losing the kimono she was wearing - so tight, so warm, so restrictive. Considering how Uzushio party, one would expect that the nobles of the island knew how to have fun. They didn't.

_Expectation really leads to disappointment, uh?_

Everything was about politeness; they politely insult each other, they politely smile, they politely eat and they held themselves proudly. It was formal. It was bland. It was _boring_. Nagisa had half a mind to sneak out and go bother sensei. Or Miru.

She shuddered. Something raised her hackles, goosebumps breaking out and sweat dripping down her neck and -

She met the eyes of one of her numerous cousins, a civilian girl that could never keep her mouth closed and sprouted nonsense with every breath, and paled while her cousin lit up. _Oh, absolutely not._

Her eyes darted everywhere, searching for an escape. Faces moved and blurred and closed on her, acting as a wall and forcing her to face her impending doom. Not _her_, she couldn't shake _her_ off. Last time she cornered her, she talked for _two hours_.

Someone stopped her somewhat cousin in her progress. She took her eyes off her and Nagisa stopped thinking. She acted.

She rolled under the table, behind the tablecloth and-

"What the hell are you doing here?"

\- her heart missed three beats when she met the dark green eyes of Mito, peering at her, a frozen hand filled with food on its way to her mouth.

_Oh, whoa. This is awkward._

Mito was the first one to recover, blinking her shock away before she closed her mouth. Her face settled back behind a blank mask - the same blank mask that greeted her every day. Yet, her eyes burned with curiosity.

"I'm hiding," she answered softly, like it was the most obvious answer and - Nagisa conceded begrudgingly, her cheeks burning red - it was. "Just like you, I suppose."

Nagisa was still trying to proceed with the shock, the fright, and the way her hand flew to her hip - where her pouch was supposed to be - to do more than blinking.

And blink, she did. She blinked once, twice, thrice before her brain finally accepted the reality and-

She hadn't expected that of Mito. She thought- Mito had always been a figure looked upon for her diplomacy and her skills. If anything, Nagisa thought that she would be amongst the others. Not- not hiding.

"Ah, well yes but- uhm, well… why are you hiding?" Nagisa slowly sat up, her head barely touched the table.

Her lips thinned. Her mask slipped. Annoyance and wonder were coloring her face and she glared at the tablecloth. "Escaping some relatives."

"Ah, yes. Ran?"

"Yes, amongst others." She waved a hand, the silk of her green kimono dancing with her moves before her hand fell back down.

Nagisa's eyes followed the move and took into the plat of food right next to her cousin. She raised a brow and smiled cheekily, "So that's where all the fried squid went. Do you like it a lot?"

Mito crossed her arms and blushed. "I- I don't know what you mean. It- it was already there when I arrived."

Nagisa smiled patiently, the specks of gold in her eyes gleaming like stars and pressed her palms flat against the ground behind her.

Mito reddened under her eyes, probably realizing how terrible her lie was but her eyes were firmly planted in her own as if she was forcing her to buy her excuse with sheer will.

The bubbles of amusement fizzed in her chest, rising in her throat before she let out a loud chuckle. Mito joined her with a more demure smile, casting her eyes downward.

"Obaa-sama, have you seen Nagisa-sama? I- I could have sworn I heard her laugh just now."

Nagisa paled, her laugh dying on her lips. She opened wide eyes in panic and caught the worried glance of her companion of misfortune. She was sweating bullets. The look of abject horror on her face amused Mito greatly, if the hand hiding her face was anything to go by.

Her chakra chided Mito, swiping at her. Her cousin softly patted the ground next to her, inviting her further away from the tablecloth and Nagisa _crawled_ toward her.

A scoff. "Why would I have seen this little pest? If I did, I would have taught her some manners." If the bitter tone was anything to go by, Ran was really displeased with her. "You shouldn't spend your time with people like her, they lack education - like any shinobi. Don't mesh with the wrong crowd Koi, they will tarnish your reputation."

The girl in question frowned, quite displeased by the comment. She lacked education? _Forgive me for having a personality, I wasn't aware that smiling and opening your legs for your husband was a suitable goal for girls._

"Yes, obaa-sama."

Nagisa was tempted to seek the girl out now and open her eyes. _To be a good wife? It isn't an aspiration! See the world with your own eyes, protect Uzushio. These are better aspirations!_

A quiet, angry rumble that sounded surprisingly like a yowl shook her chest. Nagisa sniffed her contempt and made a face at the tablecloth. An exhale. Nagisa turned her head and twitched when she found Mito's eyes on her, biting her fist and shoulders shaking.

She flushed pink.

"What did you do to her? It's the first time I heard her that… angry." Her mask of placidity laid somewhere, forgotten and her cousin was watching her with wide, curious eyes and trembling lips.

"I… She was trying to stir troubles, I dismissed her." A weird feeling was swarming inside her. It was warm like the summer wind and she felt lighter. _Elation._

Mito - who until there only smiled demurely - was _laughing_ in front of her. It was a big step. Nagisa felt like she had crossed a river.

She smiled at Mito, a big smile that showed her teeth, creased her eyes, and tinged her cheeks pink.

"Didn't she try to do the same with you?" Nagisa inquired.

Mito gave her an annoyed look but it wasn't directed at her and breathed out deeply, "You mean when she asked about my family's life?"

Nagisa hummed and brought her knees up, putting her head on them. Mito had a strange look, her brows were furrowed and her lips, thinned but she looked a bit lost, like she couldn't understand something.

Mito was thinking, a faraway look on her face. She was seeing without seeing and Nagisa was wondering if she should ask what was on her mind but-

Would she answer? Would she get angry? Was it appropriate? Would she cause pain? Wh-

Dread and doubt were gripping her throat, tightening their hold to quiet her voice while her heart sped up.

She wanted to ask but-

\- _"You never extend your hand first._" The image of her father, cold as ice, haughty in the forest flickered in her mind.

Nagisa scowled something fierce. _Watch this._ "What is on your mind, Mito-san?"

Her cousin blinked, finding her way out of her thoughts and graced her with an uncertain look. "I just… don't understand why she would ask that. My father is here, he is more apt at answering these questions and- why-" she took a breath, a puzzled expression on her face, "-why is she trying to stir troubles with me?"

The innocence Mito displayed was as refreshing as it was painful, it showed that Mito was still a child. A very smart and mature child but a child nonetheless.

She never felt the specter of Maria more clearly than in that instant. It weighed on her shoulders like a century of mistakes and aged her quite a bit. It was her turn to adopt the faraway look.

"Because- because-" _Because Ran isn't a nice person,_ "-because we are younger, more gullible. Or that's what she thinks. So, she expects us to answer truthfully. And also because- well, you must have realized it by now. These dinners are a bore."

Mito squinted at her but didn't argue, seemingly taking her point at face value and it felt like drinking warm Yaki nori tea. Instead of burning, it spread a warm, light feeling across her body.

Inside her head, Nagisa was doing leaps.

"I wouldn't have used that term, though." Nagisa raised a brow. "I would have said _a bother_."

A light shone in her eyes and the distinctive feeling of having found someone that _understood_ washed over her.

Nagisa smiled broadly.

* * *

"Good morning, Mito-san!" Nagisa said, shifting from foot to foot slightly and eagerly waiting for her reaction. With how their evening went by, she was sure their relationship had taken a turn for the best.

Mito raised her head from the book she had been devouring to give her a small, more genuine smile. Her mask, Nagisa realized with some fondness, was not completely on her face. "Good morning, Nagisa-san."

She went back to reading her book.

The sinking disappointment churned her stomach, the unexpecting deception bringing tears to her eyes. She eagerly blinked them away while derisively mocking herself.

_What were you expecting? That she would jump at your neck and be as excited as you were? Stupid. Simply because you talk well once-_

How stupider could she be? Nagisa bit her lips. And why did she feel like that? It didn't matter if Mito didn't change. They had a nice bearable evening and that was all.

"Good morning you two." Sumi-sensei appeared behind her.

She jumped enough for her skeleton to leave her body and reach heaven. When it decided to reintegrate her body, it felt like nothing was in the right place: bones were crushing her throat and choking her scream. Oh yeah, and her heart probably stopped too.

The book she threw in pure surprise was thankfully snatched right before hitting his forehead. He threw the book a glance before his murderous eyes found her sheepish face.

Sensei was _not_ amused.

His chakra coiled and hovered dangerously over her like a poisonous snake ready to sink its fangs in her throat.

"Sorry…"

His lips thinned. "I have been made aware that you have started reflex training-" his icy eyes pierced her and Nagisa shuddered, "-so I will let that _mistake_ slide for once. Though you should ask your sensei to work on your situational awareness as this skill is lacking - just like your obedience."

_Charming as always._

Mito tutted in her back. His gaze found her and he raised a brow, sliding his hands in his sleeves. "Something to say, Mito?"

The girl crossed her arms defiantly. Between them, there was no lost love. Mito couldn't forgive his irascible behaviour and Sumi-sensei was still displeased with her.

"None."

It has been a month since the faithful discussion. Mito was doing a bit better but didn't talk much beyond small talk and niceties. Though she would stay with her sometimes, enjoying silence together and working on their assignments.

Nagisa still didn't know how to really connect with her. _If only my sunny boy was here._ A sad pang. He was the people person, not her.

Sumi-sensei hummed. "Very well. Today, we will study the heavenly earth barrier, a very basic barrier that I hope you will be able to make _in your sleep_." He waved at them to sit down. "The heavenly earth barrier is a three tag barrier which creates a triangular shield."

He presented them with three tags.

"This one," he pointed at the tag with the kanji for wind on it, "spread evenly the energy of an attack across the barrier. 'Wind' is linked with 'Flow' and 'Connect' through a circle."

_The orders are repeated indefinitely._

"Then, you have the Earth tag. This one represents the actual barrier with the orders 'Protect' and 'Connect'. Wind and Earth don't mix well, so for the last tag, you need a balancer. Here, the balancer is Lightning with Yang grounder-"

The tag had the kanji 'lightning' linked with straight lines to three 'Yang' kanjis. The two orders were 'Connect' and 'Disperse'.

"-which brings the right amount of Yang energy to stabilize the barrier while allowing Wind, a gas, and Earth, a solid, to mix. Understood?"

They nodded.

"Good, then you will copy the tags and we will move on the practical lesson."

They nodded again, brushes in hands.

Last week, they had a course over ink and how they could affect seal making. It had been enlightening.

Blood was the last conductor - or commonly referred to as ink - one would want to use. Despite brimming with Yin energy, blood was also filled with cells that disrupted the flow of chakra. Unless one had to have a very steady and precise chakra control to use blood seals. On the other hand, there was the Uzumaki ink, which was the purest ink you could find but lacked any energy.

Considering the tags were simples, crude ink would do just as well. Nagisa took the charcoal, chopped a bit, and carefully crushed it into a fine powder. Then she added enough water in her bowl and mixed.

Mito chose squid ink, a cheaper alternative to their Uzumaki ink but a much better quality than hers.

The tags were quite easy to make, kanjis linked through a circle. Three was the preferred number, which added stability to the seal but Nagisa couldn't help but feel like something was missing.

It was a very simple seal and it lacked _power_.

Though, right now, Nagisa was more bothered by the fact that the library had _another access_. She-who-took-the-stairs-every-day discovered in the back of the library a set of stairs that led into the Lighthouse. _With fewer stairs._

She squawked, totally frozen. What- Why? But most importantly, _how the hell was I not aware of that?_ She scraped her brain, trying to find any mention of another access in her memory only to come blank. No one told her anything.

"Nagisa-san, are you coming?" Mito said, a few steps ahead, waiting for her.

Nagisa closed her mouth with a click, shaking her head and fuming - _Dammit! Even Mito seems to know about it_ \- before she followed, missing the odd look the girl sent her.

Sumi-sensei walked and turned corridors until they reached the end of the building. A simple training ground greeted them. The trees delimiting the area sang wistfully with the breeze while the chakra of the Lighthouse tickled her coils.

It was relaxing.

Until a leaf smacked her in the face. Nagisa spluttered, wiping her face and destroying the leaf fiercely until she felt two sets of eyes on her. She smiled innocently, sweat rolling down her neck and the remaining of the leaf hidden behind her back.

Sumi-sensei acted as if he hadn't seen anything and asked them to place themselves under the trees.

"Now, place the tags and activate the barrier. I will do a demonstration." He said with a wide smile. A _very scary_ smile.

Nagisa shivered, dread swarming inside. _I have a bad feeling_. Still, she followed the orders, standing safely behind the shield softly buzzing with cold chakra. _Her_ chakra.

Mito's chakra was lighter, warmer. _Freer_. And _very_ steady.

His chakra spiked as a warning. He went threw four hand signs, the wind gathered toward her teacher, sending wild locks in her face and-

"Wind Release: Gust Bullet."

\- he spat three projectiles that went crashing against Mito's shield with a mighty noise. Her barrier trembled and groaned but remained still standing.

Nagisa heaved a relieved sigh, watching the small and satisfied smile on her cousin's face. The old man then turned toward her and went through different hand signs.

It should have been her first clue that something would happen. She didn't listen to her guts.

"Water release: Water Bullet."

The water release was a surprise. Her muscles tensed as the big water projectile flying toward her surprisingly fast. It crashed into her shield. The barrier held. Nagisa sighed, relief washing over her once more until-

It groaned, then broke and crashed into Nagisa.

The impact was painful, it slapped her breath away. She hit the ground a few meters away with a loud groan and water in her mouth, eyes spinning for a second.

"Nagisa!"

She shook her head and ground her teeth, burying her fingers in the mosses before she shot up, spluttering, coughing, choking, and gurgling, and all their synonyms.

She has been struck by an elemental attack for the first time in her life.

A small hand touched her shoulder, fingers digging in her flesh and a flash of concern shone in her green eyes. "Are you okay?"

Nagisa nodded, a bit out of her depth. When the ground stopped swaying and _she_ stopped swaying, she realized what happened.

"What the hell, old man?" Nagisa was_ seething_. She gritted her teeth, an ugly grimace distorting her face. Why her? Why was it always her?

"This is one of the drawbacks of the barrier." The old man explained, "It is weak against water release. It meddled with the Earth tag changing its nature: water and earth make mud and Lightning is not the right balancer anymore and it unbalan-"

"-Why couldn't you say that _before_? Is it so hard to explain or must you _bully_ Nagisa?"

Sumi-sensei let a displeased noise out. "No. I do not take pleasure in my teaching nor do I torment Nagisa." The girl in question would like to protest, "However, demonstrations and mistakes are always a better teacher than explanations. Moreover-"

Nagisa stood up, "But why _me_?"

It was _the_ big question. Nagisa had always been a target of choice and-

His eyes pierced her, considering his answer. "It's a difference of characters, you are far more reckless than your comrade. It needs to be smothered."

"So because I'm reckless, I need to learn things the hard way? I'm not stupid! I understand when people warn me!" Nagisa scoffed, a dry laugh flying from her lips.

"But does it stop you?" Nagisa blinked. "When people warn you," he explained patiently for once, though his posture indicated his agitation, "does it stop you from doing it?"

Nagisa closed her mouth, the wind fanning the flames of her anger was losing its strength.

"See-"

"I would have-" she gritted her teeth. Anything to knock that satisfied smile out of his face, "-heard them and taken their warnings into account."

He cocked a brow as if to say '_But you wouldn't have listened._'

She remained silent, bearing the weight of _his_ gaze and disregarding _her_ gaze.

Would she have listened or would she have done things her way?

"Anyway, what I was explaining - before being _rudely interrupted_ \- was that failures and unexpected reactions happen. You didn't expect the barrier to break as it did. This is why you test your seal beforehand and this is why you need to think and understand your seal."

He let his statement sink in and Nagisa rolled the thought in her head multiple times. He wasn't- He wasn't entirely wrong.

"Now, the other reason why the heavenly earth barrier is considered a cheap, basic barrier is because of that."

He went through the hand signs faster than she thought him capable and-

It happened in a series of flash.

Mito was next to her, still standing behind her barrier.

Her forearm hairs rose as the space around them filled itself with chakra so thick she could taste it. His chakra roared. She watched his chest expanded and-

She shoved Mito out of the way, rolling with her on the ground as the shield shattered.

The burst of wind destroyed two trees before it dissipated.

Nagisa felt cold and clammy, a small tremble shaking her body. Her heart was pounding in her throat.

This attack was powerful, there was an intent behind. To hurt. To maim. And Nagisa realized-

"The barrier is weak against powerful attacks, may it be taijutsu or ninjutsu. It lacked power. We use this kind of barrier to win times, not to protect."

Mito, still under her, finally understood what just happened. She let out a whimper, trembling breaths caught in her throat.

-this old man was far more dangerous than she ever thought he would be.

* * *

She watched the sun setting over the horizon, flaming glimmers reflecting on the sea and the sky, a wonderful canvas of colors, darkening to reveal a different spectacle filled with cold diamonds.

The fruit tasted good, sweet and bitter. It fizzed in the mouth. Nagisa couldn't enjoy it, today's revelation too heavy on her mind.

She knew her teacher to be strict and scary. However.

However, he came at them with the intent of hurting. Like the Yohei. Like during the invasion.

She clenched a fist, willing herself to stop the small tremor that still inhabited her. She had trained with Yakihiro-sensei for that. To not freeze. To be used to people going after her with the intent of _killing_.

And yet-

One big attack and she was scared of her teacher.

She took another bite of the fruit, juice exploding in her mouth. It could have tasted like ash and she wouldn't have realized.

"Did you hear?"

Nagisa blinked, shifting a bit.

"Yes. I can't believe it."

"Did you know that Saya's son belonged to the unit." Some gasps, the third woman continued. "She is furious, said she would storm to the Uzu Leader's office and have a word."

Nagisa frowned, tucking her hair behind her ear. Did her grandfather do something bad?

"Not just her," someone else quipped, a man this time, "some members of clans also said so. They believe our leader doesn't trust them anymore."

"It's not surprising. I mean, he did change the members of the barrier unit." The first woman said in a tone that suggested it was a big thing.

Nagisa gasped. It was a big thing, indeed.

_What the hell is happening?_

_..._

_To be continued?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey hey! How are you?
> 
> I'm back with chapter 9 and more Mito!
> 
> I don't have much to say, except we have more Mito and Nagisa needs to learn that friendship isn't built in a day. Though her reaction is something I felt too, sometimes.
> 
> I'm sleep-deprived, so there may be some mistakes overlooked :/
> 
> Chapter 10 will be long and filled with worldbuilding! And there will be more Miru and Mito too!
> 
> Thank you for all the bookmarks, the kudos, and the comments! (I mean, over 200 kudos, I'm like whoa!!!!!) I can't say enough how much I appreciate it!
> 
> Otherwise, take care. Black lives matter and be safe with the virus out there!
> 
> I'm out!


	11. Under the sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nagisa, worldbuilding, Miru and Mito!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tada! We've reached chapter 10, horray!
> 
> It was one I dearly wished to reach as it is full of worldbuilding!
> 
> Though, fair warning, there are hints of pedophilia. (Which is a terrible, horrible thing!)

_ Chapter 10: Under the sea _

* * *

"Nagisa."

The girl blinked at the sudden call of her name. Her eyes, which glued themselves to her food, reluctantly rose to meet the cool green eyes of her father.

The silence that fell around the table was tense. Yukio, clueless little boy that he was, stared alternately at them while her mother shifted lightly on spot, leaning closer to her daughter than to her husband as if to protect her.

"How are your studies progressing?" He asked -demand, really, a report of her last achievements.

Nagisa chewed on her squid carefully, considering the best way to answer. "Good. Yakihiro-sensei had me work on my accuracy. My endurance is good enough for my age and my taijutsu is coming along quite nicely. I can keep up with sensei most of the time."

The soft ' _ tap, tap, tap _ ' his finger made as he repeatedly tapped against the table was unnerving. He was getting impatient.

"What about your fuinjutsu?"

"It is good enough," Nagisa answered, face tensing as if sensing a trap, "Sumi-sensei is a good teacher."

Daichi frowned, his eyes growing colder by the second." So, do you think it's appropriate for you to settle for  _ good enough _ ?" He spat, his nostril flared before his face turned impassive. "You've become an important figure of Uzushio, keep this reputation."

Sensing the upcoming disaster, Kizashi intervened, "Daichi, please-"

"-Quiet. I'm talking with  _ my  _ daughter." But was cut off immediately.

The implications were quite clear,  _ don't headbutt in _ .

Kazashi had taken upon herself to stir the conversation away each time her father tried to enter sensitive subjects, especially after knowing how sensitive Nagisa was when her father was concerned. Her mother coddled and protected them while asking for understanding and forgiveness. It was getting tiring.

The girl in question furrowed her brows and pursed her lips. "What do you mean? I'm doing my  _ best _ and the results are  _ good enough _ . What more do you want?"

Her temper flared.

Truthfully, Nagisa knew she tended to be unreasonable when her father spoke. But she couldn't stop herself.

"Do you think  _ his _ daughter is doing good enough? Are you really going to let  _ this child _ become better than you?" He hissed angrily at her, closing his hand into a fist.

Nagisa stared hard at her father, the corners of her lips curling bitterly as a cold weight sat on her guts. Her anger seized her throat.

"So this is what's bothering you. Mito is  _ my friend _ . I will not be used for such frivolous matters - no one cares about who is better than the other! - and I will not endanger my friendship with Mito because of your pride!"

Nagisa sneered, having lost her temper and stood up. "Could you, please, for one day, not spoil our family times?"

"Nagisa, please. Try to understan-"

Her mother's plea was cut by the banging of the door, her father's face flushing red, the last thing carved on her mind.

* * *

The sky was turning red, the sea was calm but Nagisa wasn't.

Of all the things her father could have told her, it had to be about Mito. She exhaled heavily. She had worked too much on this friendship for Nagisa to throw it out of the window simply to please her father. She wasn't going to make concessions either.

The nerves! The nerves of this man! How dare he? How dare he try to butt in her business? She did what he told her to do! She made the first steps! It wasn't easy but she did. How dare he? How dare he hurt her again?

Out of frustration, Nagisa threw the sand she grabbed and-

"Ouch!" The voice had the same effect as cold water on a burn. "Why?"

The dress hugged her figure, the pale yellow fabric a bright contrast against her dark skin. Her hair, coiled into tight ringlets, bounced around her shoulders. She spat the sand Nagisa unknowingly threw her.

"Miru…?" When the hell did she appear?

"Finally!" The girl said, a bit of drool and grains of sand clung to her cheek, "I have been trying to get your attention for a while but I didn't want to interrupt your pacing and kicking. Sand is a tough enemy, isn't it?"

Though she ended on a lighter note, her eyes were filled with worry. Once she was sure Nagisa was calmer, she sat next to her, hugging her knees. "Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" She laughed drily but upon seeing her wide eyes, Nagisa softened a bit. "Sorry, I'm a bit… upset."

"I see. What's the matter?"

Nagisa kept quiet, a strange ball of something choking her. It was one thing to think about it, it was another to explain it.

"Do you… not want to talk about it?"

The younger girl, Nagisa, frowned at nothing. Her emotions were still all over the place and she didn't know if she felt really comfortable confiding in something so  _ personal _ .

"It's just," she waved her hands before sighing, "family matters, I guess."

An uncomfortable silence settled with Nagisa watching the horizon, mulling on her thoughts while her hands automatically played with sand.

"Hmm, you know, in two days, we're going pearl diving. So if you want to escape for a bit, you can come."

Nagisa opened her eyes wide.  _ Pearl diving? _

Nagisa didn't even have to think about it. "I'm in."

* * *

A cloud hovered, casting a shadow over the white and red sails. The boat was flying over the sea, cutting the treacherous waves that tried to overthrow it.

Nagisa stuck her arms out, feeling the wind running through her hair and her fingers. Tiny droplets of water kissed her skin each time they crashed into a wave. Her feet coated with chakra were the only reason why she wasn't stumbling like a baby fawn on the deck.

The boat was full of life, people of all ages were working together, throwing and pulling ropes to inflate the sails, shifting them a bit to better catch the wind. One was screaming orders with the typical liveliness of Uzushio's inhabitants.

Miru left her near the helm, out of the way, while she was busy being shown the ropes of sailoring.

With the ever-moving planks under her feet, the salt on her lips and the wind brushing her hair out of her face, Nagisa felt  _ alive _ . A strange feeling of happiness weaved its way in her bones and spread to warm her guts. A smile that threatened to break her face in half.

It was  _ exhilarating _ .

She remained rooted until the sails were tied and only when Miru's father beckoned her closer did she move. Her feet were unsteady and she tripped over a bucket. Her father caught her on her way down, a deep rumbling shaking his shoulders.

"Still growing your sea legs, I see." He teased. Nagisa smiled, embarrassed, "Miru must have explained to you."

Nagisa nodded. "Yes."

"Alright, it's nothing against you but you will have to wait on the boat for a bit. Family jutsus, ya know." His eyes, grey as steel, twinkled kindly. "The little mermaid will wait with you-"

"-Dad!" Miru puffed red cheeks out, "you promised you wouldn't call me like that!" Her eyes moved for a second, enough to tell Nagisa that she was embarrassed her friend knew about it.

Nagisa squashed the giggles in her throat.

Miru's father laughed naturedly, a big hand crashing on his daughter's hand before he energetically destroyed her ponytail. The girl pouted, grumbled and tried to slap his hand away only for her father to dodge with a laugh.

"Be good you two, I will send Umi to collect you when everything is ready!"

"Yeah, leave us alone, old man!" Miru cried at her father back as he leaped over the rail.

They were left alone on the deck with two other teens, a rough-looking girl and a timid, freckled boy busy glaring at her.

"May I help you?" Nagisa asked, voice on edge after they watched for too long.

Miru scolded at them, squaring her shoulders.

The freckled boy blushed, casting his eyes downward as the girl crossed her arms, eyes akin to flames. It was the boy who answered, a smile straining his lips and a stutter on his tongue

"Of c-c-c-course not, we-"

"Who are you?" The girl rudely interrupted. "You're not of our clan, so what are you doing here?"

"Hey! Watch your mouth, Yue! Nagisa is my friend and deserves respect."

To be fair, Nagisa wouldn't mind watching Miru go feral on that girl. But the girl was wearing a coat over her bra, a coat looking a bit too much like a coat of kazoku - a black tailcoat with a mandarin collar and epaulets - for it to raise her hackles.

"Miru, wai-"

"-So because she is your friend, she deserves respect? You're joking, she is a child who speaks weirdly."

Miru closed her hands, knuckles turning whites and an ugly expression on her face. "No, Nagisa is smart, smarter than you! And she deserves respect because she is an Uzumaki princess!"

Nagisa frowned.  _ Actually... _

A pregnant pause. A battle of glare. A timid throat clearing.

"Actually," the timid boy said, his voice turning higher under the heavy gazes of the three girls, "it's- it's- it's because she is a human being that she deserves respect."

"Shut up, Fenn!"

_ He has a point _ , Nagisa inwardly agreed, crossing her arms and nodding while simultaneously watching the fight unfold. She wasn't going to intervene, it would only sour the argument.

"Are you done?" A voice, deep and slightly annoyed rose from their back. Nagisa jumped, chakra spiked and threw the first thing she reached. A rope slapped the intruder right between the eyes.

If the sudden apparition of the man startled her, his appearance completely broke her. He was a sight for sore eyes, sprawled on the railing with a nicely proportionate face, a sharp jaw and long eyelashes, a strong body, and a very colorful  _ tail _ . Orange, white, and black, the tail was of a clownfish, Nagisa realized, dumbfounded, and mesmerized.

"I'm sorry," the little redhead squeaked out and bowed repeatedly.

The man smiled and dropped his hand. "Nah, good reflexes. It will save your life."

The smile that wanted to bloom on her lips turned strained. She didn't need a reminder of her situation. Her memories of the day of the invasion were still vivid. Sometimes, right before she fell asleep, she could still feel the warmth and stickiness of blood. It stopped her from sleeping.

"Umi. Everything is ready?"

"Yes," he grinned, "we're waiting for the little misses to come."

And just like that, Miru sprinted toward the railing and jumped in the sea, her little hand firmly dragging Nagisa with her.

Shivers ran up and down her body. Cold. The water was cold. Or maybe she was too hot? Movements on her right. Her eyes flew open.

Miru's father's brown locks danced wildly with every shift, it swirled and curled as the man sped through signs. His lower body had fused with his companion, and instead of legs, there was a beautiful tail. The fins, thick and sturdy, were white with red spots akin to paint drops falling from a brush, while the main body was a beautiful gradient of red.

Nagisa watched despite the salt burning her eyes, completely fascinated. One couldn't clearly determine where the fish part begins and the human part ends.

The man blew a bubble toward her. On its way to join her, other tiny bubbles converged and fused with the bigger bubble, growing bigger and bigger within a few seconds. The jutsu kissed her head, chakra tickling her cheeks like a sweet caress, and she could finally breathe.

Nagisa squawked, loudly, and distorted laughs reached her ears. It was weird noises. Their voices sounded more human underwater than above.

Miru's father smacked hard the teen that was laughing himself silly and mocking her. Nagisa was too busy watching around her to care.

Here, in the middle of the sea, Nagisa felt tiny.

White rays shone through the waves and currents, refracting on the rocks smoothed by the flow of the sea and showing the beauty of this other world. The sand was varied in color, browns akin to sand dunes at dawn, as pretty as the wood washed ashore upon windswept waves, whites like porcelain, shining like tiny jewels and blacks like the ink of a brush sweeping on paper, lightening once the excess was left behind.

Far below, where the sun rays barely touched the ground, she distinguished the outlines of Doric columns slowly eaten by green algae, foundations of old houses, crumbling but still present. Small colorful flowers and corals littered the seafloor like specks of colors on a green and white canvas.

Further away, she spied an old ship whose belly was cut open, the sails fluttered in the current as if remembering a time when it was proudly protecting their haven.

A hand caught her arm and carefully dragged her away. Nagisa tilted curiously her head at Miru, eyes sweeping over her figure. Just like she told her, Miru was also wearing the bubble jutsu, having just reached the wee age of 11, she would start to learn the family jutsus the day after Benten. Her friend only pointed at where she used to be.

Jellyfishes, violet or see-through, danced along with the current. Fishes curiously peeked at her, the most brazen dared to swim around her while the others contentedly watched from afar until the novelty she was faded. One, a beautifully pink angelfish, peacefully danced in front of her, turning and spinning for her eyes to feast on it before it swam away.

Nagisa chuckled, tugging on Miru's hand before pointing at the floor. Her eyes conveyed her desire to inspect the ruins closely. Miru nodded, her eyes sparkling and the corners of her mouth curling up. She let a cheerful laugh and started to swim.

The powerful tail of her father blocked them. "Before you leave, let's establish some rules."

"What? More rules?" Miru frowned, her cute lips pouting. She heaved a sigh, bubbles flying from her mouth. "I already have a knife and the beads."

"Those are for emergency," he explained before turning toward her, "We usually don't bring strangers with us when pearl-hunting, so it's a bit new for us too. Sorry for the many rules but I would hate for one of the princesses of Uzushio to be hurt while with us."

A strange shiver ran down his arms.

"So for now, bear with us. Better safe than sorry, right?" He stopped her whining with a sweep of his hand. "So, don't go too far. If you feel like the current is taking you away or see danger, break the bead. If you're facing one of the beasts, don't panic. They are mostly blind and peaceful, but you never know. Azuki here lost his arm to one."

An older man deeply tanned with clear eyes and deep wrinkles nodded. Nagisa paled when her eyes fell on his right arm. Or where his right arm should be. Deep teeth marks dragged across half his torso and his shoulder, the scares, white and eye-catching. The cut on his stump wasn't clean, more like-

Like it has been chewed.  _ Oh god… _

"Don't go too deep. Miru, I know you can handle it but Nagisa is not a Daiba, she can't survive under extreme pressure." Her father, hands on his hips, hummed slightly. The bad on his shoulder was floating above his head, entangling with his hair. "Finally, the jutsu will hold for an hour. Past this time, there will be no oxygen. So you go back to the boat. Got it?"

The girls, both face white, nodded earnestly.

A woman - broad shoulders, powerful arms, visible abs, and white hair - slapped Miru's father's back, laughing. "Don't scare them shitless now. Look at them, as white as baby mantas' bottoms. The attacks happened twice in the last century, no need to fret. And we're too far from the whirlpools. Just go enjoy the seafloor, eat a few stickys, and explore the vestige of Uzushio and the shipwrecks."

Her father glared at the woman, his expression as cold as ice but the woman couldn't care less. She sent him a smirk in answer.

Nagisa's mind was reeling. Her eyes rolled into orbits and foam ran down the side of her mouth.  _ Uzushio's vestige…? _

It was flooded? Uzushio used to be bigger? Did we lose a lot of knowledge? What happened?

Her head hurt; it was pulsing, as if hangovered, while a vicious desire to learn more clawed its way in her heart. Her lung hurt her too, as if-

"Breathe," a warm hand, her warmth in the middle of the cold sea, paused against her back.

Nagisa did as said, taking in a deep breath and everything felt better. She blinked at Miru.  _ How? _ The girl snickered at the question in her eyes.

"You forget to breathe when you're too excited."

_ How… unexpectedly observant of her. _ Miru wasn't conscious of the others. Unless told, she didn't know about one's usual behavior, about their micro-expression or their habits. It was Nagisa's role. Miru was chattier and attracted the attention more; people would look at her, never the contrary.

So for her to know about that, it was unexpected. And weird.

Nagisa smiled, unable to say anything.

An old man whose bottom fused with a squid and carrying a harpoon came closer. "You should go," his smile was kind, he was missing a few teeth, "these two won't stop bickering before a long while."

They nodded.

"Do you know what she meant when she talked about Uzushio's vestiges?" Goosebumps erupted as a particularly cold current embraced them. Nagisa shuddered and sent a jealous glare at Miru. As a Daiba, her skin was thicker and rougher, she didn't feel the cold like normal people did.

The girl laughed, throwing her head back while her shoulders shook. "I knew you would ask that." She threw her a teasing smile, "You're such an intellectual. When you're not at your home or at the beach, you hole yourself in the library."

The Uzumaki girl pressed her lips into a thin line. Well, she wasn't wrong but why did she feel like she was being mocked?

"Whatever," she crossed her arms and huffed, "Just answer the question already."

"Yes, I actually know." With two powerful kicks, Miru propelled herself forward, spinning as she passed through the circle a dolphin made. She came back to her. "My father told me the first time we dived together."

Her eyes glassed a bit, a hand mindlessly rising to clutch her necklace. It was very simple with just an iridescent scale as a pendant. Like an afterthought, Nagisa copied her. Her finger running down the worn string to reach the small angelfish whose nose stubbornly pointed toward the surface, toward home.

It wasn't her first time diving and yet, she didn't have a companion. Intriguing. Did she need to reach an age or was she unclaimed?

Nagisa bit her lips, stopping herself from asking the questions on her mind.  _ It's rude and it's a family matter. _

Still, her curiosity reared to attention.

They floated in silence a few instants, Nagisa's back toward Miru to give her intimacy. The strange mood left as fast as it arrived.

"Right," her friend cleared her throat, "Before the flood, right? Well, we don't know much, it's just theories but it is believed that Uzushio was a peninsula. Something happened though, some say that the other clans were jealous and planned to attack us but Shio-zuchi-sama flooded the world to protect the Uzumaki and the few accepted clans."

Her friend spoke with such easy confidence that it was hard for Nagisa to not believe what she was telling her. However, while she didn't have clear memories about that time, she was sure the story-teller said that Uzushio used to be a floating island. Which meant-

"Is it a widely accepted theory?"

Miru shrugged. "Don't know, we don't really talk about that."

It would be weird if it was, considering that it went against their legends. Nagisa hummed under her breath, sweeping her hair out of her face. So the water rose rapidly and they had to take refuge further up. She felt a twitch in her fingers and the urge to go find Mito to share her discovery. Maybe they could scourge the library together to find more information?

"Hey, want to take a closer look?" When faced with hesitation, Miru rolled her eyes fondly. "Come on, it doesn't bite and if a stone viciously attacks you, I swear I will use a bead."

Nagisa clacked her tongue, annoyance coloring her face. The problem wasn't here. The vestiges were deep below the surface and halfway there, the pressure was high enough to make her skirmish. Still-

"Alright."

If something felt off, she could go back.

Down they went, Nagisa willingly swan dived into the very cold, hard to breathe zone. The water became dark blue.

She swam closer to what looked like a temple, ruins of an ancient time. Beautiful columns lost to the tide and covered in coral and kelp. The sun rays were shily reflecting against the stones, moving with the waves and bringing some semblance of life to something that has been abandoned.

A closer inspection revealed bits of paint that had yet to be washed away. Luminous gold ink carved and etched into the stone - probably prayers designed to keep the evil away- mosaics at the bottom, telling old stories, now lost forever.

Near the columns, laid against half-covered stairs, she found remnants of clay pots and jars. Most were utterly destroyed and the salt and sea did its job in eroding the decorations on it. However, with enough determination, Nagisa discovered a jar hidden under a rock and mostly covered by the sand.

Her treasure was old, she could feel part of it crumbling under her fingers, but somehow some decorations were spared from the marks of time. That's how she discovered the crest. It wasn't a maelstrom. It belonged neither to the Uzumaki nor to any clans present on Uzushio as of now.

_ How weird… An extinct clan?  _ It was the smartest theory. But she should have learned about it.

The next few treasures she found were branded with the same crest, a cross that curled. And everywhere she looked-

-There wasn't any Uzumaki's crest.

Her brows creased. Uzushio had always belonged to the Uzumaki, so where the hell was their crest? Compared with how everything was branded Uzumaki or Uzumaki-made, the lack of crest was peculiar. Nagisa didn't know what to think about that.

_ Perhaps… It was a clan ground? _ If she wasn't wrong, the same thing happened in Konoha, there was Uchiha's ground or-  _ wait, what was their name? The other clan with a dojutsu... _ She stared at nothing.  _ Whatever.  _ What mattered was that it was a possible theory, with a very likely outcome.

She swept at her hair again, grumbling that she should have braided the damn thing. They were getting too long, almost reaching her mid-back.

She huffed through her nose, going crossed eyes to watch the bubbles flying toward the surface. From the corner of her eyes, she spied Miru pushing several things in the piece of clothes that was covering her non-existent chest.

While Nagisa had been busy marveling at everything, her friend took it upon herself to collect every pretty shell she could find, hoping to give it to Nagisa's grandmother. Perhaps she could do matching jewels for the two girls?

With this thought, she scourged every crevice, hands fluttering and touching everything, the smoothness of the rocks and the roughness of the corals, the cold stickiness of the algae and-

"Oh!" she cried out, nursing her arm. It felt like she touched an electric eel, like thousands of tiny needles pierced her fingers and ran up her arm. She bit back the sobs that tried to escape. It hurt and her hand was growing numb.

"What's happening?" Miru felt vibrations in her back, then worried eyes green eyes appeared. "Are you hurt?" Warm feelings spread in her gut at the concern.

"It's nothing. I just touched something weird and-"

A gasp. Nagisa wasn't listening anymore, instead, she was focusing on the spot Miru inadvertently showed her. She swam closer.

"No. Don't go closer!" Miru shouted, failing to grasp her arm. She couldn't go closer, she would get hurt.

Miru didn't want to see Nagisa hurt anymore. Maybe, at first, when Nagisa was only the 'Uzumaki princess' in her head, she did but now that she became Nagisa - sometimes, she was 'the weirdo that was her friend' but only in her head! -, she didn't. Miru was older now, she needed to protect her!

Nagisa never touched the thing, instead, she swam in circles under the anxious gaze of her friend until a bigger gasp left her small lips. She turned toward Miru, surprise, shock, and excitement dancing in her eyes until she settled for confusion. She scrunched her nose, the beauty mole on her cheek moving along her gasping mouth.

Nagisa was a cute kid.

"Chakra?" Miru tilted her head.  _ What?  _ "Why is there chakra?"

Her eyes, cloudy with confusion, suddenly lightened, as if she was struck by a realization. She dived back near the thing - a line of black sand? - and started to push things off the black line fervently.

"What are you… ?"

"Come on, help me."

Confused, she obeyed and helped her push away corals and old stones.

Miru frowned, something wasn't adding. First, the line kept going on. But most importantly-

"Why is the current flowing this way?"

Nagisa paused. "What do you mean?"

"Well," for a second, the older girl was embarrassed.  _ She is going to think I'm weird for knowing that.  _ " We're in the RedStream." Faced with her dead-panned expression, Miru explained. "It's a warm current that flows from Uzushio toward the trench and filled with life. So your hair should be pushed in your face, but… They're going right, following another current. One that shouldn't exist inside the RedStream."

Her friend blinked, once, twice, thrice before her face twisted into a frown.

Underwater, Miru thought distractingly, her skin looked nice. She had a nice golden brown shade while Miru was more black than brown.

"Current, you say…" Nagisa muttered to herself before she stared vacantly at nothing.

Miru's heart squeezed. She didn't like it when Nagisa had that expression. She seemed so distant, taking refuge in a place she couldn't reach, leaving her alone in the present. The red-haired girl blinked, her face becoming alive once more.

"Do you know…" Nagisa stopped, thinking a bit more before she started again. "Do you know where the current is leading?"

Miru crunched her brows, fingers stroking her chin before she answered. "I think- I think they are leading toward the whirlpools."

It seemed that Nagisa was waiting for this answer as her ears seemed to prick up. Inwardly, Miru smiled at the rekindled flames that shone in her eyes. Still, she couldn't understand why the news made her this happy.

Nagisa kicked the ground and propelled herself up and up and further away from he-

"What are you doing?" Miru shouted in alarm. Today was supposed to be a nice outing between two friends. Why did it stray so much from the plan? Was it the pressure? Did they go too deep? Did it break Nagisa?

"Verifying a theory. Trying to have a global view of the thing."

A theory? What kind of theory?

"A mind-boggling, mind-changing theory that could shatter my whole perception of Uzushio."

How did she know what she was thinking? Could she read minds now?

"You're speaking, dummy."

Ah.

Another audible gasp and then, Nagisa burst into laughter, laughing herself silly until she was gasping for air, and Miru, below her, watched her.

May it fate or sheer dumb luck, the sun was shining right behind her head, setting fire to the shiny red lock scattered around her. A fiery crown, quite fitting for one of the princesses of this island.

Her heart was stomping a bit harder against her ribcage. A strange eerie feeling crept on her. It was like the first time she saw her, the same feeling that told her that the girl above her was different.

That she was destined for greatness.

* * *

Nagisa smiled brightly.

She couldn't explain what she was feeling, she just knew it was good. To think that- To think that it would be true. Her clan was truly mad. Her eyes traced the visible lines, breathing deeply to calm her racing heart.

"Mito is going to flip when I tell her." Even imagining her expression broadened her smile. Her eyes would sparkle, eyes round and mouth open, then when she fully understood what she told her, she would break in a frenzy, eyes taking a feverish hue.

It was  _ incredible _ . Beyond anything Nagisa could imagine. She was  _ floored _ .

When she caught the odd look Miru sent her, the younger girl smiled, beckoning her closer.

"You see the lines, the way it curved and joined others, well, it suspiciously looks like a kanji, 'water' - we should completely uncover the whole thing to be sure but..." She brushed her doubt with a hand, "What really matters is that kanji are used in sealing, you follow?"

Miru nodded.

"Add the fact that an unnatural current flowing toward the whirlpools is created, what do you get?" Miru's lips turned into a straight line. She failed to answer her. "You get the very likely theory that the whirlpools are artificials. They were created by fuinjutsu masters!"

"Yes, and?"

"What do you mean, 'and'? It's bloody marvelous. Fantastic! Do you realize the amount of time spent working on the seal, it must have taken years! Centuries! The absolute madmen! It's a work of art. Self-sufficient seals that created giant spirals of death."

Nagisa sighed dreamily. What a seal.

"Alright." The redhead frowned at the cautious answer. "But the lines of black sands should have been blown away with the tides. How are they still so-" Miru waved her hands.

"It's chakra. Chakra is keeping the seal together."

Still, to draw giant seals like that, the masters must have been something else. Maybe they were giants, it was the only rational explanation for the lines perfectly drawn. How many times did they have to redraw it? Did they draw poaches beforehand? Just how-

"Nagisa, look!" Miru pointed cheerfully her finger toward the deep dark blue further away, eager to stir the conversation toward a topic she was more familiar with, "You can see the trench from here. My father told me it's where the beast lay-" The words died in her throat.

Nagisa's blood ran cold and her heart jumped out of her ribcage and ran away.

Gigantic didn't quite cover the size of the sea serpent that soared from the trench. But seeing the beast with her own two eyes, Nagisa couldn't come up with a better term. The fright completely shut of her thesaurus mode.

Its infinite slithering body covered in green scales and its magenta's mane disappeared into the dark depth below once again, dragging with its massive jaws a whale.

Her mind was quiet, the shock having seized her most fundamental function. Miru was the first one to come back to her senses.

"Wha- What- ...?"

_ What did I just see? _

Nagisa closed her mouth, staring vacantly at nothing.

"Did you… ?"

"Yes." Nagisa swallowed the panic rising in her throat. "I think- I think I just peed a little."

The remark that would have sent Miru giggling was only met with silence. Her friend swallowed loudly.

"I think I did too."

They remained rooted on-spot a few more minutes, trying desperately to shake the stupor off.

"I think we should head back."

"Miru," Nagisa nodded dumbly, "that's a fantastic idea."

* * *

"-we saw a serpent big like this," Miru opened her arms wide, it raised a few chuckles, " and it opened its jaws and -  ** _Bam!_ ** \- it swallowed a whale whole. And then, it turned its massive head toward us. I thought we were down for it. Thankfully, we escaped."

Miru ended her tirade here, wet strands glued to her face and eyes opened. Her story raised quite a few brows and chuckles, mostly in disbelief. They knew her tendency of exaggerating things.

Nagisa was enjoying the nice breeze, watching the sailors knotting the ropes and moving the sails to catch the wind.

"You're going to make a wonderful storyteller." One sailor laughed. Miru crossed her arms, looking like an angry frog.

"It's true!" She exploded after another few remarks were made. "Nagisa, tell them."

Miru's eyes shined pitifully, imploring her to tell them because they would listen to her. Nagisa didn't have a reputation for making up stories and exaggerating after all.

The corners of her mouth wobbled, the temptation of disagreeing with her was incredibly sweet. But Nagisa ultimately nodded. "It's true, we saw a sea serpent from afar." She shuddered at the memory.

"What was the color of the mane?" The white-haired woman asked, sprawled near her with a hand dipping in the water. "Warm current at ten." They pulled the ropes.

Nagisa blinked.  _ The color of the mane…? _

"Magenta, I think."

"Oh! You've seen old Seri. He is impressive, isn't he?" The woman talked about the beast as if she was the proud mother of a genius child. "But don't worry, he is old and quite meek. He is the smallest of them all."

_ The  _ ** _what_ ** _ ? Smallest? ? _

The word reverberated in her brain like an echo.

Uzushio really liked to remind her how small and weak she was.

* * *

"Hey, do you want to join me for Benten-hime?"

Miru's eyes gleamed like jewels for a second before she winced. "Sorry, the day after is my coming of age ceremony. I will get my companion!"

"It's alright," Nagisa answered warmly, inside though, she was groaning.

_ There goes my awesome idea of Mito and Miru becoming friends. _

* * *

They trailed through the historic part of Uzushio. A group of children passed her, laughing and pushing each other. Faces usually covered in specks of dirt were cleaned and the hair, finely combed.

Nagisa smiled wryly.

It was weird though, sometimes she felt fondness watching children play, like an adult reminiscing of old times. Other times, she was annoyed and bitter. A bit jealous. It was almost like she was constantly shifting between old and young, never able to fit into one category.

On instinct, Nagisa dodged the arm coming her way, the owner of the limb, too engrossed in his story, didn't even realize he almost knocked someone out. Nagisa huffed a sigh.

Celebratory events in Uzushio were taken very seriously. The streets teemed with liveliness, the usually inky starry night was ablaze with lanterns, candles and big campfires projected difform shadows everywhere.

Tonight, the people of Uzushio were moving as one, breathing as one.

Tonight was Benten-hime's night.

They reached the river and took left. When the shroud of the high forest greeted its humble visitors, when an old but not forgotten statue rose splendidly from the ground, they stopped.

One could only see such dense vastness here, mazed with great oaks and pines as tall as hills, clusters of shrubbery and evergreen and wild daffodils. The soft glows of the torches set the surroundings ablaze, adding a soft gold to the vivid green and brown.

It was a mystic place, golden and red inks painted on old papers dangling from the branches, prayers for good fortune and the safe return of their sailors. The statue, two lovers with no distinctive feature entangled together, was covered in moss despite being scrubbed every two days.

An old legend wanted that two star-crossed lovers born from feuding clans met here until one of the lovers died following the attack of their clan. The remaining lover, out of his mind, went on a rampage, killing both his and his lover's clans, before he brought his lover's corpse back here and laid next to them, wailing. Shio-zuchi-sama took pity on the man, reminded of his own misfortune, and transformed the two lovers into stones for they would forever remain together.

It was quite morbid.

Nagisa stood near the statue, taking in her surroundings. She had promised Mito to meet here.

At first, when she had asked Mito, the girl had been torn. She seemed reluctant but her eyes shone brightly. Two desires collided within her but Nagisa was none the wiser of her plight. Finally, after enough mulling, she had agreed only if her father allowed it. Nagisa had found the colors she lost during the wait at that.

It took her two days before she came back toward her with an affirmative answer. Nagisa could have fainted with relief.

But still,  _ where the hell are you Mito? _

It was, Nagisa checked the sky, almost time and her cousin was nowhere to be seen.  _ Did she ditch me? _ She shook her head.  _ No, Mito is a nice girl, she wouldn't do that without a good excuse. _

She shifted on her feet, growing impatient as seconds passed. She crossed her arms, fingers digging in her elbows. Maybe she should go searching for her.

_ No, no, _ she shook her head again, a hand hovering over her hair, clearly tempted to be buried in her styled hair.  _ Stay put, she is just late and she will- Ah, fuck it. _

Nagisa turned on herself, searching for red. There was a lot of red, she was on Uzushio after all, and as today was an Uzumaki's feast, some people dyed their hair red to pay tribute.

_ Alright, maybe not my best idea… Maybe I should- Uh? _

Nagisa frowned, tilting her head and squinting. There was a girl waiting on the other side of the statue.

"Well, I'll be damned," Nagisa muttered. She slowly circled the two lovers, taking in the girl. A pretty green yukata and a mask pushed on her forehead. Mito's eyebrows were drawn in a faint expression of anxiety.

Nagisa laughed. She thought this kind of scenario only happened in books but they almost missed each other because they were waiting on different sides of the statue.

"Hey, little girl. Are you lost?"

Nagisa stopped in her stride. Her cousin hardly blinked - she sent the two men clothed in rags and stumbling around, drunk out of their minds, a contemptuous look. Though, Nagisa realized, it didn't come naturally as the expression was more stiff than contemptuous.

"I'm alright. I'm meeting someone." Nagisa heard her say, in a cool voice. The two fools did not take the hint.

"Of course, you're meeting someone. You met us!" His laugh was disturbing to hear, like acid grating on her eardrums. He watched the sky, elbowing his friend. The poison spread to her guts at his following words. "It's quite late, you must be hungry. Fancy eating a bit with your two nice friends?"

Nagisa felt nauseous. Did they- did they just- Mito had a chubby, young face. They couldn't  _ not _ have realized that she was a child. So why…?

She felt like throwing up.

She knew those kinds of people existed but-

She never expected to see one on Uzushio.

"I  _ said _ I'm meeting someone." Mito held her ground but the gleam of fear in her eyes was undeniable. "So move along."

The men laughed.

"Or what?"

Perhaps their confidence came from alcohol. They were in the middle of a crowd. Did they really expect to leave unscathed?

It came back to her like a tidal wave of realization - a realization should have preferred never having. She remembered back when she was Maria of a man collapsing in front of her, dead. He had been assassinated in the middle of a crowd.

Shivers ran down her arms.

"Or I will do something unpleasant to you," she informed them. Her hands were shaking, fingers tightly curled into fists.

Something akin to annoyance flashed in the man's eyes. His demeanor started to change. He took a step forward, hovering over her cousin. "Come on, don't be like that. We just want to help."

She needed to move, Nagisa realized, but her legs remained rooted on spot.  _ What the hell. Mito is in danger. Why do I feel fear? _ She took one step through sheer willpower.

"I don't need your help." Mito did not falter, looking squarely in his eyes.

However, Nagisa faltered once more, unable to comprehend her cousin. Nagisa always believed that Mito was courageous. She was wrong. Mito was  _ reckless _ .

_ Doesn't she feel fear? _

His face turned ugly, mouth turning down in a grimace. He raised a hand, going for Mito. "Listen, you little-"

She wasn't the one to reach her cousin first. It was a woman, tall, sturdy and white-haired -  _ is she the woman from a few days ago? _ \- that caught his hand, holding painfully tight.

"Didn't you hear? She told you to shove off in a nice way." The heat of her words burned everyone around. The woman was furious. "So,  _ shove off _ ."

Her half-lidded eyes held a warning in them, tempting them to try pissing her off and she would show them pain.

The men gave Mito's savior a once-over, eyeing her bulging muscles and their own lack of strength before deciding that an altercation wasn't worth it. "Right, right. We would have left if she told us to."

The woman sneered, clutching his hand and twisting. The man howled in pain, a knee to the ground. His eyes were filled with unsheathed tears. "Don't approach any kid  _ ever _ . Or else." Her voice deepened, her smile turning dangerous.

The men nodded fervently and the white-haired woman let them go. They ran, leaving behind a trail of dust.

Dusting her hands with a disgusted expression, as if she touched something particularly nasty, the woman turned toward Mito. "You okay-" Her eyes met Nagisa's eyes. "-tadpole!"

Nagisa blinked, startled.  _ Tadpole? _

"What are you doing here? I thought you would be with Miru."

So, it was indeed the Daiba woman. She took two steps toward them, Mito's eyes naturally fell on her.

"You are late," she told her, the tension slowly leaving her body. "So that I was going to leave."

_ No, you weren't.  _ Nagisa kept this thought to herself, knowing that it would do her no good. She seemed to read her thoughts as she frowned and turned her face the other way.

"Sorry. Are you okay?"

"You know each other?" She spotted a glimpse of the woman's cheeky grin before she put back on the mask that was dangling from her neck.

"She is my cousin." Nagisa spied from the corner of her eyes Mito leaning toward them, the sparkle in her eyes that spoke to being intrigued. "Thank you for helping her."

"Yes," Mito nodded before bowing gracefully, "thank you for helping - even if everything was under control."

Nagisa squawked while a distorted - worse than usual - laugh reached her ears. Did Mito become more brazen under her care?

"Cheeky minx. So, you're the tadpole's cousin. Interesting. I will remember it." She tilted her head, watching something behind her shoulders. "Anyway, I'm off. Have fun. Go wild!"

The woman left, waving over her shoulder, leaving Mito with Nagisa.

"Who was it?" The younger girl, Mito, turned toward her, folding her hand into the sleeves of her yukata.

"Hmm, I don't know her name?" Mito raised a brow. "I mean, I met her a few days ago but I never caught her name."

Nagisa sheepishly shrugged, though, Mito didn't seem convinced.

"She gave you a nickname." She pointed out, still not ready to let that go. "You have to be close to give a nickname."

Technically, it was true, if one looked at it through the posh and fancy lenses of Uzushio's nobility's glass. Though, nicknames could also be used as a way of belittling someone.

"Well-"

An explosion. Flashes of colors - red, blue and white - in the sky. Two big gasps.

"The dance!" Mito and Nagisa watched each other with bulging eyes.

They barely reached the on time, weaving through the crowd like shadows.

A shift in the air, a change in the rhythm of the tranquil song.

The dance began.

From the corner of her eyes, Nagisa spied Mito leaning forward eagerly, pushing locks out of her flushed face.

Colorful masks of gods and goddesses stormed to the middle of the ring, each dancer's position around the colossal campfire held carefully still.

The music died down.

Silence. The only noise heard was the sound of the streaming river and the heavy breathing of some.

Their costumes were all differents: a fitted bra wrapped around the breast, a fitted hip belt hanging loosely around wide sinfully tanned hips and a full-length skirt covering long and fit legs for some; the drawings of scales on powerful, shirtless torsos for others and the unexpected loosed yukata for the representations of the higher gods.

And yet, all had that one detail that reminded her of the sea.

A sway of hips, the start of a song.

She found herself wrapped within the melody, the tempo wild and thrumming through her veins, the notes grazing her skin like a sweet stroke; it enticed her to join the dance. That feverish energy that moved the dancers was growing inside her, warming her guts and spreading. It put her on the edge of a precipice she only wished to throw herself off with reckless abandon.

Her eyes were following their movements eagerly, a hitch that fully turned into a drumming pulsed in her hands.

With an amazed smile, Nagisa watched the crowd move. It was slow sways at first, then more upbeat moves until there was no choreography, just the need to move. The energy that gained her had also gained the others.

The dance, if she wasn't wrong, was supposed to enact the tale of Benten-Hime and Shio-Zuchi-sama. The birth of the Uzumaki.

The drums' beats slowed, the flute ceased and two figures rose from the river. Exclamations fussed from all sides: screams and delightful cackles, cheers and loud proclamations of love.

It was madness and Nagisa  _ absolutely _ adored it. Her grin threatened to tear her face apart but she couldn't care less. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the urge of simply… doing something.

The tempo picked up from slow and controlled to intense and wild.

The soft curve of a back greeted her eyes, the spine undulating and arching this way and that. The unknown woman tilted her head toward her, her pupils fully dilated and a wild smile turned into a smirk. She shook her shoulders, arching her back more and more until she was watching behind her.

She turned and spun before she addressed Nagisa another glance. It was quick but Nagisa was sure the woman saw her hands moving and her incapability of remaining still, and perhaps, if she looked deeply enough in her eyes, she could see the shackles Nagisa put on herself.

The woman gave her a pleased look, encouraging her to join them with a finger.

And Nagisa wanted to join, she really did, but she would be leaving Mito alone and she couldn't do that.

She closed her hands into fists and gritted her teeth.

A tap on her wrist made her relax her grip and she sent a questioning glance toward Mito only to be surprised by the feverish glow of her eyes. Her friend's smile was growing wider and wider and she only had to tilt her head toward the crowd for Nagisa to nod.

_ Well, the wild beast that bit me infected you as well, uh? _

She let Mito guide her deeper in the crowd.

* * *

"You looked particularly excited in the middle of the crowd. I think that the happiest I've seen you." Her teeth ripped the soft flesh of a peach apart with delight. The juice ran down the side of her face and Nagisa wiped it against her shoulder.

Mito smiled, raising a leg out of the water, admiring her wiggling toes before letting her foot splashed down in the river again. Sweat ran down her forehead and the back of her neck. She cackled when Nagisa flinched out of the way.

"Yes, I was." She paused and her eyes creased softly, "I am."

Nagisa hummed thoughtfully and after careful considerations, she sat down next to her once more.

"I'm glad then," And she really was.

They sat together for some time, gazing at the full moon and simply enjoying the afterglow of the dance.

"Thank you, Nagisa." Mito broke the silence. "It-... I thought I would never go to that feast ever again." A strange, bitter smile that didn't suit her face broke out, "It was the favorite day of my mother."

Nagisa held still, barely breathing. Should she say something? Should she wait for Mito to speak some more?

She settled for a soft humming, one conveying her willingness to listen but also to not force her to speak.

"My father is not who he used to be. Sometimes, it feels like he isn't even here. I- I fear that he will leave me to follow Mom." Her voice broke and it twisted Nagisa's heart. She held her hand to give her strength and support all the while blaming herself for being so terrible at comforting people.

"I like the liveliness of the party, it's noisy. Unlike at home. Mom used to- she used to always talk. There was almost no silence but now... "

She stopped talking, her face, lighted by the soft rays of the moon, twisted in a pained expression. It weighed on her.

Nagisa bit her lips, moaning internally about her lack of talent for comforting people before she sighed.

"It's going to be hard-" grief and everything following was hard to deal - " -but it's not impossible. It will be hard and painful but one day, it won't hurt as much as it used to. It's hard but it won't always be."

How she dearly wished someone told her that when she was going mad with sadness. Those words, a kind presence. A pillar of strength.

"So you need to keep moving forward and when you falter, when you crumble" Nagisa closed her eyes, conveying the feelings hidden inside her heart, "I will be there to pick you up."

For Mito, a sad girl whose loneliness mirrored her own, Nagisa will become her pillar of strength. She won’t let her take the same path she did, reckless to the point of blindness, forgetting everything else to soothe her soul.

Mito let a few sobs out, safely buried in the arms of her cousin.

...

To be continued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are the end of chapter 10. Hopefully, you like it!
> 
> I gave my everything for the description in this one!
> 
> Anyway, as always, thank you for helping me writing this chapter, your support, comments always fill me with will!
> 
> It's not betaread so there might be a lot of mistakes, ignore it.
> 
> Take care, write reviews if you want to share your opinion and wear masks please!
> 
> I'm off!


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